mystery science theater: drift fleet edition

[huaaaaagh]

Who: Kirito and whoever!
Broadcast: Yes!
Action: on the Iskaulit
When: 11/20


[The video loads to show Kirito only, waving awkwardly at the camera.]

Okay, confession- I'm not great with other languages. Whatever's going on with the planet is a total write-off for me, so I've been working on something else in the meantime. Finally finished it, so...

[He turns the camera around, revealing an Iskaulit room remodeled to look like a theater- the walls painted dark, speakers rigged around a fabric screen that spans the entire far wall, and the rest of the floor is furnished with identical plush-and-wood chairs. At the back there is a projector, with a cord running up under the camera of the comm.]

Movie theater, as requested. The projector can connect directly to any communicator, and will automatically access whatever's on the network. I'm working on getting a wireless system going, but one thing at a time.

And I guess the interdimensional viewers thought we were running dry on content and took pity on us, so this was conveniently timed.

[He rolls the camera back around to reveal a sponsor drop box, which contains a few piles of smaller boxes, each decorated with a cover worthy of making some kind of worst Sci-Fi original movie list. They're all parodies, and most of them look terrible. There's even some video games.]

"Tornadoe"... "Og the Vaguely Imposing"... "Mule Lord"... yeah, I can't vouch for the quality, but if you're bored of what we've already got and the thought of watching Spirits Within one more time makes you wanna punch a hole in the wall, it's. Well. Better than nothing?

Anyway, it's open to the public if you want to use it!


(( feel free to use this as a theater mingle if anyone wants to come and watch movies! Kirito will be around for any and all technical difficulties, and will of course respond to network comments. he may bother visitors, or he may not. go wild! ))

Comments

[huaaaaagh]

[Aha! Just the girl he was looking for.]

I don't know about brilliant, but with a title like that, it's gotta be an experience. Come on over, we can watch both if you want.

[flickerflash]

Okay!

[That's it, she's off the feed before she even finishes getting the word out. You can expect a small child arriving at the theatre in ten minutes tops, probably.]

[huaaaaagh]

[He's sort of fine-tuning the equipment when she arrives, pointlessly fiddling with it for the millionth time. It works fine, he's just nitpicky.]

Oh, hey. Ready for some proper entertainment?

[flickerflash]

I'm sure I could stand to wait a little longer.

[Says the girl who wastes no time hopping into a seat and swinging her legs underneath it.]

[huaaaaagh]

Well, in that case, I'll just go ahead and throw on some video games for a couple hours, instead.

[Says the guy who then wanders over to hold out his communicator with the videos queued - one Princess Bride, one Og the Vaguely Imposing - so she can choose.]

[flickerflash]

[Og the Vaguely Imposing does sound amusing as hell, but she really wants Kirito to see The Princess Bride-- it's a tragedy he hasn't already! So it doesn't take much time before she giggles and taps at the screen so they're on board with dread pirates and terrible princes.]

If you don't like it, we can always switch, I suppose.

[She doesn't doubt for a second he'll like it. Because she's a kid, but shh.]

[huaaaaagh]

I'm sure it's fine.

[Even if he doesn't love it, it's almost certainly going to be better than the disaster that is Og. Or anything else in that box, for that matter.

Either way, he plops himself into one of the seats beside her, tugging a bag up from the side and holding it open for her. It's basically full of candy.]

Courtesy of that game room the Atroma set up. Want some?

[flickerflash]

[....holy shit that's a lot of candy. She's kind of distracted for a moment, looking at him with hopeful surprise.]

They set up a game room? Where?

[SOMEONE MISSED THE BOAT.]

[huaaaaagh]

[Oh, geez.]

Uhh... just recently? There's an open section of the Marsiva now. You can play little carnival -type games and win prizes there, and an open buffet of sweets. It's where I got the candy- and this.

[He holds up his hand and gives it a wiggle, upon which there now gleams a little golden ring.]

[flickerflash]

[What? Games? Sweets? She never saw it? That's so rude!

...but hold on-- she stares at the ring, and then back at Kirito.]

You got married up there? Who to?

[Uh, no.]

[huaaaaagh]

[jkdshfjkdhgdfg]

What!? No! I was already married, I just got my ring!

[Wait, is that better? That's not better, is it.]

[flickerflash]

Oh. [She looks disappointed for a moment, and then stiffens to look at him curiously.]

What do you mean, you just got your ring? [That sounds shady af.]

[huaaaaagh]

I didn't have it when I got here. They were giving it away as some kind of prize for playing the games they had set up there. It was pretty stupid, overall- having to win something that's mine, but it's par for the course with the Atroma at this point.

[flickerflash]

That's very rude. Wedding rings are terribly important!

[She bristles, but in the end her curiosity reverts back around to its first point--]

When did you get married? Who to?

[huaaaaagh]

Hah... it was just over a year before I got here. Her name's Asuna, and she's the strongest and most beautiful girl I've ever met.

[/HUMBLE BRAG ABOUT HIS SUPER-COOL WIFE]

[flickerflash]

The very strongest? [Her eyes light up.] How strong? Can she pick you up?

[huaaaaagh]

She totally can. One day she carried me all the way home from the beach.

[A promise is a promise, even if it was delivered a few days after the fact.]

[flickerflash]

[Kirito you've married a superhero.]

Why is she so strong? Is she really tall? Does she go to the gym? Is she secretly a giant? What's she like?

[GOSSIP WITH ME]

[huaaaaagh]

[he would not disagree with that assessment, tbh.]

Let's see... she's just a little bit shorter than me, so no, she's not a giant. She does work out, though! She trains a lot, so her strength stat is top-notch.

[He's mostly talking about her in-game avatar, but the truth is she could probably carry him IRL, too.]

And she's... well, she's amazing. She's super smart- she does way better in school than I do, and she could probably get into any college or uni she wants once she graduates. She's stubborn, and she never gives up once she's decided on something. And she's kind, someone anyone would love and get along with. I know I'm really lucky to be with her. ...Oh, here--

[He fishes another comm out of his pocket- or rather, a real phone. He flips through it for a moment, then holds it out, showing a photo.]

This is her.

[flickerflash]

[Oh, she's pretty. Doesn't look that strong, though, but then again if anyone knows looks can be deceiving...she grins. You're babbling more than she does, Kirito, it's really kind of cute. Not to mention glamour-laced.]

How did you meet?

[huaaaaagh]

[Speaking of.]

We were trapped together in a death game a couple of years ago.

[Which he didn't mean to say. He doesn't usually say that. KIDS SHOULDN'T HEAR ABOUT THAT.]

[flickerflash]

[It's cool it's cool people tell her this kind of thing

...though this kind of thing is not cool.]

Death game? Like a horror movie?

[huaaaaagh]

No, like... a game where your HP is literally your life. If you die in-game, you die for real.

[Stooooop, what are you doing, you idiot.]

[flickerflash]

[........dude that is the opposite of okay. She looks alarmed, but that was a couple of years ago so he's okay, right?]

Who made you play such a horrid game? I hope you hurt him.

[huaaaaagh]

[Mostly okay! Trauma fades over time, so that's a good thing.]

I chose to play it. We didn't know it was that kind of game when we started. The man who started it all is dead, though.