Edwin Jarvis (
edwinjarvis) wrote in
driftfleet2016-12-30 03:42 pm
video.
Who: Mr. Jarvis and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!
[The video begins with a fellow in a well-pressed suit and a carefully adjusted tie, all befitting someone who puts the most care into looking a well-kept part in society. His poor hair could do with some pomade - it hangs a bit, droops like a wilted leaf on his forehead, but otherwise he's made sure to keep his dignity in the wake of this... horrible event. He's been clearly kidnapped. Kidnapped! He prays Miss Carter is safe somewhere; the last thing he remembers is being hit with a tranquilizer, but he can't seem to remember if it had been a terribly dangerous affair. Didn't they have the assailant in their trunk? Oh, what a beast the man had been. He will attempt to keep his composure regardless. It's his job.]
While I appreciate that you've let me keep my reading glasses, I'm afraid I won't be broken in by such... backwards methods. Whoever you are and wherever you have... taken me, I can assure you that you've chosen a terrible person to kidnap and that kindness will earn you nothing of use. I'm just the butler; a chauffeur, and I'll have little to offer you, unless you would like to learn how to properly fold any and all manner of clothing.
... Or how to properly prepare a dining table.
[I imagine nothing of that sort will interest you, you're probably all thuggish barbarians.]
If you think you'll get anything at all from me otherwise — well!
[He folds his arms, and though he's concerned for his health in the future (god please don't murder me whoever you people are), he is doing his best impression of an impassive, dry-witted butler. As always. He doesn't sell it perfectly, but at least he's selling it, and that's what matters. Look how tough and unbreakable I am. Can't hurt a butler when he's down.]
You're sorely mistaken.

[........ brb fumbling now]
How do I turn this thing off?
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!
[The video begins with a fellow in a well-pressed suit and a carefully adjusted tie, all befitting someone who puts the most care into looking a well-kept part in society. His poor hair could do with some pomade - it hangs a bit, droops like a wilted leaf on his forehead, but otherwise he's made sure to keep his dignity in the wake of this... horrible event. He's been clearly kidnapped. Kidnapped! He prays Miss Carter is safe somewhere; the last thing he remembers is being hit with a tranquilizer, but he can't seem to remember if it had been a terribly dangerous affair. Didn't they have the assailant in their trunk? Oh, what a beast the man had been. He will attempt to keep his composure regardless. It's his job.]
While I appreciate that you've let me keep my reading glasses, I'm afraid I won't be broken in by such... backwards methods. Whoever you are and wherever you have... taken me, I can assure you that you've chosen a terrible person to kidnap and that kindness will earn you nothing of use. I'm just the butler; a chauffeur, and I'll have little to offer you, unless you would like to learn how to properly fold any and all manner of clothing.
... Or how to properly prepare a dining table.
[I imagine nothing of that sort will interest you, you're probably all thuggish barbarians.]
If you think you'll get anything at all from me otherwise — well!
[He folds his arms, and though he's concerned for his health in the future (god please don't murder me whoever you people are), he is doing his best impression of an impassive, dry-witted butler. As always. He doesn't sell it perfectly, but at least he's selling it, and that's what matters. Look how tough and unbreakable I am. Can't hurt a butler when he's down.]
You're sorely mistaken.
[........ brb fumbling now]
How do I turn this thing off?

video
[Those are good things and he supposes they... help...]
Video
[Ponders for a moment. ]
You've seen statues of figures representing countries, right? Or painting. Britannia at home, Lady Liberty across the pond.
Well they've never actually gotten close to what we look like.
Video
[He's trying really hard, Arthur. He really is.]
You're... country... mascots? Like... Elsie the Cow, or Mr. Peanut?
Re: Video
I'm England.
Video
Lady Liberty has one over on you in creativity, I'm afraid.
[he's kind of too shellshocked at the concepts being thrown here to even be anxious]
Video
Though to be fair, Britannia named me Albion originally. England came later.
And that silly statue is practically a French self-portrait anyway. Vain fop.
Video
[HE'S STILL NOT SURE HE BELIEVES, BUT.
BUT...!!!]
Video
Perhaps I should leave you alone to adjust for a while then.
Perhaps we'll run into each other once you're free to wander.
Video
Video
I'd prefer to see my people safe.
Video
[call disconnected
.... One of your people though, how utterly bizarre.
He's going to have a lot to get used to.]