2. Glitched Augmen-Tina

[continuousgroaning]

Who: Tina Belcher and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Paisley
When: February 5th

[When Tina turns the camera on, she's... quite chatty. And speaking a lot faster than she normally does.]

So is it normal to have a huge burst of energy come from nowhere because the last time this happened to me I was hooked on espresso but I haven't had a single drop of that magic liquid in years pretty much no thanks to my mom pawning the espresso machine but anyway I can't keep still and this really isn't like me is there some way to make it stop??

[She pauses to take a breath.]

... actually I don't want it to stop BYE.

Action

[Sorry, Paisley shipmates, but your new cook is twitchy and running here to there, compulsively cleaning, when she's not experimenting with food in the new kitchen. Quite a change from her first week here, where she was very retiring and shy.]

Comments

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[continuousgroaning]

If you want to help I mean I know cleaning isn't something everyone likes to do so if you wanna just watch that would be cool too!

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[livesfastdiesung]

No way, I'll definitely help! Everything's gonna be so clean by the time I'm done!

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[continuousgroaning]

Yeah! Go Team Clean! [Tina raised her hand in the air to pump her fist... only to accidentally knock her glasses off her face and to the floor.] ... aww man, I hate when I do that but at least they didn't break this time at least I hope they didn't... [Squinting, Tina leaned down to grab her eyes, scooping them up and examining them.]

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[livesfastdiesung]

[Freyja does, at least, take the time to peer down at Tina's glasses.]

I don't think they're broken...

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[continuousgroaning]

Good. [Tina crammed them back on her face.] I'm just wondering where this sudden burst of energy came from because it's not like I've had any coffee or anything but this feels similar to when I was hyped up on espresso that one time.

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[livesfastdiesung]

Maybe it's just a space thing! Or they slipped us espresso somewhere!

[She's not actually sure about how accurate this is, but whatever. Anything is possible.]

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[continuousgroaning]

I wouldn't mind the espresso. ... then again, it IS kind of dangerous for me to be hyped up on it. The first time I drank it it felt like the most wonderful thing in the world, but it made me kinda mean, too. ... as in "I made fun of my crush's lisp" kind of mean.

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[livesfastdiesung]

—You did?? Did you say sorry to them later??? I hope you did!

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[continuousgroaning]

I did. That really wasn't my proudest moment, but I think he understood that I wasn't myself under the influence of caffiene because he took me out on a date a few months later and we ate a lot of pie so we're cool.

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[livesfastdiesung]

At least you apologized and it all worked out!! Romance always find a way if you're in love!

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[continuousgroaning]

We're in agreement on that. I hope Jimmy Junior is, too, because sometimes it feels like he doesn't even notice I'm there but other times he's really into me...

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[livesfastdiesung]

Boys are just kinda weird like that. I mean, the boy I love is such a jerk but I love everything about him at the same time, you know?

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[continuousgroaning]

Jimmy Junior can be like that, too! He makes me SO MAD! But I keep getting drawn back to him... mostly by his butt...

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[livesfastdiesung]

There's a lot more to Hayate than his butt, but... he really does have a nice one. Just don't tell anyone I ever said that, especially not him!

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[continuousgroaning]

Okay, your secret's safe with me. And I know not everyone shares my appreciation of butts.