driftfleet | 001: Video

Who: Lumiére and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Marsiva
When: Right noe

[There are some things a person comes to expect in their life. Of course, magical curses that turn you and your colleagues into inanimate objects tends to move those goalposts a little, but you still expect certain things to remain the way they are.

For instance, if you live in an 18th century castle in the middle of France, you honestly don't expect to be suddenly not in that castle. And you absolutely do not expect to be suddenly in space. You sure don't expect to somehow understand, at least vaguely what space is. These are things Lumiére did not expect to happen to him today, and yet here they are, happening.

But then again, the Flooters probably don't expect to see a sentient candelabra shuffling in front of their screens as he presses his little candle hands to the window, staring out in the blank nothingness. Lumiére has no idea how he got here, he has no idea WHY he's here, but there's one thing he knows for absolute certainty-

Cogsworth is going to KILL him. ]

Zut alors! What is this place?

[He really, genuinely doesn't have time for this. Usually he's a big fan of all kinds of tomfoolery, but he's kind of on a really tight schedule right now and it's really, really not one he can shirk. He needs to get out of...whatever this is and get back. Like. Now. He turns, looking around him in the vast room, hoping for a sign of life.]

Hello? Anyone home?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Probably wiser, sir. But I have been remiss - Maglor, at your service. [ He bows a little ] Are there any questions I can help you with in regards to our kidnapping?

[Lumiére gives an extravagant bow of his own in return. ]

The pleasure is all mine! I am Lumiére.

I wonder if you could tell me what a television is? And what it has to do with where we are now?

[Help him. ]

Well met, Master Lumiere. And I fear that the details of television you might need to ask of one who is more familiar. But what I am given to understand is that we are being watched. Entertainment, as it were - a living, breathing, dynamic play. This place where we are is our stage. One of many, although the ships we are on never change.

Likewise, mon ami!

Oh, I see, it's like a play. That...actually helps a lot. So we have an audience we cannot see?

[This. This he can do. He's entertained nobility, he's got this. ]

Even so! I believe 'television' is both the device they are watching us on, and also the title of the 'type' of entertainment that we are in.

Once you are assigned to your ship, you may well recive, from time to time, gifts from your sponsorts, if you do something particularly interesting. Mostly, the gifts are... odd.

This is most interesting.

[There's a pause. He honestly hasn't had any worldly possessions since he became one, so- ]

That is very kind of them, though I am not sure what I would do with such a gift. Odd or otherwise.

If you are fortunate, it will be vaguely useful. Mostly, they are annoyances.

[ Maglor shrugs ] Someone was once given dozens of garden decorations shaped like birds - the reason why escapes me. Fortunately, I am like to receive letters more than gifts, so far.

...Shaped like birds. Do we even have gardens in space?

[He has no idea how this works, wow. ]

Are they letters from loved ones?

Indeed. [ SO VERY DRY ]

And no - well, we did not. Some have taken it upon themselves to cultivate a small one in the large common areas of the the Iskaulit. And alas no - they are all from, um, 'fans'.

[ Occasionally asking HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE questions ]

You...get letters from the people watching us? I hope they have good things to say.

Sometimes. And sometimes the things are just... odd.

...How odd are we talking about here? Should I be worried?

Well, so far my oddest has been multiple inquiries as to... uh... the state of my love life. In... quite... um... intimate detail, at times.

Oh.

[Is that all? That's like an hour in court, dude. Everyone knows who's sleeping with who. Or at least, the servants do. You need to know how to seat people to avoid any stabbings.]

Well, perhaps our audience have a burning desire to know. Romance is always very intriguing.

[ He's been in court, and they're not usually this... uh... ]

Romance, I can understand but... bedroom habits? And... requesting... a ... um... demonstration...