Chapter Thirteen [video]

[thebestseller]

Who: Richard Castle and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: N/A unless you want to talk to him in person on the Twin Roses
When: March 23rd

[Castle definitely wasn't one for going deep-sea diving to fight monsters, even with his newfound powers. Fire wasn't very effective underwater, after all.

So he decided to go for some entertainment instead. Time for another crappy romance novel reading. The cover has a stereotypical image of a very buff man holding a swooning damsel in his arms and is titled FLIGHT OF PASSION.]

"Steven tried to run, but it seemed like everywhere he turned, the scary-looking shadow followed him. Finally, he realized he had nowhere left to go and turned to face the creature. He then gasped as it floated toward him. It was smaller, it seemed, than it appeared to be- projecting shadows on the walls from the streetlights had made it seem much more sinister.

'Why are you following me?' he whispered to the creature, before taking a closer look at it. There was something familiar about its eyes... the color of its fur... 'Maria?' Steven asked in wonder. 'Are you... are you the mysterious were sugarglider?' "

[Castle shuts the book and smirks.]

So, quick poll- which would you rather have, a were cuttlefish or a were sugarglider?

Comments

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[goldenglasses]

I don't know. Does a sugarglider give off sugar?

Video

[thebestseller]

No, but they are especially cute. You can actually cuddle with them, unlike cuttlefish.

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[goldenglasses]

Then I think a were sugarglider would be the clear answer. Cute and cuddly? Hard to beat.

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[thebestseller]

Plus, if I were the one who had to transform every month, I'd pick a little rodent any day. That way I could be admired and cuddled instead of having people run away from me.

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[goldenglasses]

Yeah, the poor cuttlefish. No one would ever want to be that over a sugarglider!


...at least, no one said that they would yet, right?

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[thebestseller]

Not yet. I'm sure someone out there would rather be one, though. Come to think of it, being a cuttlefish on the planet of the fish people would be an advantage.

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[goldenglasses]

Can sugar gliders swim? I'm guessing they fly or at least glide.

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[thebestseller]

I think they're strictly land creatures, so they'd be at a disadvantage here. Imagine being a little rodent trying to swim.

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[goldenglasses]

Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, I've seen cats wet and they never look very happy.

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[thebestseller]

Plus you'd be a target for predators. I'd be scared out of my wits.

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[goldenglasses]

Unless you got a comfy life with a family who loves you! Then you don't have to worry so much about predators!

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[thebestseller]

Now, see, I could get behind that idea. I've always wanted a dog, but I'd settle for going for the other side of the coin and being someone's pet sugarglider.

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[goldenglasses]

Especially if I'm a really cute girl's sugarglider. They always spoil their pets.

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[thebestseller]

Mmm, living in the lap of luxury. Of course, I'd like it just fine if I was my fiance's pet, too.

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[goldenglasses]

Then I'll happy take care of all the other single, beautiful women.

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[thebestseller]

Someone's gotta do it, after all.

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[goldenglasses]

It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the good of the world! It won't be easy, but I think I can do it!

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[thebestseller]

You're good people.

[universal_charm]

Sugarglider. You can cuddle people as a sugarglider.

_{[ A pause. ]}

Is that one of your earlier works then?

[thebestseller]

I wish I could say I was reponsible for this quality literature, but it came from a vending machine.

[universal_charm]

Oh well that makes much more sense. Everyone knows the best literature comes from vending machines.

[thebestseller]

I agree. It's so easy to read and mock.

[universal_charm]

Mockery is the truest form of flattery.

[thebestseller]

Plus, I feel like that's one of the ways you know you've made it. When your work is noteworthy enough to be mocked... then you know you've made a big impression.

[universal_charm]

Still waiting for that particular day, huh?

[thebestseller]

Oh, that hurts and stings.

[universal_charm]

This universe just hasn't quite realized your talent yet,

[thebestseller]

I dunno, my string of best sellers back home might say otherwise. Of course, I have yet to be recognized in THIS universe.

[universal_charm]

Just give it time. You'll show up in every vending machine in the galaxy soon enough.

[thebestseller]

For all you know, I'm already there. I haven't stopped writing, after all.

[universal_charm]

Leaving a trail of vending machine books in your wake, eh?

[thebestseller]

All full of whatever strange were-creatures I can think of. It's an easy enough premise to repeat, but it's also challenging to try and suss out how a romance between a human and a were-mouse would work out.

[universal_charm]

It all started with a little bit of cheese on a quiet night just before Christmas....

[thebestseller]

... hey, maybe Santa Claus is a were-mouse. It'll be a surefire hit. He's cured of his condition by the power of love and cookies.

[universal_charm]

Cookies baked by a handsome red head? Since I'm pretty sure red is Santa's favorite color.

[thebestseller]

Mmmmm, yes. Who has a cheesy holiday-themed name, like Holly. Or Kris Kringle.

[universal_charm]

Instant vending machine hit.

[thebestseller]

I'd better get on it, then. Need to be rolling in credits in case I decide to get another cool augment upgrade.

[universal_charm]

'Cool' huh? And which one would that be?

[thebestseller]

I can generate fire now. Not a whole lot, but enough to light something on fire if I really wanted to.

[universal_charm]

Like a manuscript when you get frustrated?

[thebestseller]

Mmmmmaybe. As long as I had a backup, because I feel like every time I write a book I go through that "this is crap, everything I write is crap" stage, so if I burned it all, I'd never publish a thing again.

[universal_charm]

Wait - do you hand write everything? I was sure they definitely had computers in your era. Or at least type writers.

[thebestseller]

Oh, no, I definitely type it out. I mean metaphorical burning here.

[universal_charm]

Or literal now that you have that upgrade. Just watch out for the toxic gases.