Edwin Jarvis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
edwinjarvis) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-12-30 03:42 pm
edwinjarvis) wrote in driftfleet2016-12-30 03:42 pm
video.
Who: Mr. Jarvis and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!
[The video begins with a fellow in a well-pressed suit and a carefully adjusted tie, all befitting someone who puts the most care into looking a well-kept part in society. His poor hair could do with some pomade - it hangs a bit, droops like a wilted leaf on his forehead, but otherwise he's made sure to keep his dignity in the wake of this... horrible event. He's been clearly kidnapped. Kidnapped! He prays Miss Carter is safe somewhere; the last thing he remembers is being hit with a tranquilizer, but he can't seem to remember if it had been a terribly dangerous affair. Didn't they have the assailant in their trunk? Oh, what a beast the man had been. He will attempt to keep his composure regardless. It's his job.]
While I appreciate that you've let me keep my reading glasses, I'm afraid I won't be broken in by such... backwards methods. Whoever you are and wherever you have... taken me, I can assure you that you've chosen a terrible person to kidnap and that kindness will earn you nothing of use. I'm just the butler; a chauffeur, and I'll have little to offer you, unless you would like to learn how to properly fold any and all manner of clothing.
... Or how to properly prepare a dining table.
[I imagine nothing of that sort will interest you, you're probably all thuggish barbarians.]
If you think you'll get anything at all from me otherwise — well!
[He folds his arms, and though he's concerned for his health in the future (god please don't murder me whoever you people are), he is doing his best impression of an impassive, dry-witted butler. As always. He doesn't sell it perfectly, but at least he's selling it, and that's what matters. Look how tough and unbreakable I am. Can't hurt a butler when he's down.]
You're sorely mistaken.
[........ brb fumbling now]
How do I turn this thing off?
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!
[The video begins with a fellow in a well-pressed suit and a carefully adjusted tie, all befitting someone who puts the most care into looking a well-kept part in society. His poor hair could do with some pomade - it hangs a bit, droops like a wilted leaf on his forehead, but otherwise he's made sure to keep his dignity in the wake of this... horrible event. He's been clearly kidnapped. Kidnapped! He prays Miss Carter is safe somewhere; the last thing he remembers is being hit with a tranquilizer, but he can't seem to remember if it had been a terribly dangerous affair. Didn't they have the assailant in their trunk? Oh, what a beast the man had been. He will attempt to keep his composure regardless. It's his job.]
While I appreciate that you've let me keep my reading glasses, I'm afraid I won't be broken in by such... backwards methods. Whoever you are and wherever you have... taken me, I can assure you that you've chosen a terrible person to kidnap and that kindness will earn you nothing of use. I'm just the butler; a chauffeur, and I'll have little to offer you, unless you would like to learn how to properly fold any and all manner of clothing.
... Or how to properly prepare a dining table.
[I imagine nothing of that sort will interest you, you're probably all thuggish barbarians.]
If you think you'll get anything at all from me otherwise — well!
[He folds his arms, and though he's concerned for his health in the future (god please don't murder me whoever you people are), he is doing his best impression of an impassive, dry-witted butler. As always. He doesn't sell it perfectly, but at least he's selling it, and that's what matters. Look how tough and unbreakable I am. Can't hurt a butler when he's down.]
You're sorely mistaken.
[........ brb fumbling now]
How do I turn this thing off?
no subject
... Howard Stark... often causes these sorts of...
That is...
[I'm gonna start sweating]
I didn't mean to... offend...
Sorry this is so late; took me a week to decide if Wanda would let this go or not... ;_;
You didn't mean to offend? By insinuating that I slept with this "Howard Stark?!" HOW CAN YOU THINK I WOULD NOT BE OFFENDED?!
lol no prob!
I, um. It's just — usually I deal with fallout from Stark's lady friends in general. The level of... romancing is not often of any concern...! [He looks entirely defeated, pardon.] ... I don't usually deal with other reasons why women are unhappy to hear his name. This is new to me.
no subject
[She huffs, a little out of breath from her yelling.]
I have more than enough reason to hate the name "Stark."
no subject
Forgive me my foolish tongue, I will give you payments in credits for my terribly incorrect assumptions to repent.
... and of course a slap to the face if that helps make you feel better.
no subject
I don't want your credits.
But a slap to your face sounds well deserved.
[She glares daggers at him for a moment. Then, she closes her eyes, shakes her head slowly, and lets out a heavy sigh.]
It sounds as though we were each thinking of two different people who happen to share the last name "Stark." While that does little to make up for being accused of SLEEPING with a man... why don't we leave it that? That we simply had a mix-up and that led to this "misunderstanding."
no subject
He's defeated. Red in the face. He has lost all hope. He flops over uselessly, internally.]
Very well, miss. My humblest apologies again.
no subject
[A frustrated sigh.]
Just drop it. It's over.
Whoever you "butler" for back wherever you are from is no business of mine.