driftfleet | video.

Who: Mr. Jarvis and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!

[The video begins with a fellow in a well-pressed suit and a carefully adjusted tie, all befitting someone who puts the most care into looking a well-kept part in society. His poor hair could do with some pomade - it hangs a bit, droops like a wilted leaf on his forehead, but otherwise he's made sure to keep his dignity in the wake of this... horrible event. He's been clearly kidnapped. Kidnapped! He prays Miss Carter is safe somewhere; the last thing he remembers is being hit with a tranquilizer, but he can't seem to remember if it had been a terribly dangerous affair. Didn't they have the assailant in their trunk? Oh, what a beast the man had been. He will attempt to keep his composure regardless. It's his job.]

While I appreciate that you've let me keep my reading glasses, I'm afraid I won't be broken in by such... backwards methods. Whoever you are and wherever you have... taken me, I can assure you that you've chosen a terrible person to kidnap and that kindness will earn you nothing of use. I'm just the butler; a chauffeur, and I'll have little to offer you, unless you would like to learn how to properly fold any and all manner of clothing.

... Or how to properly prepare a dining table.

[I imagine nothing of that sort will interest you, you're probably all thuggish barbarians.]

If you think you'll get anything at all from me otherwise — well!

[He folds his arms, and though he's concerned for his health in the future (god please don't murder me whoever you people are), he is doing his best impression of an impassive, dry-witted butler. As always. He doesn't sell it perfectly, but at least he's selling it, and that's what matters. Look how tough and unbreakable I am. Can't hurt a butler when he's down.]

You're sorely mistaken.

[........ brb fumbling now]

How do I turn this thing off?

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And yourself one, I'm sure this is quite fun for you.

[He sighs, a sort of 'well, this happened' sigh.

As panicked as Jarvis may get in life, he's at least not very often scared of circumstances around him (sparingly few instances thus far not included). As far as Jarvis is concerned, he is very sure that panic is a healthy feeling. Er. In most circumstances.]

Aliens who can fly, people with extraordinary powers, and a ship floating through space. Is there anything else I must cope with while I'm aboard?

-- Dubious food and very little privacy. That's about the long and short of it.

[ well. there's more, but she isn't wholly cruel. ]

... Dubious food may very well be the worst thing you've told me so far.

I'm afraid there isn't much of anything real on board, apart from the spices. Though many crews forage for their own fresh ingredients when they can. [ ... ] I'd put the protein compounds somewhere on the same level as war-time rationing.

... No.

[He folds his arms, as if a posh little schoolboy.]

No, I absolutely refuse this. I'll make something good out of this terrible situation, mark my words. If it's edible, I will re-purpose it and make it a true meal. Kidnap us if you must, but leave the war-time rationing at home.

[ well, lookit. peggy bites down on a smile. here is the dear friend: unshakable in the face of domestic hardship. if there's anyone who will make the most of these skinflint cupboards, it's edwin jarvis. ]

What's your augment, I wonder? [ ... ] Did the Atroma catch you a little too on the nose and assign you as a cook?

Fortunately not; I don't need an augment to make sense of this mess they call food.

I've more dignity than that.

I've -- [He prods at the bump on his neck, wincing.] -- been assigned pilot. You must give them that, it's fitting enough; I'm more than happy to keep my mind occupied with travel.

Pilot! [ a low whistle. fitting, indeed. and yet she's having a bit of delight imagining jarvis behind the helm of either a ship or a shuttle. ] What would Howard think of you now, I wonder, destined to go zipping between the stars?

[Jarvis considers it for a moment, and then smiles a bit, sneaky as a fox and confident in the future.]

... I imagine he'd be quite jealous.

He was quite impressed with the set-up, yes. [ ... ] If also more than a little annoyed it did him no good to tear it all apart.

[ not so easily reverse engineered, this stuff. ]

Much to your complete dismay.

You won't have to worry about that from me; I prefer things functioning, if it's all the same to you.

You won't hear any complaints from me on that front. I've done a bit of tinkering on my own -- it didn't do me any good, I don't think.

Tinkering is better than demolishing.

[love you boss]

What about these... augments? Any luck in solving their mysterious nature?

They're vital to our survival -- and they pipeline necessary information directly into our minds. They translate, they track, and God knows what else. [ a weary sigh. ] I'm certain they're what keeps us tied to our ships.

Yes - it's a strange intrusion of privacy, to be sure.

I wonder if they collect data from our worlds.

You don't suppose... the entertainment could simply be a rouse for such a thing?

I suppose it very much, Mister Jarvis. [ the feed registers a nod of her head. she's proud, really, that he found that conclusion so quickly. ] It can't be as simple as watching us. I doubt that offers quite as much entertainment as they're advertising.

That's... That's terrible. With information some people may have - like Howard and yourself... I'd just spoken with someone who is politically involved in their world! They could be getting all sorts of confidential and dangerous information to use.

What on earth do we do next?

We play our hands as carefully as we can. It's the only tactic left to us -- arguably, they're monitoring us even now.

[ listening in on this conversation. ]

[.............. He looks around at dead air.]

They monitor us... every moment?

One assumes, yes. [ no empathy. she's been living this for more than a year. ] So do try and behave.

How perverted.

These Atroma people are scoundrels who deserve a Stark invention blowing up in their faces. Just - soot and potential radiation and a concerning peanut butter smell.

[HE SAYS THIS LIKE MAYBE HE'S BEEN VICTIM TO A STARK INVENTION THAT HAS DONE THIS VERY THING.]

I shan't behave the way they hope. I will be a dull simpleton who gives them not a moment of enjoyable footage.

[ oh don't be so quick to dedicate yourself to dullness, dear edwin! peggy cuts in: ] We are compensated for our level of -- well, drama, I suppose. The more entertaining you are, the more you get paid.

[He looks intensely at her, folding his arms. Firm.]

I cannot be bought, Miss Carter.

I have integrity! I'll live in a box. I'll pour tea in a tin can.

And how shall you afford your tea?

[ really, the standard issue green stuff is so utterly disappointing. ]

I imagine I'll become a common crook and steal a handful of tea leaves from your kitchen.

Or perhaps I'll become a goldfish. Did you know that even the British can survive on water alone?

(no subject)

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