driftfleet

Entry tags:

002

Who: ELN-1470
Broadcast: Yes! Fleet-wide
Action: On the Starstruck
When: 3/7

[ ELN broadcasts from the control room of the Starstruck. She is sitting on a control panel, because that's the only way she can reach the controls: by walking over them. ]

It has come to my attention that the vast majority of you have - [ a brief pause, a sigh ] - names. Which means that, in the interests of efficiency, I must have one as well.

[ Really, she wants to know what it feels like, to have that kind of mark of individuality. But she pretends at disdain. ]

I do not know how an individual goes about procuring a name. Therefore, I offer the first three letters of my designation - E-L-N. You may proffer suggestions based on those.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Competence, hopefully.

[ EEEEEYYYYEEEEEROOOOOOOLL ]

At what, piloting? I'm pretty sure I can handle it.

And I'm not delicate. My muscles and tendons are more durable than yours, and my bones are just as hard to break.

More durable than a human's, y'mean. Ain't got nothing to do with me, then.

[ Hm, she should try to be helpful to change the subject ]

...Maybe Erica. My cousin had a kid with an Erica. She was a pain in the ass, too.

[ See? HELPFUL! ]

With such a strong recommendation, how could I resist?

Look, O Tiny One, I'm trying to help. You want friendly help, ask somebody who gives a shit about being friendly.

Friendliness is not a useful quality.

Finally, something we can agree on.

Natasha. Lucy. Lorraine. Evelyn.

You ever planning on leaving my control room?

Edited 2015-03-09 02:24 (UTC)

I might leave when I'm sure you won't attempt brain surgery on yourself or set something on fire for fun.

Why would I want to do either of those things? They're idiotic.

[ Well, okay, maybe she might set things on fire sometimes at home, but that's when they're not IN SPACE. ]

[ A little shrug, but she's clearly still stewing about it. ]

Another crewmate didn't seem the type for unexpected brain surgery, but then I found him bleeding on the ground and another ready to sew him up with an unsterilized needle.

Welcome to the Starstruck.

...you know what, I take back what I thought, it could get worse than you.

What the fuck.

I had to physically remove the needle from his grasp.

Is this a feature of males near your size, or is it a coincidence?

I think we just got the nutjobs. Lucky us.

[ Is this... companionship???

ELN sits down on a bare patch between control panels, drawing her knees up and leaning her elbows on them. ]

It would have been remarkably inefficient for half the human race to be so foolish.

I know, you already said you're not human.

[ m-maaaaaybe????

Hard to tell.

Yes?

Let's go with yes. ]

I mean, don't get me wrong, guys are idiots 99% of the time, but not that bad. I mean, at least run that over a flame or something before you use it, if it's that desperate. Don't we have like a first aid kit or something on this deathtrap?

A bit more than that. In addition, the augmentation to my cortical stack provided some basic medical expertise.

Seriously? Medical Officer Captain Eileen Lindsay Neil?

[ Look, more name suggestions! ]

You're just a bundle of skills, huh?

My prior designation was as a communications, status and coordination officer.

I'm not going to be named after a gesture of obeisance. [ She thinks 'Neil' means 'Kneel'. ]

Okay one, I have no idea what that last word means. Two, those are all very respectable Irish names, thanks. You're not disrespecting the Irish, are you?

[ Her accent, for the record, is Boston with just a HINT of Irish, like you'd get living in Boston but often around some Irish people. NOT THAT IT MATTERS, it just seemed important to point out. ]

That is a nationality, isn't it?

Yep. My family's Irish, came over when my dad was a kid.

A human nationality.

Ain't just humans live there, where I'm from.

Then what are you?