[Closed]

[exothermia]

Who: Erik, Charles and Raven
Broadcast: N/A
Action: a birthday on the Iskaulit
When: November 3rd

It was some time in the early morning, between fits of sleep, that Erik realised he was fifty-three. He had known it was coming for days, in the back of his mind, but it strikes him suddenly when he wakes from another unremembered dream and knows it must be nearly morning. The knowledge sinks into him like a stone, having broken the surface just as suddenly. It doesn't take long for the grief and loneliness to seize his heart again, always waiting for a moment to strike. He curls up under his blanket in the dark and wills himself to be silent, unseen.

His last birthday had been a happier affair. They were never grand or exuberant, but he didn't need or want them to be. Having a family to celebrate with was gift enough to Erik's mind. He vividly remembers the paper party hats Nina had made for the three of them to wear, the breakfast Magda had served up before he had to go to work. It was shocking to think he'd almost become used to it, after those initial few years where he hadn't been the most receptive to Magda's insistence that they do something. Even just a dinner.

Now he was to have his birthday in outer space, far from Earth and where his family lay beneath it. It was hardly worth acknowledging... just like all the years before they'd entered his life. His broken heart begs to differ, though, so he has to give it its due.

After a while, he wipes his face and gets up. Charles wants to spend time with him today, so he sets about having an early shower and shave (down to faint stubble, at the least). Another couple of hours listening to the terrible music the communicators have on offer, in the company of his fluff slug, was enough to settle his turbulent feelings into something manageable.

By the time Charles knocks on his door and they head to the Iskaulit, he's put himself back together.

Comments

[axiomed]

[ His smile remains. ]

Which is fine too. But if something comes to mind, let me know.

[exothermia]

This is already more than I could ask for.

[axiomed]

[ Charles surveys him. ]

That doesn't mean you can't ask.

[exothermia]

[He knows that... in theory. In practice, it's much harder, not least of which because he doesn't tend to ask for much at all. Erik rubs at his chin slightly, pushing the fork around his plate with a finger.]

I know. I'll let you know. [His glance lands on the drinks, and he tilts his head in that direction.] What are those?

[axiomed]

Alcohol. Some wine and vodka. Nothing special, I'm afraid.

[exothermia]

Does it need to be? [After consideration he takes the wine bottle.] I don't habitually have either of them, so they're uncommon enough.

[axiomed]

Some things should be special.

[ He leaves it at that though. ] I'll pour you a glass.

[exothermia]

[Erik pauses, before handing the bottle over to Charles instead.]

Sometimes it's the act that makes it special, instead.

[axiomed]

Or the people.

[ He dutifully pours the wine into the glass before handing it back to Erik. ]

[exothermia]

[Erik takes it with a murmur of thanks, eyeing the liquid in the glass. What they're doing here, for all that it's simple, is raised to the level of special because of what it means. It has to be evident.]

We could play chess, later.

[axiomed]

[ He blinks before softening. ]

Certainly.

[exothermia]

[As far as things to do go, it's not original. But it can carry that specialness with it, from the act to the people. Erik smiles slightly, a little more at ease.]

Great. I might even win this time.

[axiomed]

I have full faith in your abilities to do so.

[exothermia]

My game hasn't been at its best lately. [He'd lost the last three games, which is enough to be annoying. Too distracted, he knows, but he does have some pride at stake in holding his own in matches against Charles.] I don't intend to let it stay that way.

[axiomed]

[ Charles only raises his eyebrows at Erik's challenge. ]

I look forward to a real challenge then.

[exothermia]

That is the idea. [It may not always happen in practice, but Erik will give it his all. He sips at his wine glass, quiet for a while.]

[axiomed]

[ Erik almost sounds like himself, Charles thinks before he takes a sip as well. ]

[exothermia]

It's strange. To think about being in a place like this, on a day like today.

[He knows it's strange no matter which day it is, but in this moment it feels especially surreal. To be in space, with friends, and have it acknowledged despite all the things going on around them. He wouldn't have expected it a few months ago. Then again, his expectations have never tallied with reality.]

[axiomed]

[ There's little point in asking why when Charles knows the answer. ]

It shouldn't be.

[exothermia]

Can you really say you expected to ever spend a birthday in space?

[Because Charles had had one here as well, months (and years) ago.]

[axiomed]

No.

[ But his tone is gentle. ]

Is that the part you found strange?

[exothermia]

[He doesn't shy from meeting Charles's gaze.]

It's part of it. But I've never been used to them.

[It's a slight exaggeration. He knows that once upon a time, when he was a boy, birthdays wouldn't have struck him as out of the ordinary. But he doesn't remember those days very well, when he remembers them at all. The years with Magda and Nina are fresher, yet carried the same sense of strangeness every time they came out to wish him a happy birthday. It all served to hold a mirror up to what he considered the usual way of things - no acknowledgement, from himself or anyone else.]

[axiomed]

[ He doesn't need to ask why. ]

Every once in a while, it's good to celebrate the day of birth.

[exothermia]

There wasn't much to celebrate, most of the time.

[A huge chunk of his life had been empty of affection or relationships. Even if he marked the day himself, it had been quietly, on his own. He hadn't even rightly known how many birthdays he had while he was in the Pentagon cell until he saw a newspaper upon coming out. It had never struck him as particularly lamentable until Magda demanded, after a year of knowing him, to know when the date was.]

[axiomed]

[ He sighs quietly. ]

Once in a while then. Just to remember.