driftfleet | Captain's Log 04 - Laughter Is the Best Medicine

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Captain's Log 04 - Laughter Is the Best Medicine

Who: Kirk + YOU!
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Tourist if you want to come find him
When: Nov. 19

Hello, my fellow Drifters. For those who don't know me, I'm Jim Kirk - captain of the Tourist.

It seems like everyone's been kind of down lately, so I thought we might try something to lift the mood. They do say laughter is the best medicine after all.

_{[ He's totally expecting Bones to have a quip for that. Just waiting for it. ]}

So I thought I would start with a story from my early captain years on my ship, the Enterprise. Specifically, how I actually got on her in the first place.

Short backstory short, we were being mustered to see to a distress call from planet Vulcan, only I had been grounded due to some technical, ethical review business. Insisting I needed to be on the ship, I found our newest senior medical officer, Bones, and he agreed to help me on.

How, might you ask?

Well, he proceeded to inject me with a vaccine for an alien disease I did not need, and it temporarily made me ill. I am told I looked and sound loopy and or terribly drunk. Well, Bones got me on and took me to med bay to undo the damage of the vaccine by injecting me with more of them. To which I had delightful reactions - passing out, numb tongue, and my hands swelling. And when I say swelling - I mean they looked like cartoon gloves on a friendly animated character kind of swelling. It was like having two blown up surgical gloves for hands.

_{[ He waves his hands up in front of his face, back and forth, to help you visualize of course. ]}

It all turned out okay in the end, but that is the story of how I first got on the Enterprise - which I am now the captain of.

_{[ There's an upbeat message beneath that, surely. ]}

Now - who's next?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So basically, you got really lucky.

I never said I didn't. Luck is part of it sometimes.

Is that code for 'usually'?

No, not usually. Why the interrogation method all of a sudden?

We don't usually talk about you, I'm interested.

Hmm, I guess that's true. Right, well, ask away then.

Okay! What's the deal with that technical ethical review? Were you always bossy, or did that come with the captaining? What's your crew like? What's your favorite thing about space? Who do you think would win in a fight, a bear that could go underwater, or a shark that could go on land? Would you rather never space-travel again, or fleet-travel forever?

[ notice how you didn't put any restrictions on his questions there, jim. ]

_{[ Damn it, he knew that was coming, but he might as well own up to
that, right? ]}

I hacked a test - the Kobayashi Maru. I was brought up on ethical charges for cheating and failure to understand the purpose for the test, and also probably for not following command, but the whole thing got interrupted and eventually dismissed.

I am not bossy, I a leader, thank you.

They're amazing, all 400 of them.

That there's always something else to discover.

Ah... okay, that's an interesting one, but I say shark due to sheer ability to rend through flesh.

And for that last one - I think Fleet travel forever. I don't think I could handle not being on a ship, exploring the universe. At least here I'm sort of doing that rather than being stuck behind a desk, or on a planet in general.

_{[ He takes a breath. ]}

Is that all?

Have you met me? [ of course it's not all, he could keep asking questions until he's dead. ]

How'd you hack it? Was it a hard hack or are they one of those honor-code easy to cheat institutions?

[ he's supposed to be outraged or something? what? talk to him when you commit treason by hacking a top secret government agency from your laptop.

and yeah, he's got so many more questions but for the moment, his professional curiosity is piqued by the word 'hacked'. ]

No, I had a virus set up to be delivered via an email trojan when opened using the program's system. It re-wrote the program live, changing some of the parameters. The actual program was designed by a Vulcan, and they're a very tech savvy race, so it wasn't exactly full of holes.

_{[ He's a not a professional hacker by any means, but he's pretty good
with programs and tech, always had been. He went to school for it,
actually. ]}

WHY HAVE WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT THIS.

[ his voice gets to a high, excited pitch, and his eyes go wide and look at that smile he just wants to geek out with you forever now. ]

What was your toughest hack? Did the email trojan get you caught? Making sure they get opened can also lead to making them too familiar, it's a tough balance to get right.

Because you never invite me to those little sessions I know you have with Cisco and Hank.

_{[ And there you go, this is your fault for being rude. ]}

Yes, it is safe to assume I got caught because I was put on trial for it.

_{[ Trial was a weird word for it, but it was close enough. An inquiry,
really. ]}

I know you got caught, the question was how.

[ wow he's not an idiot, no need to be rude just because you're salty! ]

Dude, I geeked out with you before they were even here so don't you shift blame, if you wanna join us all you had to do was say so, you know you're always welcome! You and Hank can take turns being the responsible adult.

I was the one in the captain's chair when the virus hit during the simulation and video records show I was clearly expecting it from my mannerisms. It wasn't hard to determine that I was behind it, or if nothing else had masterminded it.

'Responsible adult' sounds like an amazing time.

Ahh, so you were cocky. Yeah, that makes sense.

[ nodding. ]

This is where I point out my girlfriend doesn't give me this hard a time. [ s i g h ] Jim, we'd love it if you hang out with us, completely adult free, but you don't get to complain if anything goes boom.

I would argue, but at the time - very true.

No, she gives you a hard time about other things. We split duties, you see.

_{[ He's joking. ]}

Thank you for the invite, very kind of you.

I always knew you guys were in cahoots.

[ no really, sometimes it almost feels like they share a brain, jim would mention something and kitty would press the point, or the other way around. ]

You should have known that from the start.

_{[ Not really, but eh, he's about playing it up - why not? ]}

And this is why Cisco and Hank are easier to hang with.

Now now, you know I do it with love in my heart.

Sorry bro, still not my type.

[ are you really sure you love him? he's kind of a brat. ]

It's all right, I've gotten over my crush.

I think that calls for a drink. I've got some fun projects to tinker with too, wanna join me?

[ he's working on a few silly fun side-projects at the moment, to keep his mind from going anywhere too dark with all the recent disappearances. ]