001 // waitin' for the hammer to fall

[principality]

Who: Aziraphale
Broadcast: Fleet-Wide!
Action: Marsiva!
When: 2/20, afternoon

[He looks confused. Absolutely befuddled. He doesn't seem to know the communicator is broadcasting, either.]

-dreadful, absolutely dreadful! This is clearly not Earth, and I can't call up the higher-ups to ask them...

[He looks down, and gasps a little.]

Oh! OH! Good afternoon? Evening? Perhaps even morning? Greetings. I am a...er...previous resident of Earth- A. Ziraphale. And I would appreciate, er, directions back...to Earth...

That is, if this reaches anyone? Hello? Oh, bugger.

Comments

[onlyanapple]

I'm sure you'll be fine, angel. There's always a spot for the stuffy bloke, if only to watch him react to hilariously awkward situations.

[principality]

Stuff-

[He sighs a little.]

I'll have you know I'm far from a stuffy bloke. Just last week, I did something terribly illegal.

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley arches a brow, leaning closer to the screen. Really, Aziraphale, really? ]

And what, pray tell, was that?

[principality]

I...

[Here it was.]

...I jumped the queue getting a ticket for the Tube.

[onlyanapple]

[There is a long, long silence.

Follow by slow, sarcastic clapping.]

[principality]

That's...er...

...sarcastic clapping, isn't it?

[onlyanapple]

Oh look at that, you are getting better at this.

I'm so proud.

[principality]

I'd like to think that I've learned some things in six thousband years, dear.

[Aziraphale you're literally just getting better with sarcasm]

Er...regardless, Crowley, what do we do here? I assume we're still, you know, there's the whole ineffable plan and whatnot.

[onlyanapple]

Maybe in another six millennia you'll get it down pat.

I expect so. There's no Management, as it were. Best not deviate too much though, hmm? Though I've seen this as a quasi retirement, it's been a while since I was home.

[A while. Not a long time, not by their standards. It was a blink of the eye for them, really, but there it was. ]

[principality]

That sounds agreeable. Best to stick to what we know.

[So long as no one shows up from either side, they'll be fine. It balances out.]

[onlyanapple]

It worked in the last place I was at, just fine.

There are more than just humans here, though, just a little FYI. Some people are a little...outside our paygrade.

[principality]

O-oh...how so, exactly? Do you mean...more demons? Or...oh, heavens, not nephilim...

[Please not nephilim they were always a pain to try and deal with.]

[onlyanapple]

No nephilim yet. I checked for the creepy buggers already. We have a few demons, but they're not our sort of demon.

[Not that Crowley is really their sort of demon, either but still. ]

Most of them are a mish-mash of all sorts, from different worlds. We've got elves, a dwarf, whatever the fuck Tek is. Lots of things.

[principality]

...elves? Er...

[That is different.]

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley, rather racistly, puts his index fingers on either side of his ears. ]

Yeah, you know, elves.

[principality]

...heavens. Were those, I mean, were they umm...accounted for, in The Plan?

[onlyanapple]

I think we can safely say we're currently moving off The Plan.