Just Keeping Swimming | March Planet Mingle

[thespaceopera]

Who: Everyone!
Broadcast: If you want!
Action: Anywhere on Mafik
When: The month of March



[Welcome to Mafik, the water world! Hope you brought your best swimming gear and don't have a paralyzing fear of water, because that's all that's here! So get out those wet suits and enjoy life under the sea!

In other words, it's a mingle! ]

> System Information

Comments

[ahappylie]

I am happy for you, Tamamo-san. It's a rare thing for anyone to find someone who is such a good match, but especially so during war.

[castrationfist]

That's right! If I could only get rid of this last, pesky rival, then I would have my perfect happy end!

[ahappylie]

A rival?

[Well, that's annoying.]

Who is it?

[castrationfist]

[Her mood immediately sours.]

No one important. An insignificant insect who styles herself a Roman emperor... Well, I'll clean her up soon enough.

[ahappylie]

[Wtf is a Roman...]

An emperor? [Empress?]

Are all the people in your war female?

[castrationfist]

Of course not. The Holy Grail War summons legends, heroes and villains and monsters, from all of history. Men and women alike, and the Masters who fight can be any magus.

The nuisance in question is the Roman emperor, Nero, but you don't seem too familiar with that...

[ahappylie]

I'm afraid I'm not.

Although it seems odd to me to call a female ruler an "emperor." Wouldn't she be an "empress?"

[castrationfist]

Who knows what goes through her mind?

But there were many other heroes and villains. Ones you might recognize... Oda Nobunaga, or Miyamoto Musashi, or Fuma Kotarou.

[ahappylie]

[He couldn't answer that because he has no idea who she is - the ultimate Catch-22.

But he does recognize those names, especially Oda Nobunaga. Who didn't know him?]

Oh...so even he is called into your war? As a spirit?

[castrationfist]

Which "he" do you mean?

[She has a hunch, since one of those is so much more famous than the others, but.]

[ahappylie]

Lord Oda Nobunaga. He died before his ambitions were realized... I suppose it's only fitting that he come back to fight in a different war in the future.

[castrationfist]

Oh, yes, Nobunaga... What a troublesome enemy she was. She's a walking Anti-Divinity weapon, so to someone like me, those guns were super-instant-death attacks, and having that three-thousand gun firing line was just unfair.

[yeah.]

[ahappylie]

...................................................................







[wait






wat]


....You mean "he," don't you?

[castrationfist]

[I'M SORRY FOR FATE/.]

She spoke like a man, but that body was definitely a woman. But, well... It does make sense, doesn't it?

[ahappylie]

How?

[How does that make sense at all? He's seen way too many paintings of Oda Nobunaga to ever think that he was a she.]

As I remember it, he is most definitely a man?

[castrationfist]

Oh? Did you know her yourself, then?

[she's got that look in her eyes like this is a trap- whatever answer he gives is just going to work towards her ends.]

[ahappylie]

...

[No, this is a trap and he's walked right into it, but at the same time, he is 100% certain Oda Nobunaga is a man.]

Every story and history book has him listed as a male though. Every portrait, the accounts of his life, everything.

[castrationfist]

That's right. You know how many people she defeated, how many people she subjugated, and in the end, it was only her own subordinate's betrayal that brought her ambitions to an end.

But you know, history is written by men. We women only have a few roles we're allowed to have. The harlot who destroys the nation, the witch who must be defeated, the holy maiden, the devoted wife... But not the conqueror, not the revolutionary, not the innovator who redefined warfare in Japan. Men have such fragile egos, you know? If they couldn't hide the fact that they were all defeated by a warlord named Oda Nobunaga, they would rewrite events so that at least they weren't defeated by a woman.

It's a surprisingly common story. Many women who were too powerful, heroes or villains, were recorded into history as men to soothe the pride of those who had opposed them.

[ahappylie]

[That makes a lot of sense, especially considering how few people would ever know the accomplishments of amazing women like Yamazaki Ayumu. She was their most effective spy and one of the first to lay her life down so willingly in the most brutal manner. He can understand everything she's saying to him now and yet...

It still doesn't jive with him.

He can't just erase his entire life of knowing that Nobunaga was a man because one person says otherwise.]

...Well, what other heroes were actually women then? Ones I'd know, perhaps?

[castrationfist]

Let's see... From my era, you know how all the tales talk about how Minamoto no Yoshitsune was so beautiful? She was indeed a beautiful woman. Minamoto no Yorimitsu, as well, though she had Ushi Gozen complicating matters... Genjou Sanzou, to go back even further.

[She looks at Soujirou, appraising him.]

I don't know what era you're from, however, so I'm hesitant to go more into the future than those.

[ahappylie]

Ah, well. [Seriously, wtf is going on right now. None of those people were women????]

I'm from Genji 1. I looked into it recently and that should be around...1864? On the Western calendar.

[castrationfist]

Oh, then you must know of the famed Shinsengumi?

[ahappylie]

Ah.. the Wolves of Mibu?

[Well, that was uncomfortable, but he can manage. He does it all the time in Kyoto and sometimes here.]

Yes, I've heard of them. It's hard not to hear of their exploits in the capitol.

[castrationfist]

That Okita Souji of theirs... I didn't believe it at first, but that Lightless Three-Stage Thrust couldn't have been anyone else.

[She sighs, annoyed.]

[ahappylie]

...

Oh.

[So he becomes a hero? And is brought back to life in the future? That's kind of-





Wait.





WAIT A MINUTE.


WAIT A HECKIN MINUTE.]

The Okita Souji you know is a woman?