driftfleet | video.

Who: Mr. Jarvis and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!

[The video begins with a fellow in a well-pressed suit and a carefully adjusted tie, all befitting someone who puts the most care into looking a well-kept part in society. His poor hair could do with some pomade - it hangs a bit, droops like a wilted leaf on his forehead, but otherwise he's made sure to keep his dignity in the wake of this... horrible event. He's been clearly kidnapped. Kidnapped! He prays Miss Carter is safe somewhere; the last thing he remembers is being hit with a tranquilizer, but he can't seem to remember if it had been a terribly dangerous affair. Didn't they have the assailant in their trunk? Oh, what a beast the man had been. He will attempt to keep his composure regardless. It's his job.]

While I appreciate that you've let me keep my reading glasses, I'm afraid I won't be broken in by such... backwards methods. Whoever you are and wherever you have... taken me, I can assure you that you've chosen a terrible person to kidnap and that kindness will earn you nothing of use. I'm just the butler; a chauffeur, and I'll have little to offer you, unless you would like to learn how to properly fold any and all manner of clothing.

... Or how to properly prepare a dining table.

[I imagine nothing of that sort will interest you, you're probably all thuggish barbarians.]

If you think you'll get anything at all from me otherwise — well!

[He folds his arms, and though he's concerned for his health in the future (god please don't murder me whoever you people are), he is doing his best impression of an impassive, dry-witted butler. As always. He doesn't sell it perfectly, but at least he's selling it, and that's what matters. Look how tough and unbreakable I am. Can't hurt a butler when he's down.]

You're sorely mistaken.

[........ brb fumbling now]

How do I turn this thing off?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

.... What is to say that washing windows is not dangerous?

Some are very high, after all.

I get that you're trying to keep a secret, but can't you put a little more effort into it than that?

Hardly a secret kept! I served in the military before I had become a butler.

My life had been far more perilous, once upon a time.

Oh, a military man! So you are far more than just a butler.

Not particularly. My work in the military is not much different from my job now.

And it is something I have no plans on returning to.

[Nnnnnnot that he ever could. Worth it, though.]

If you're implying it could offer my captives anything more, I'm afraid I'm still as useless as ever to whatever plans they may have. I'm firmly uncooperative on the matter. Are you someone of interest for them, or just as resistant?

I'm neither. I don't feel like putting forth the effort to be resistant, but I'm no one special anymore. I've moved past my youthful indiscretions and now am simply a good wife, that's all!

That's the spirit! And a familiar goal in life.I yearn to be the best husband I can be. Don't doubt how special you are, though; wives are a precious and wonderful thing, someone in your life who gives it vibrancy and makes it all so very worthwhile.

[OH NO HE'S A SAP, HEADING INTO SAPLAND.]

[oh no

Oh no he's cute]

That's right! As expected of a good husband, you understand well! True love is more important than anything else in the world, and that love can overcome anything, even such pretty barriers as species or death! And that kind of love will surely come one day, right? Right!

[OUR LOVE OF OUR SPOUSES WILL POWER THE SHIP.

He is so very distracted by his sweet Ana fluttering about in his mind.]

I cannot find much to regret in my life, if it meant leading me to my dearest. I found I had not known true happiness before I had met her... If I may be so sentimental. [He gives a little smile.] I suspect I'll be quite homesick.

By all means, be sentimental. Is this wife of yours not here, either?

[She notices that he didn't seem to pay much attention to the more odd parts of her speech. She definitely wants to know more about this guy.]

[That'd be Mr. Jarvis, not at all digsting the 'species' thing.

Because that would be weird. Yes, very weird. Clearly he misheard.]

Fortunately not; I would not want her taken into such a situation.

Home is a much better option, though I'm not excited to be without her.

That's true... It must be rather different. To wish for one's husband to be here is far different than one's wife, isn't it? Though I wonder if you won't change your mind eventually.

True enough, if your husband is one for physical strength. While the fleet seems... relatively safe, we're still captured, and I won't have my dearest in any sort of harm's way.

... Has it been relatively safe altogether?

No, no. When it comes to physical strength, even I would have the upper hand, but that doesn't matter! When it comes to commanding battles, she's the strongest magus in the world!

[... she's very pointedly ignoring the question about safety. Good thing her other answer has a lot to take in!]

[WELL YES THAT IS ONE WAY TO DISTRACT HIM.]

A... magus?

That's what I said, yes. Ah, although, I suppose 'wizard' is the modern term for them...

Oh, wizards, yes. I'm familiar with the concept.

[INTERNAL SCREAMING.]

What sort of, um. Wizarding... does he do?

[Not for the first time, he feels like maybe he's actually just on a drug trip from the tranquilizers.]

Well, I don't feel like teaching the basics of Spiritron hacking right now, so I'll pass on that. But, she is an amazing wizard who was able to summon and form a contract with a spirit like me, and I suppose you could say now that she's the ruler of the moon.

[she's helping.]

[.... OH.

Did you say she.

Yes, you did.

.... Interesting.

WELL, far be it for him to judge anyone's love life! As long as one is happy and healthy, it should be of no concern. He clears his throat.

... And is then struck by the realization of the other stuff they're talking about.]

I beg your pardon?

[DID YOU SAY MOON....]

Hm? Did you not hear me?

[She sounds quite amused.]

[He gives a little chuckle.]

Oh, yes, surely I must not have. You said something about ruling the moon.

[And that you're a spirit but you know that could be just metaphorical and whatnot!

As surely that moon thing must be.]

Well, there's not much left to rule, but that's right. She survived through the war, I defeated all her enemies, and she got to claim the Holy Grail!

................... Holy Grail, you say.

[Jarvis turns away from the screen, rubbing his chin, troubled.

Muttering :]

... Have I suffered a stroke?

[And it's now she turns on the video. Pink hair, fox ears on her head, etc.]

Oh, I don't know. You are talking to a spirit, after all.

........................................

I must have surely suffered a stroke.

I'm hallucinating conversations about moonpeople and ghosts.

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