Chekov, Pavel Andreievich (
candothat) wrote in
driftfleet2017-03-10 08:44 pm
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Who: Pavel Chekov
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: For the crew of the SS Wonderduck (and video for everyone else)
When: Now
[Chekov wishes he could be surprised or, at the very least, unsettled when he wakes up in a foreign place, but there's a point at which this sort of thing becomes a fairly routine--if always unpleasant--occurrence. Losing people is never easy, no matter the universe, no matter the number of times it happens.
But taking stock of the situation and establishing who is here has to come before mourning those who were left behind in MarinaNova. To that end, Chekov, somewhat familiarized with his new home and in clothes that are slightly more dignified than the pajamas that he initially woke up in on the Marsiva, begins a broadcast. Are you listening to this in Standard/English/Common? If so, enjoy the ridiculously thick Russian accent.]
This is Lieutenant Pavel Andreievich Chekov of the Federation starship Enterprise. If you have met me already or if you are affiliated with Starfleet, please respond to this message. [He smiles even though he's in no real mood to be cheerful.] I would also be happy with replies from you if we're strangers.
Thank you for your time.
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: For the crew of the SS Wonderduck (and video for everyone else)
When: Now
[Chekov wishes he could be surprised or, at the very least, unsettled when he wakes up in a foreign place, but there's a point at which this sort of thing becomes a fairly routine--if always unpleasant--occurrence. Losing people is never easy, no matter the universe, no matter the number of times it happens.
But taking stock of the situation and establishing who is here has to come before mourning those who were left behind in MarinaNova. To that end, Chekov, somewhat familiarized with his new home and in clothes that are slightly more dignified than the pajamas that he initially woke up in on the Marsiva, begins a broadcast. Are you listening to this in Standard/English/Common? If so, enjoy the ridiculously thick Russian accent.]
This is Lieutenant Pavel Andreievich Chekov of the Federation starship Enterprise. If you have met me already or if you are affiliated with Starfleet, please respond to this message. [He smiles even though he's in no real mood to be cheerful.] I would also be happy with replies from you if we're strangers.
Thank you for your time.
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Yes, from Marina. [He's almost afraid to be happy just in case he heard what he wanted to hear instead of what was actually said, but he can't help it. Just... maybe he should check one more time.] You remember me?
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Where are you? Which ship? [She starts moving, heading toward the cargo bay for a shuttle, but she doesn't cut the feed.]
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I'm on the Wonderduck. Are you coming here? Should I go to your ship? This one isn't aptly named. It's neither wonderful nor ducklike. [Is he babbling?]
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[Wait. Before she has an opportunity to answer that, a realization hits.]
How long have you been here, Kitty?
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A year and um, what day is it? Uh, a month and 10 days. [Probably more elegant ways of saying that, but time is still strange switching back to real time versus the day counting system the prison had and being very distracted by seeing him again. Not to mention video chatting while flying.] No one else from your world. At least I think they're from your world? You be the judge. But one of Data's friends is here too. No one else from the prison. At least no one who remembers it.
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[In spite of the dread building in his chest--that's such a long time--she's still here. If there was a single person he could have brought from Marina, it would have been her.]
That... ah. What was the last day you remember at the prison?
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See you soon! [She turns the feed off. It's not that she wants to delay that conversation. There are lots of details to cover with time and what she's missed, but they can figure that out. She isn't worried. The water really is throwing her off when all she wants to do is see him and hug him. But her shuttle will be there and inside dry space right aboooooout now!
She leaps out of the shuttle without opening the door so she can pounce on him with a big hug. Did you miss phasing? Did you miss her? She missed you!]
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[Her reply did absolutely nothing to assuage that dread and his brain helpfully spins out dozens of possibilities, all of which he chooses to ignore. Hugging first, thinking later!
He hugs her tightly even though it hasn't been long since he last saw her. Those handful of hours where he didn't know that she was in this universe made him miss her a lot, okay?]
I'm glad that you're here. [Whenever you're from.]
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[Maybe he could check out her expression to see what she thinks of that, but he'd have to stop hugging her to do that. He doesn't want to.]
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Day 360. [It wasn't that long ago, but it feels like the distant past. So many things have happened.] Nathan has left. You--you and Reid broke up. We... [He isn't sure he can even say it. Kitty doesn't remember that mistletoe day when he realized that he was in love with her. She doesn't remember the awkward period of time after her official break up with Reid, getting the blue bands (and not making use of them, not outside of a glitch), sharing a bed more nights than not, or the happy marriage that they had in the wardens' interpretation of a future that was twenty years away.
That's lot. He can't say it.
He still doesn't have much of a poker face (did she notice that he looks a little older? maybe not in the rush to hug), so the dawning realization that none of these things that are crucially important to his memory of Kitty ever happened to her and the dismay that comes with it is clear if she looks. She doesn't have to look. Honestly, they can just keep hugging.]
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Reid and I broke up a thousand years before that. [It may have been slightly under a thousand, but she knows they had been long broken up by the time she left even if she was still coping with the damage. She doesn't trust herself to get the actually amount of days right especially when she's fairly sure they were months, not days looking back on it now.
