001 // waitin' for the hammer to fall

[principality]

Who: Aziraphale
Broadcast: Fleet-Wide!
Action: Marsiva!
When: 2/20, afternoon

[He looks confused. Absolutely befuddled. He doesn't seem to know the communicator is broadcasting, either.]

-dreadful, absolutely dreadful! This is clearly not Earth, and I can't call up the higher-ups to ask them...

[He looks down, and gasps a little.]

Oh! OH! Good afternoon? Evening? Perhaps even morning? Greetings. I am a...er...previous resident of Earth- A. Ziraphale. And I would appreciate, er, directions back...to Earth...

That is, if this reaches anyone? Hello? Oh, bugger.

Comments

Video

[onlyanapple]

[Well, this isn't a face that he's seen in a while. Crowley is, of course, delighted to see Aziraphale again, but he is equally determined not to show it. So, instead, Aziraphale gets a half-hearted glance over whatever bottle of booze Crowley is currently enjoying. ]

It's not the second star to the right, if you're wondering.


'Lo, angel.

Video

[principality]

Crowley!

[He's happy to see him, but that also comes with a bit of suspicion.]

Do you have anything to do with this? Is it your people?

[onlyanapple]

Nah, Hell could never be this inventive. I'm not even convinced this is a human thing.

[principality]

You're right, it is lacking a bit of...you know, the whole nine yards, the screaming and wailing and the hellfire and whatnot. All of that business.

So, if it's not your people, and it's not people-people, then, er...this isn't Heaven's style. There would be considerably more harps.

[onlyanapple]

Exactly. It's nowhere near as messy enough.

I think it's...whoever is actually running this she-bang. They call themselves Atroma, but what Atroma even is no one can guess.

[He SMILES. It's not a nice one, it's the smile he pulls when he knows something is going to make the angel uncomfortable in a hilarious fashion.]

You're on TV, angel.

[principality]

I'm on...

[He gapes, mouth moving wordlessly like a fish out of water, which was entirely an apt metaphor.]

I'm...

[And then he finally says, quietly.]

...is it educational broadcasting?

[onlyanapple]

[Trust Aziraphale to go right to that hope. Crowley snorts, amused. ]

You remember that plan I have? Where they throw a bunch of random nobodies into a house, and lock them in for a couple months? Watch them slowly lose it twenty four seven?

It's kind of like that.


But in space.

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[ladiesss]

Wow... Have I got some bad news for you...

[says some teenage girl on the other end of the video feed...]

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[principality]

I...er...

[Quieter.]

...what is it?

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[ladiesss]

[...she was already practically whispering, so she doesn't have to try hard to match.]

You are noooot getting back to Earth any time soon.

Video

[principality]

Oh. Heavens.

[He looks pretty crestfallen.]

S-so where are we, exactly, in that case?

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[ladiesss]

[...she feels a little bad for the dude. sorry, dude.]

Not sure... exactly, in relation to the whole universe, or whatever, but we're in a star system with three moons. Pretty far away, I think.

Video

[principality]

...that can't be good.

Oh, oh dear. How can we get back?

action forever;

[mysterzie]

Higher-ups? Are you involved in this somehow?

[ Yeah, no, someone is here to say hi and he seems pretty interested in that mumbling you were doing, sir. also, if you could be so kind ]

Or... maybe an alien?

action hello friend

[principality]

I...no, decidedly not an alien. Er. Perfectly normal human.

[He's a bad liar even under the best of circumstances.]

hello hello

[mysterzie]

What's perfectly normal for you? Everyone here is all weird, nobody's the same.

[principality]

Oh, you know, all 10 fingers and 10 toes, that sort of thing.

[Definitely not with wings and causing miracles, or even human but with the power to warp reality and bring on Armageddon, nope.]

What do you mean, everyone here is weird?

[mysterzie]

Magic and reindeer and no powers.

[ Somehow that's the weirdest one. ]

[principality]

W-well, isn't that normal? I mean, to not have powers, that sort of thing, just to be an everyday normal human?

[He smiles a little hopefully.]

action

[mysunnydisposition]

[ Steph leaves him alone at first. She figures she should probably let people who have been here a little longer explain things to him - she certainly still doesn't have a clue what's going on. But eventually, when he's not talking to his communicator anymore, she gets up and wanders over, giving a little wave when she catches his attention. ]

Hey. Welcome to space.

Unless you've been to space before, I guess? You sounded like you might've. [ What with the whole request for directions back to earth. She's curious about how he was planning to achieve that, even if he knew the way. ]

action

[principality]

[He's sitting on a bunk, and he shakes his head, looking up at her.]

No, never been to space before, dear. I did watch a special on black holes last week, though. Do you think we'll need to worry about those out here? Oh, how dreadful if we do.

[mysunnydisposition]

...I hadn't really thought about it. I think the ship would probably have some way of detecting them before we actually ran into one...?

[ She actually has no idea and no actual reason for thinking this beyond occasionally watching scifi movies. Shhh. She's being reassuring here. ]

[principality]

Oh, goodness. I should certainly hope so!

[And then he smiles a little.]

Er....forgive me, what is your name, dear?

[mysunnydisposition]

Oh! Sorry, it's Stephanie.

And you were... I'm sorry, I didn't really catch your name. [ Mostly because it did not sound like a name to her, and she's not sure she heard it right. ]

[principality]

Umm...Ziraphale. A. Ziraphale. It's, erm, it's an old name.

[And then he gives her the best smile he can manage.]