driftfleet | [muffled spooky scary skeletons playing in the distance]

I'm kind of applying Mr. Wright's school of thought to this situation. . .

[WHAT WOULD MR. WRIGHT DO IN THIS SITUATION--probably get knocked out, now that he thinks about it.

...

Shit.

When the second one appears, Apollo nods frantically.]

. . .slow, careful, steps backwards, Trucy. We'll just retrace our steps, and--[SNAP. Who just stepped on a convenient, loud, dry twig? THIS GUY. Turkeys are on high alert now.]

....Daddy can't hunt either, you know.

[ She stares back and forth between both turkeys and then Apollo. Slowly, she takes hold of his arm and gently begins to back away, tugging him backwards with him when he steps on that twig. Se hides a wince as both turkeys begin to scratch at the ground rather aggressively. ]

...

[ Nope. It's go time, as far as Trucy's concerned. She picks up a rock and throws it directly in between the two giant birds, not wanting to hit them of course, but it still makes them bristle up. The larger one that came into the clearing suddenly gobbles loudly and runs directly at the two humans.

It's at this point, the ominous screeching they'd heard earlier makes itself physically known. Another bird, far bigger than either turkey, dives down between the lawyer and magician, large talons extended as it suddenly swoops in and scoops up the charging turkey, flying off with it as if that was the plan the whole time.

Trucy simply stares, eyes wide, before her gaze moves to the remaining poultry. ]

Did... did that really just happen?!

[WHY WOULD YOU THROW A ROCK. Apollo's about to protest, but it's too late, that one charges. Apollo firmly keeps himself planted in front of Trucy, fists up as if that will help shield them, then stares in awe as the giant freaking space hawk swoops in to save the day. What!! Apollo just...points at it as it flies out.]

That. . .certainly did happen. Wait, if that turkey hadn't been there, would it have made off with us?!

[Well that's terrifying to think about. The other turkey just kind of gobbles awkwardly, taking in that its friend is now space hawk food. HOW CAN IT GO ON LIKE THIS? DID THESE HUMANS SUMMON IT?? It fluffs out its feathers and stamps the ground, offering some sort of bizarre turkey challenge at them.

. . .

Apollo is just sort of wishing Athena was here. She would have suplexed it by now.]

I think. . .I think it wants to fight.

[ LOOK I THOUGHT IT WOULD SPOOK THEM! The magician keeps a light grip on poor Apollo's arm, a little bit in awe because wow, nature! But on the other hand, wow, there's still one giant turkey left... ]

It's as though we're in the middle of a National Geographic documentary! Just with HUGE animals! Cool!

[ ...Except, other turkey. That's not very cool at all, and so she calms her temporary excitement quickly. ]

We don't want to fight this thing, Polly... it's a lot bigger than we are, we have to make it go away! We can either throw stuff at it, or... well, running I think would set it off even worse, right?

I'd rather be watching it from the comfort of home. . .

[UGH NATURE...the other turkey takes another challenging step forward, gobble-squawking and wings spread. Apollo shakes his head.]

Right. If you throw another rock, it's just going to get angry and chase us. We're screwed either way! Augh. . .

[What do they do THEY CAN'T DIE LIKE THIS ON UNIVERSAL TELEVISION. And also in general!! What would Phoenix do in this situation besides get knocked out. . .uh, he'd bluff and try to turn the situation around. This isn't court that wouldn't work, you can't just distract a turkey--wait.

. . .

!

SUDDENLY AN IDEA.]

Trucy! Do you have your knives, or cards, or anything?

I think I'd have to agree with you on that one...

[ At the turkeys step forward, she pulls Apollo another step backwards. Her gaze moves up to Apollo finally at his question, and she nods, because really first and foremost she's a magician. Within a few seconds, she's got multiple knives and cards in each hand, ready to go. ]

Yeah, of course. What's on your mind, Polly?

(This has got to work--!)

Alright! Trust me on this! I need you to run, and I'll go in the opposite direction. But when I give the signal, hit it with everything you got! It won't see it coming!

[Why won't it? And what is the signal?? Apparently he's not going to explain that part, not with Mr. Gobbles gearing up for a charge. Apollo frowns for a beat, and then--]

And if this doesn't work, it's fine, you keep running, okay?

Okay, no, I'm not going to keep running if this doesn't work! Polly, there's no way I'm going to leave you behind. I'll jump this thing myself before I do that, we're in this together just like we're in everything together, I promise. You... you just give me the signal!

[ Yeah, Apollo, what is that signal again? She's sure she'll be able to figure it out. Suddenly she's not so sure about this idea, because really, what if they get separated?? Well... she's always put her trust in Apollo, and now is no different. So she suddenly takes off running in the opposite direction of Apollo, glancing back at him and their feathered foe who... looks confused as to what they're doing.

