driftfleet | "My mind's like a deadly disease..."

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"My mind's like a deadly disease..."

Who: Wanda Maximoff
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Starstruck
When: Now

Broadcast - Text

[Wanda's presence, both in the Fleet's comms and aboard its vessels, has dwindled, slowly but surely, over the course of the past month. There was period of time, around the beginning of the month, when she couldn't be found or reached at all--save for by Misty, Vision and Pietro. More perceptive fleet members might recall that her disappearance occurred around the time that rumors of a dragon and its rider terrorizing Solrius were circulating about. However, she did pop back up a little while later, seemingly as though nothing was wrong. However, those that know her well may have picked up the subtle tells that there was something she was not saying. Something that she was trying to bury. And so, she became more and more scarce around the Fleet. At least, until now...]

What do you think happens after death?

[The message is short and simple. Anyone familiar with the festivities of the month of October, perhaps this is simply her way of trying to get into the spirit of things?]

Starstruck - Action

[Friends and shipmates of Wanda's, if they want to go looking for her, will find her either holed up in her bunkroom aboard the Starstruck, or in a corner of the ship's kitchen or shuttle bay at times she thinks no one would typically wander in. By the look on her face, it is clear something is troubling her.]

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[The shaking slowly stops, and Wanda finally pulls back enough to look up at Steve. Her eyes very red from all the crying. From the expression on her face though, it's clear that she does understand what Steve is telling her.]

[Ultimately, they each had their own ghosts that haunted them. The what-ifs and could-have-beens... they stretch out far too long for either of them to risk dwelling on. The shock and pain of her own death and accompanying resurrection-- it had been enough to jar Wanda into looking back. The questions fed into a guilt she's long tried to suppress. The guilt of being the survivor. The combination of the two compounded each other, beating her down to the state Steve had found her in.]

[It had taken Steve's intervention to truly pull her back out of it. His words of understanding and comfort. If he hadn't been here... She shakes her head softly, breaking her arms from their hug so that she can properly wipe away any remaining tears.]

[She makes a sound halfway between a cough and a laugh. A weak smile finds its way to her face. It's the first genuine smile, small as it may be, that she's been able to make for several days now. Finally, a sign from her to Steve that she will be okay. It might still take her a bit to fully come to terms with this and move forward, but this at least was a start.]

"We'll have each other."

[She repeats his line back to him. Her tone then turns more teasing, though it's still pocketed with strain from all the crying.]

You better not let Peggy hear you talking like that.

[ there is something tight at the back of his throat, a sting behind his eyelids and yet those are quickly put aside at the sound of her laughter. his own come soon after. ]

I think she might forgive me this time.

[ might, he says. ]

[Being this close to Steve and being the telepath that she is, she can sense the shift. She gives him a worried look.]

What is it?

Nothing.

[ but that is a lie and even without being a telepath, she'd know as much. wanda is observant, more so than most people steve knows. in her quiet way, she sees things others don't. ]

I guess it's just all of this here. I mean, for so long, I thought all of this was lost. You've seen it. The dance was the last thing I promised her before I went under.

[ a bit of a smile ]

and now we talk about her as if she's - it's like she's always been there.

[Wanda's eyes go wide as her thoughts and memories drift back to the vision-- the nightmare she had put in his head back when she had fought against the Avengers instead of alongside.]

[At the time, she had not lingered to watch the vision unfold in his head, but... she knows what she tapped into when she put it there. Her memories recreating the vision for her now as she thinks back.]

[The pain and guilt return to her expression. Had she ever... had she never apologized to him for what she did to him?]

Steve, I... What you saw... it was my fault. They were your memories, but... I warped them. I used them and your fear... to hurt you.

I... I am sorry.

[It's so late. It likely counts for nothing now.]

But Peggy... she is here now. She has been here as long as I have. When she saw you arrive, I imagine she was feeling largely the same as you are now. The two of you...

