driftfleet | (no subject)

I technically did, but I was here for it. [And not really celebrating anything with anyone at the time though he did go to Winn's New Years party.]

That didn't really count. [ they didn't know each other yet so the gift winn got him was very generic, he wasn't there on christmas morning to have pancakes and open presents with them on the tourist...he demands a do-over! ] We'll do it right this year.

[He gives his shoulder a squeeze.] I'd like that.

Me too. [ he smiles back at him. ] Okay - you ready to do this?

I am very ready for us to stay safe and unharmed. At least without additional harm. [Nodding to Winn's, you know, face.]

[ he high fives ] You can cross that off the list - and we'll toast to no additional harm on that drink.

You make the best plans. Let's get you some bullets and hope our girlfriends don't kill us for this.

I dunno about yours, but mine likes me alive and armed to defend myself.

Mine also likes you alive. I'm less sure about the armed part.

Yeah, she likes me armed with a Kryptonian. Or, you know, hiding behind her.

[ which is rough because he wants to be his own man, his own hero - and it's hard to do when you're being sheltered. but he also doesn't want to fight with kara, she means the world to him and he does get where she's coming from - she makes the same arguments he made to james before he convinced him to join his crusade. they are only human. he doesn't even have his own kickass suit of armor. ]

Has it come up before with you two?

Kara is very...protective. And, you know, she looks at me and she doesn't see how much I improved over the last couple years, she just sees 'vulnerable human'. I'm never gonna have superpowers, so I'm never gonna be her equal. [ and it's hard, feeling like less all the time, feeling like his best friend sees him as less, even when he knows it's objectively true. ]

Not having powers doesn't mean you're not her equal. Kara didn't have powers when she was on Krypton. I didn't have them on Daxam. They don't make you better or more than anyone else. They just make you...different. And Kara is amazing because of what she does with hers, not because she has them. I don't think she'd see you that way. [And he doesn't want to see her that way.]

They make you better at fighting and protecting. I know it's Kara's heart that makes her amazing, but it's also that heart that makes her want to keep us safe. If she gets shot - it bounces off of her. If I get shot in the wrong place - that's it. And I understand that. It's just not a good enough reason for me to stay behind anymore, and it makes her worry because she cares.

[ he gets it, he really does. it just still doesn't make hearing it any easier. he wants her to support him the same way he's supported her. ]

It sounds like you're talking about something that's already been discussed. Did she find out you wanted lessons here or are you talking about something at home that I don't know about yet?

[ he falls quiet for a while. ]

Sorry. Told you the being ahead thing - it's nothing but stress. [ home, definitely home. kara knows about his self defense lessons (not the shooting yet, but the ones with jim at least) and she's never objected to them, he doesn't think she ever will - cuz they're theory. they're sport. they're a useful skill to have while he waits for her to get to him. ]

You don't have to keep it a secret. [Looking at him as if waiting for more.]

[ he gets a look in return. ]

Neither do you. [ what, you think he magically forgot that you're sitting on a secret that's causing you pain? un-bloody-likely. ]

That's how it's going to be? [His secret for Winn's?]

No. It's just good advice, I thought you should hear it. [ he still can't tell his secret because it's not just his secret - he'll be outing james. on intergalactic television. what if it makes the atroma take interest in him and abduct him? no, he's not putting a friend at risk just so he could feel a little better. ]

What's if it's not good advice? [What if he loses everything?]

[ he sighs ] Look, Mon-El, I'll tell you something that being the son of a psychopath taught me - If you can't trust your friends, if you can't trust the woman you love to love you no matter what - then it's not gonna last anyway. The truth comes out one way or another, especially here. The truth will sound a lot better coming from you.

[He looks at Winn thoughtfully before nodding and ducking his head, because Winn is probably right, but Mon-El is still worried to do it. When is the right moment for maybe losing her? Maybe losing everyone who is friends with her too? Being alone again.] I'll keep that in mind.

[ he pats his back. ]

It'll be okay - come here - [ he gets a hug because he really looks like he needs one. he should probably worry about what kind of secret warrants that much fear - but he really can't imagine mon-el doing anything that bad. he believes in his friend, he wishes mon-el could believe in them too if only so he could stop hurting himself by holding it in and depriving himself of comfort he clearly needs - but he knows it's not that easy. if it were, he wouldn't be sitting on secrets himself. ]

[The hug is unexpected but very welcome as he hugs back, careful not to crush any of Winn's ribs. When he pulls back he does so with some pats to his back.] Okay, let's get you those bullets so you can buy me a drink. [A drink sounds good!]