driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: Vash and the WOOORLD
Broadcast: To everyone!
Action: On the Planet
When: Right now!

[Vash was on the planet trying out some ice skates he had bought. He was bundled up in extra clothes and is carefully sliding around on a patch of ice he's found. He tried to find a place where he can fall without bothering too many people, but he's not exactly out in the middle of no where either.

He's shaky and the balance is something that takes a bit for him to get use to, but he's slowly getting the hang of it. He had kept his communicator on him just in case he managed to seriously hurt himself while learning how to skate. Of course, if he knew what would happen at one point when he falls he might have been okay dying in the cold as the communicator takes one bump too many.]

Accidental Audio

OW! Ieieie. That really-

"Oh! Xabio! I'm yours forever and always!" [Suddenly there's a lusty female voice that clearly doesn't belong to Vash.] "Just, please, be gentle. It's- It's my first time."

AAWAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Oh, shit! [There's Vash again as he screeches loudly in panic! Followed by muffled scrapping as he fumbles at trying to get at his communicator. Meanwhile the audio book keeps on going clear as day for all to hear.]

Asstrostar's two tongues lick her luscious lips nervously as one of Xabio's six muscular arms reaches out to gently caress the soft purple skin of her cheek. [A male narrator voice helpfully sets the scene.]

"My love. I would never hurt you."

She feels a tingle in her gills and a warmth spread through her that she has never felt before as Xabio's other arms tickle their way under her protective outer shell. Reaching places no one else had ever explored on her before. Asstrostar moans deeply, but it's muffled-

No! No! No! No! Stop! Oh man, oh man, oh MAN!

-as Xabio's presses his lips against her own. She wraps her arms tightly around him. All the troubles of the nebula wars disappear and it no longer mattered that their home worlds were on opposing sides. All that mattered was their love for each other. And Asstrostar knew that Xabio loved her as well. She could feel it as he pressed his body against her own and his large, warm, throbbing-CLICK!

[Suddenly everything goes quiet except for Vash's heavy breathing from his panicked scramble to get his glove off and extra clothing unzipped to turn the thing off.] Phew! Thank goodness no one was arou-- eh?

[Is this thing saying broadcast?]

Oh crap.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh yeah. Well, that ripping from limb to limb sounds just pleasant.

I'll just avoid all dinosaurs for now I think is the best course of action. [And find one to step on his communication device.]

Are you sure? Some of them are very small and cute. Frilly necks and all.

Depends. Are the small, cute ones vegetarians?

They spit. And melt your face off. And then eat you at their leisure.

Oh, well, if that's all I think I'll still avoid dinosaurs.

Now, Vash. Be nice! You'll hurt their feelings.

Well, they hurt me if they bite. That and they broke my hammock. [The horror!]

I'm sure they didn't mean to. Perhaps they chased after you to apologise.

They would have done better to buy me a new hammock. That was a nice hammock too and I didn't even get to try it!

Think of it as a worthy donation to the society of raptors attempting to civilise themselves.

But they didn't even use it either! Just ripped it to shreds!

Everyone has to start somewhere! I bet you ripped plenty of things to shreds as a child.

Not that I can remember. [He may just be pouting now.]

Why, was childhood so very long ago?

Feel like it some days.

[He should bite his tongue, but he can't help himself.] Was it for you? [Ms. 6-years-old-one-day-and-then-adult-the-next.]

Feels like centuries, some days.

[Excuse you she was nine.]

[Same thing!]

See, my point exactly. It's centuries when it comes to dinosaurs ripping up my hammock before I can try it!

I don't think we were talking about dinosaurs ripping your hammocks up centuries ago.

No, they didn't, but childhood feels like centuries ago to me so I can't remember what it's like to be a child in order to forgive them. At least in this case.