driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: Aoko, anyone
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Not really applicable, but the Iskaulit if anybody does feel like it!
When: January 1

[ The video opens up to Aoko, perched on the edge of the Iskaulit's boxing ring. She's wearing both her exercise gear (which seems to include a scarf, do not question her questionable life choices) and a bright, beaming smile — the kind that may or may not preclude mischief. Her poker face could really use some work. ]

Hey! I need help. It's really important.

[ There's a beat. ]

… What's the best way to turn the word 'agent' into a cat pun?

[ She's asking for a friend, really. (If by that we mean, "she's asking so she can embarrass a friend, should he ever turn up amongst the fleet.") ]

Oh! And one more thing. If anybody here likes simple number games, check out the file attached to this video. Each box is filled with a number between one and eight, and a number can only appear once in each row and column. The inequalities are there to make things more interesting – and to act as clues! [ Her grin softens into something lighter, more cheerful than outright devious. ] I'll give cookies to everyone who finds the solution.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ #NAILEDIT ]

[ It's a good thing the gym's empty right now, because Aoko is cracking up ]

[THE QUESTION IS: will she call him back???]

[ No, she's waiting for him to come crawling back to her. ]

[WELL WHAT IF HE DOESN'T]

[though ten minutes later or so she gets a text]

i'm sorry aoko we have to break up now

its been nice dating you

[ Wow. Wow. Aoko taps out a quick response: ]

so long and thanks for all the fish ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

[WOW]

oi! you know the one thing i DIDN'T bring to this relationship was fish!

Before I met you fish was just a delicious meal

Now it provides hours of entertainment!!

why don't you go date a fish then if you love them so much

[WHAT A JUVENILE RESPONSE]

ok ʅฺ(・ω・。)ʃฺ

[ he was asking for that one ]

[oh my god]

you're the one who's gonna smell like fish all day now

anyway i've decided to take you back under one condition

[well that was a short lived "break up"]

mermaids are cute tho so it's worth it

[ That makes sense, right? Yeah. And it's true, some mermaids are super duper cute! ... or is the technical term mermen? That's something to think about ... ]

make up your mind already!!

nothing is ever worth it. and they aren't as good looking as i am so there

[THERE]

the condition is this

[. . . and that's where the text ends. there is no follow up. no explanation. no anything]

Edited 2017-01-02 00:05 (UTC)

????
kaito?

[ ... ]

[ She quickly fires off another text: ]

the condition is what???

[mysteriously, there is ~no reply~]

[but a few minutes later she'll feel the cold spray of water as a water balloon suddenly bursts over her head]

[ what ]

[ YELLS??? as she leaps up and spins around, looking distinctly—and appropriately!—like a cat that just got shoved into a bathtub full of cold water ]

What the hell?!

[and there stands Kaito, with a water gun in each hand, giving her an absolute shit eating grin]

Ha ha! I'm almost surprised you didn't see that coming!

[and he tosses her one of the water guns, his intentions clear]

Edited 2017-01-04 19:30 (UTC)

[ okay, but ]

[ what if, instead, she catches and pitches it straight back at his stupid grinning face, with a (comedically!!) violent amount of force ]

We're living on a fleet of space ships, Kaito! How was I supposed to know you'd sneak up on me from wherever you were?!

[YELPS and ducks, but the comical violence isn't enough to wipe the grin from his face]

You should know by now to expect the unexpected from me!

[kihihihihi~]

[ Oh, so that's how he wants to play, is it. Kaito wants to get his ass kicked? Well. If the way Aoko's cracking her knuckles right now is anything to go by, she's more than happy to oblige. ]

It wasn't unexpected, it was just rude! This is the second time you've soaked me ...!

[ Better watch out, because she doesn't waste any more time before diving at him. ]

The first time wasn't my fault. . .!

[totally cartwheels out of the way. the cartwheel is unnecessary for dodging, he just thinks it looks cool]

Edited 2017-01-04 19:59 (UTC)

[ does he still think it looks cool when she pinpoints his trajectory, and uses that knowledge to GO IN FOR THE KILL ]

Don't try to displace the blame, Kaito! It was so your fault!

[ and in this case, "going in for the kill" absolutely means shoving her hand in his face to shove him down the floor!! ]

[. . . that is so not what I thought she was gonna do, ftr]

[he'd response, but all he can really do is let out an unintelligible noise as he crashes into the ground, a heaping pile of flailing limbs and new bruises]

-- hoko!

[is the only understandable word that comes out]