[She shakes her head, trying to figure out the words to express what she wants.]

You are both here now. That is what matters now. You can think of the past, the future-- worry about the times you or her were not there or will not be there.

[She then places a hand on his arm, hoping he will not pull away after her admittance-- her belated apology for what she did.]

Or you can celebrate the chance to be with each other now. Make good of that time. Remember it or not when we get home, you'll still have had those moments together. And that will always be better than if you didn't, because the you now was able to make up for that lost time.

They weren't - memories. Never got to make them.

[ he smiles, squeezes her shoulder a little. ]

It wasn't your fault. It was Ultron. No matter what happened that day, it's not something I can regret. We wouldn't have had you on our team if it didn't.

[ them coming together as a team was not an easy thing, filled with pain and anger and loss. ]

That's just the thing.

[ and it's probably one of those thing he will only admit to her ]

stay here long enough and this might be home.

[ with those they both loved and lost now here, alive and vivid and within reach. ]

In a way it kinda is, already. You know, I've never asked you how long have you been here.

[Even with Steve's acceptance of her apology, it doesn't fully diminish the guilt she feels over her actions.]

Ultron... He may have been the one who told me to do what I did to you. But I- [Her voice catches. She swallows and tries again.] I wanted to do it. I wanted to hurt you. To break the Avengers.

Yet, you... you still allowed Pietro and I to fight alongside you. You then took me in, gave me a home, a team... a family... why?

[She then shakes her head. She isn't trying to make things about her again. Right now, she wanted to be there for Steve in the way that he had just been there for her.]

You know... As much as I am loathe to admit it... perhaps this place is not such a bad one to call home.

We have each other, and we have those we love and care about here. Isn't that what a home is?

[She then lets out a deep sigh. Not quite believing herself that she just said all that. She really hopes the Atroma weren't watching, slim a chance as that was...]

I've been here for over a year. If time is a factor, then yes... this place has basically become my home.

You thought we hurt you. In a way we had, we made mistakes, you and Pietro made them too but we could either fight each other or we could give each other a chance. We gave you one but you took it, you proved yourself.

[ he meets her gaze, offers her a smile. ]

You know for the longest time, I didn't even know where home was. After the ice, it all felt different. I think you're right.

[ it is a home, in a way. ]

I think there's more to it now than there was when I first came here.

[Wanda smiles weakly back at Steve. She is unquestionably grateful to him and the other Avengers, though other than Vision and Steve the rest were slower to come around, for giving her and Pietro the chance to redeem themselves. However, there seems to be some doubt behind her eyes as to whether or not she believes she has done enough yet to deserve that chance.]

I can understand the feeling. Not exactly knowing where home was. The only place that mattered was wherever Pietro was. Along as we were together... that was our home.

And now it seems that applies to even this place.

[A small, wry grin on her face as she shakes her head again. She really, really cannot believe she's admitting it out loud. She then adds with a bit of that signature playful, teasing tone of her's:]

It's nice that you and the others are around too, I suppose.

[It's been a while since Steve's last heard it. A good sign that Wanda's starting to turn herself around.]

Oh, you suppose, do you?

[ he smiles, tugs her in to another quick hug. they're more alike than he could have imagined, she and him, lost and found as they are. perhaps that's part of why steve could always understand her better than the rest of them. ]

here.

[ he takes off his jacket and puts it over her shoulders. ]

Want some coffee?

[She giggles softly at his response and the quick embrace. She gives him a little squeeze of thanks before they part.]

[As he drapes his jacket over her, she pulls it in a little closer around her shoulders. Her smile grows a little stronger, a little warmer. While she's not exactly a coffee drinker--Steve can thank Peggy for turning Wanda into a fellow tea lover, she'll still take him up on his offer.]

That sounds nice.

[A pause before she adds:]

Thank you, Steve.

[There's a certain emphasis and earnestness to the way she says those three words. As though trying to convey a gratitude to him that equates to about a whole two years worth.]

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