driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: Vash and the WOOORLD
Broadcast: To everyone!
Action: On the Planet
When: Right now!

[Vash was on the planet trying out some ice skates he had bought. He was bundled up in extra clothes and is carefully sliding around on a patch of ice he's found. He tried to find a place where he can fall without bothering too many people, but he's not exactly out in the middle of no where either.

He's shaky and the balance is something that takes a bit for him to get use to, but he's slowly getting the hang of it. He had kept his communicator on him just in case he managed to seriously hurt himself while learning how to skate. Of course, if he knew what would happen at one point when he falls he might have been okay dying in the cold as the communicator takes one bump too many.]

Accidental Audio

OW! Ieieie. That really-

"Oh! Xabio! I'm yours forever and always!" [Suddenly there's a lusty female voice that clearly doesn't belong to Vash.] "Just, please, be gentle. It's- It's my first time."

AAWAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Oh, shit! [There's Vash again as he screeches loudly in panic! Followed by muffled scrapping as he fumbles at trying to get at his communicator. Meanwhile the audio book keeps on going clear as day for all to hear.]

Asstrostar's two tongues lick her luscious lips nervously as one of Xabio's six muscular arms reaches out to gently caress the soft purple skin of her cheek. [A male narrator voice helpfully sets the scene.]

"My love. I would never hurt you."

She feels a tingle in her gills and a warmth spread through her that she has never felt before as Xabio's other arms tickle their way under her protective outer shell. Reaching places no one else had ever explored on her before. Asstrostar moans deeply, but it's muffled-

No! No! No! No! Stop! Oh man, oh man, oh MAN!

-as Xabio's presses his lips against her own. She wraps her arms tightly around him. All the troubles of the nebula wars disappear and it no longer mattered that their home worlds were on opposing sides. All that mattered was their love for each other. And Asstrostar knew that Xabio loved her as well. She could feel it as he pressed his body against her own and his large, warm, throbbing-CLICK!

[Suddenly everything goes quiet except for Vash's heavy breathing from his panicked scramble to get his glove off and extra clothing unzipped to turn the thing off.] Phew! Thank goodness no one was arou-- eh?

[Is this thing saying broadcast?]

Oh crap.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...]

Um well... no.

But it probably fades to black? At least I hope so.

[My, she likes how red he's going.]

I repeat what I said about written form.

Fine. Fine. Don't try out new things. I got it. [He's being overly dramatic, but he's just a bit upset that this is how his first attempt at an audio book turned out.]

[Eyeroll.] Cry me a river, Vash. If you're listening to your maybe-porn make sure it's in a private setting. It's not that hard.

[Don't tempt him. He will try and he can put on the water works for ages if he must.]

I didn't mean for that to broadcast. I was listening to it a little bit each night.

[He'll only do it once with Nami before he realises that will probably just get decked a lot :D]

Yeah? In the privacy of your own bunk?

Well, yeah, I didn't want to bother anyon-WAIT! I don't mean because of I was embarrassed or anything! Just you know! The out of the way not bothering people kind of... not bother... you know?

So you're not embarrassed about reading porn? Good to know! What a healthy young man you are.

I'M NOT EMBARRASSED BECAUSE I DON'T READ PORN!

At least not on purpose.

[Just laughing at you.] Whatever you say.

I do say. So yeah.

And I got to go. [Mostly so he can have the last word.]

Yeah, I understand. Need your privacy and all.

[GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.]

[Vash sputters as if about to come back with a snide remark and then thinks better of it. In the end nothing more than sputters comes out and he just hangs up.]