🍭 ００５ ｜ ｔｅｘｔ

[benames]

Yo fleeters -

Can I just say I'm like 95% relieved we left Planet Creeperfuck and its creepy as fuck messages behind? I say 95% because there's a legit 5% chance that the moment I relax will be the moment I get eaten.

I actually have a few other things to bring up except for alien movie tropes:

1. thumbs up to everyone who came to the winnsco halloween party. major thumbs up to those who stayed to help us clean up.

2. superheroes, enhanced humans, friendly, gorgeous alien ladies ( sup kara ) and other supereverythings - I have a bone to pick with you regarding a creepily fast hologram of a creepily fast creepily-everything speedster from my world. I want to make sure that if he comes here, we're not doomed so if you want to practice your moves, I'm your man.

regular humans are always invited but lemme tell you, it's pointless to shoot at a speedster and also I think hank has a rule about no bullets on our ship.

3. I have started preparing for my first ever Space Christmas. if you need twinkle lights or other engineered decorations, I'm at the blameless, you can come and order some. free of charge if your'e willing to help.

4. yes, there will be space engineered mistletoe. no, you don't get a choice where it goes. yes, I have spies everywhere. yes, it will give you a minor electric shock if you try to remove it. yes, I will know about it.

Comments

[benames]

4. what do you have against mistletoe?

it's a symbol of the holiday!

[beathach]

4. Being forced to kiss because of it. Or forced to tell a secret or share a memory.

Christmas trees are symbols of the holiday. Mistletoe is optional.

[benames]

4. dude my mistletoe will not be using force. for kissing or. secrets. or memories or anything.

that's just creepy.

[beathach]

I don't think yours will do that, but I'm still very against being anywhere near it.

[benames]

don't worry, I got ya

when did you even see that creepy mistletoe?

[beathach]

The other world I went to.

[benames]

Is it possible that it sucked more than this one? I mean, here, the food sucks and 70% of everything is creepy but still.

normal mistletoe.

[beathach]

I can assure you that it sucked 100% more than this place. Ask anyone who's been there, they'll agree.

Still against mistletoe, normal or not.

[benames]

fine fine I'll keep the mistletoe away from you, mr grinch.

[beathach]

I'm not a grinch, I love Christmas. It's one tiny part I don't like.

[benames]

i'm kidding

you can be santa :>

[beathach]

I am too tall, too skinny, and not jolly enough to be Santa.

[benames]

well I can't be santa I'm super short.

[beathach]

Surely someone else can do the role justice.

[benames]

I can't really see raven volunteering, can you?

[beathach]

I can't see it, either. Maybe we can nominate Kaito.

[Hank no]

[benames]

uh

how about no

[beathach]

Why not?