Turkeys are, at least, not the smartest animal in the world. ]

I-I'll be fine, Trucy! We both will be! Alright--!

[Gosh dang people caring about him, now is not the time tear up, and not over a freaking turkey!! When Trucy takes off, so does he. He doesn't get far though, skidding to a stop on the opposing side of the turkey. He he takes a deep breath. . .and does literally the only thing lawyers are good for. YELLING.]

OBJECTION!!

[Not as ominous as a hawk's screech, but it's certainly as alarming and distracting, as the turkey swivels around, gobbling in angry confusion at Apollo. WHAT WAS THAT? IS THIS A TINY LOST RED CHICKEN HAWK??

But its back and tail feathers are exposed to Trucy, and fan out like a big ol' colorful Thanksgiving target. There's your signal.]

[ Trucy stops in a flash at Apollo's ear piercing yell of 'objection', and she's not as surprised as she should be that this is his master plan. She turns on a dime when the bird turns it's back to her, tail flared in anger, and she winces, feeling pretty guilty suddenly because she doesn't really wanna kill it but... ]

...Sorry, Mr. Turkey... [ With that, she's literally throwing knives and cards and at some point, even Mr. Hat goes flying at the large bird. But there's no suffering on the poultry's end, of course. She hits her mark every single time, and when the bird finally goes down, Trucy's out of breath from throwing those objects SO HARD that it's knocked the wind out of her. ]

...We did it? We did it! Good job, Polly!

[STOMP STOMP the turkey gobbles up to Apollo, and at first, he wonders if Trucy missed her mark. Could this be the end?? No, of course not, it lets out a surprised squawk before it fluffs up one more time, and then falls. It goes down so hard that a mass of feather fly up from it, immediately covering Apollo. Nice. One feather positions itself in such a way that it looks like he has three hair spikes.

But who cares!! It's down? IT'S DOWN. Hearing Trucy, Apollo runs over, picking her up and spinning, high off, you know, not being dead.]

W-we did it! I can't believe that actually worked!! Trucy, you're amazing!

Hahahaha--! I never want to do that ever again!!

[ She's so glad that Apollo didn't become Thanksgiving dinner, because for a moment she's not sure. Whe she sees him pop up from the feathers and fliff, though, she's beaming and running to meet him halfway, laughing when he picks her up and spins her around.

She happily throws her arms around him in return, pretty glad to have survived the space turkey experience. ]

Me? No way! You're the amazing one here, Polly! You're so smart, you're the one who did all the hard work! Good job!

[ She grins, reaching up to pluck a few feathers out of his hair. ]

[There are so many feathers!! He laughs, setting her down and rubbing at his head.]

Aha, all I did was yell a lot. . .! I'm glad you came prepared. [He looks to the turkey though--man, that's a big bird, hunting is not the same as fishing or catching lizards at all. He sighs.]

But I do feel kind of bad now. I think I'll leave this sort of thing to the professionals in the future, I'm not sure my heart can handle it.

. . .

We have to get it back somehow.

Well, I think we both did really well! We didn't die!

[ She turns to look at the turkey as well, sighing a little because THE GUILT IS REAL... but it's done and overy now. ]

I do, too... but only one way forward! As for getting it back... how much do you think this thing weighs? I'm not feeling morbid enough to hack it into pieces...

I'm not going to make you do that! No butchering outside of a kitchen! [Blaugh. He wonders if there are flash fryers. LETS JUST FRY THE ENTIRE THING. He walks over and. Tries to pick it up. Haha no, okay, he is dragging this sucker. Justice will prevail!!]

If Clay were here I bet he'd just haul it over his shoulder. B-but this is fine! I'll get it back! Let's just get the heck out of here before something even bigger shows up, or that hawk comes back.

I'm definitely not butchering this thing period, ewww... [ She doesn't even know how to cook ok she lives on prepackaged meals!

There's a slight tinge of amusement as she watches Apollo try to pick the turkey up to no avail, and she wanders over to help him. ]

He probably could, but I think between the two of us we can make it! I'll get one end and you take the other?

We'll get someone else to do it. Then we can eat normal, cold, turkey sandwiches like civilized people. [And by someone else he probably means Clay.]

--haa, fine, alright. I would prefer not throwing my back out at the tender age of twenty four. Let's do it.

[Two heads are definitely better than one. Lets dragging!! SIBLING HUNT, SUCCESS.]

What if it doesn't taste like turkey? Are we even still considered civilized after we massacred this thing? [ PRESSING QUESTIONS HERE APOLLO.

She moves to pick up the front of the turkey, yelping as the head flops onto her shoulder. ]

It's looking at me! [ She nudges the stupid head off of her shoulder with a huff, glad to at least be able to help him carry the dumb thing. ]

No throwing your back out, not while I'm around! [ WHAT A BONDING EXPERIENCE THIS WAS. ]

[muffled spooky scary skeletons playing in the distance]

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