3. Unicorn Mea-Tina

[continuousgroaning]

Who: Tina Belcher and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Paisley
When: March 2nd

[Tina is humming a small tune to herself when she turns on the broadcast; there's a crate on the floor of the Paisley's cargo bay labeled "TINA BELCHER" on the floor, which she displays before turning the camera on herself.]

Uhm, I found this on my ship this morning and I assume it's one of those sponsor gifts so I thought I'd do a little unboxing video since it's my first one. I wonder what's inside? Let's find out.

[She resumes humming as she opens up the crate. There's a stack of cans inside, which from the top look rather like cans of Spam.]

... did they really send me a bunch of Spam? I'm not sure I'm going to eat any of it, but okay... [Frowning, she picks up one of the cans, then lets out a horrified gasp, for the label reads-]

CANNED UNICORN MEAT?? Who would... why would...

[The groan that issues from her mouth before she cuts off the broadcast can probably be heard throughout the ship. Sorry, Paisley.

If she or any of the crew ends up actually opening the cans, some of them will have plush unicorns inside, like the linked product, while others will have Floot Brand Potted Meat Food. It's labeled as being halal, but does it contain actual unicorn? The world may never know~]

Comments

[continuousgroaning]

Could be. Like, if I wasn't going to play along, they gave me something they KNEW would get a negative reaction from me.

[spacebro]

I guess it worked. Sorry.

[continuousgroaning]

I'd like to tell myself I won't let it happen again, but... it probably will. Some things I care so much about, it's hard to NOT have some kind of reaction to them.

[spacebro]

Do you really want to go through life without reactions?

[continuousgroaning]

Well, I guess not. Who would I be without my emotions? I don't like being forced to play Atroma's games, though.

[spacebro]

No, games are always better left voluntary.

Do you know what you'll do with the unicorn meat?

[continuousgroaning]

Probably see if I can find someone who can tell me if it's actually cursed first. If it isn't, I'm sure someone on my crew will eat it.

[spacebro]

Cursed? Cursed how?

[continuousgroaning]

I'm not sure. I don't... really have a lot of experience with curses or anything, but someone else mentioned it might be, and I don't want to take that risk.

[spacebro]

Oh. Well, probably best to figure that part out. Do you need any help? No that I know anything about curses or unicorns either.

[continuousgroaning]

I'm gonna talk to my captain first- he should know what to do. But thank you.

[spacebro]

Sure. It was nice meeting you.

[continuousgroaning]

You too. [And she smiles before ending the feed.]