She slides back, keeping her arms around him, but more loosely so she can look at his face. You know, the thing he doesn't want her to do. She can hear the distress in his voice and it worries her. She was with Reid a long time and she learned a lot about profiling from him. She already had some instincts for it before that time. She should be piecing this together from the things he says and especially the things he doesn't say, but she's not. There's no part of her imagining the end of the sentence he barely started.] We?
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I know. It took both of you a very long time to admit it. [And it was an awful thing to watch. More awful than this slow-motion shipwreck that he's currently involved in since this won't hurt her. Hopefully, if he can do this right.
Since saying words is unavoidable now, he pauses to sort through the things he wants to say, looking for something that's true but unlikely to make her feel bad. Kitty made it abundantly clear that hurting him was the last thing that she wanted.]
We had blue bands, you and I. Not--ah, not that we've used them, not without a glitch. [This is hard. There are a lot of words that he wants to say right now and none of them are right.] You're a little in love with Reid still. Maybe you always will be, but...
[But I love you. It's still true right now, even though this Kitty is behind. She's still his, just as much as Kirk and McCoy and the rest of the crew are his no matter how many times they forget seeing him in these places.]
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She slides back further, but she does bring her hands down to hold his. It feels wrong to be too close right now, but she also needs to be here for him too. She jumps in before he can finish.]
I'm in love with Winn Schott. We've been together for almost a year and he's good to me. [It's so apologetic. She doesn't want to hurt him, but he's going to find out about Winn and maybe it's best to do that before he says anything he can't take back. Or maybe he needs to tell her to get it off his chest. She'll accept whatever he thinks is best.] I'm sorry. [She can't be sorry that she loves Winn, but she is sorry that she's hurting Chekov. She never imagined anything like this could be happening. That she could still be there. That they'd be together. Somewhat together. It sounds like she's not really ready to move on yet back there. So, maybe she's been hurting him for awhile.]
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Here is Pavel Chekov, in love with Kitty Pryde (still) while she's in love with someone else (again). It should be fine. It will be, he's always fine, but it's different than it was after the mistletoe. Back then, Chekov loved Kitty with full knowledge that she was still hung up on Reid, and he had made peace with the idea that she wouldn't ever move on, even after they were together. Things have been changing, though. Sometimes, when she looks at him, he thinks that she's almost ready to love him back.
He didn't realize how hard he was holding on to that until now.
Chekov habitually prepares himself for the worst--it's the best way to be content with all outcomes--but this isn't a scenario that he has prepared himself for. She's here and she remembers him, but she doesn't remember everything. She doesn't remember almost loving him and now she never will. It hurts in spite of her efforts to be kind and he's horrified to find that he's tearing up. Russian men are emotionally hardy, everyone knows that. They only cry at extremely meaningful funerals and exceptionally lovely weddings.
Since he's obviously losing all semblance of dignity, he just says the thing that he knows she doesn't want to hear. If he's going to cry on her, he may as well.] I love you, Kitty.
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Pavel...
I'm so sorry.
[She feels like she should say more. She should tell him what a good friend he is. How much she missed him. How he helped keep her together back then. But how much can she reassure before she's leading him on? Would any of it sound good to him right now or is it all the weakest of consolation prizes?]
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The hug is comforting and he holds on to her. Maybe he shouldn't since there's a boyfriend and this is a mess and it's probably inadvisable to cling to the person who just inadvertently broke his heart more thoroughly than he ever thought possible, but he wants to. He's a hug person and right now he needs this.]
It's okay. [It's not okay. He's not even trying to avoid crying now that she isn't looking at him and, while that obviously isn't preventing him from talking, he sounds abundantly not okay.] I know that this isn't something that you want. None of it is your fault.
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You still deserve better.
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So yes, okay, this is not what he wanted out of Vacation Universe #3. He'd like to go back to MarinaNova now.]
Yes, I do. [He laughs a bit wetly. Maybe it would be better to deny it, but you know what? He's a decent person. He doesn't deserve to watch Kitty love someone else again.] Someday, maybe.
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She's glad he knows it too.] Definitely someday. [She's not saying with her, but he's too great not to be with someone who is good for him. Someone who won't be half in love with Reid. Someone who isn't fully in love with Winn.] I could introduce you to all the single girls I know here. [Too soon? She's not that emphatic about it. Somewhere between genuine offer and weak joke to ease the tension.]
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I think I should give up on falling in love for a little while, but thank you. [Going the weak joke route even though he doubts that he's going to get over Kitty quickly. It was so simple to box up his feelings for Tessa and Lucy because they went off to different universes, never to be seen again, but Kitty's right here.]
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I don't know if saying this helps or if it makes it worse, but I do love you as a friend. I want to do whatever you need, okay? Just...tell me what that is and I'll be here for you or...gone for you. Whatever it is.
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Please don't be gone. [He takes her hands and backs off just enough to let her see that he means it. He was fine with being her friend and never anything else once, he should be capable of doing that again. What happened in MarinaNova after Day 360 just needs to be shoved in a box and put in the archive where Chekov keeps everything else that he wants to remember but not feel. No problem.
No problem at all.]
I want to be a good friend to you again. [Except his feelings aren't the only things to consider here.] What distance will you need so that I don't... ah. [Make everyone hideously uncomfortable? That was a real trial when Reid was involved.] Interfere?
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