goldenglasses: (I just stepped in WHAT?!)
Vash the Stampede ([personal profile] goldenglasses) wrote in [community profile] driftfleet2016-12-24 09:44 am

(no subject)

Who: Vash and the WOOORLD
Broadcast: To everyone!
Action: On the Planet
When: Right now!

[Vash was on the planet trying out some ice skates he had bought. He was bundled up in extra clothes and is carefully sliding around on a patch of ice he's found. He tried to find a place where he can fall without bothering too many people, but he's not exactly out in the middle of no where either.

He's shaky and the balance is something that takes a bit for him to get use to, but he's slowly getting the hang of it. He had kept his communicator on him just in case he managed to seriously hurt himself while learning how to skate. Of course, if he knew what would happen at one point when he falls he might have been okay dying in the cold as the communicator takes one bump too many.]


Accidental Audio

OW! Ieieie. That really-

"Oh! Xabio! I'm yours forever and always!" [Suddenly there's a lusty female voice that clearly doesn't belong to Vash.] "Just, please, be gentle. It's- It's my first time."

AAWAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Oh, shit! [There's Vash again as he screeches loudly in panic! Followed by muffled scrapping as he fumbles at trying to get at his communicator. Meanwhile the audio book keeps on going clear as day for all to hear.]

Asstrostar's two tongues lick her luscious lips nervously as one of Xabio's six muscular arms reaches out to gently caress the soft purple skin of her cheek.
[A male narrator voice helpfully sets the scene.]

"My love. I would never hurt you."

She feels a tingle in her gills and a warmth spread through her that she has never felt before as Xabio's other arms tickle their way under her protective outer shell. Reaching places no one else had ever explored on her before. Asstrostar moans deeply, but it's muffled-


No! No! No! No! Stop! Oh man, oh man, oh MAN!

-as Xabio's presses his lips against her own. She wraps her arms tightly around him. All the troubles of the nebula wars disappear and it no longer mattered that their home worlds were on opposing sides. All that mattered was their love for each other. And Asstrostar knew that Xabio loved her as well. She could feel it as he pressed his body against her own and his large, warm, throbbing-CLICK!

[Suddenly everything goes quiet except for Vash's heavy breathing from his panicked scramble to get his glove off and extra clothing unzipped to turn the thing off.] Phew! Thank goodness no one was arou-- eh?

[Is this thing saying broadcast?]






Oh crap.
wolfehawke: (smug)

Video

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-06 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Uh-huh.

[Adalwolfe leans his chin on one hand, not believing for a moment that this isn't the sort of literature Vash reads all the time.]

Really though, I don't think you should be embarrassed about it at all. So you like smutty books, so what?
wolfehawke: (soft smile)

Video

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-10 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[You're in luck Vash, Thedas doesn't have that idiom either. Yet. Varric will probably invent it soon.

Adalwolfe smiles a bit more gently at that.]


Nothing embarrassing about that either. That's one of the reasons I read those books too. Happy endings are so few in life, it's nice to at least get to read about them.
wolfehawke: (I see what you did there)

Video

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-12 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh yeah? I'd love to. I picked up a couple at the last waystation too, though uh. One of them might make a Chantry sister weep. The other is more romance though. We can do a swap.
wolfehawke: (Sheepish)

[personal profile] wolfehawke 2017-01-16 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Do you want to borrow a book or not?

[He looks amused, but Vash has a tendency to babble a bit to himself. He's got to keep them on track or the whole point of the conversation will be lost.]