driftfleet | Ninth Blight

Who: Riona, a crate of blow up sex dolls, and you
Broadcast: Yep
Action: On the Blue Fish (any visitors keep in mind, the locks are in place again so someone would need to let them on the ship)
When: Tonight

[The video flickers on, panning to one very, very annoyed queen. Behind her and off to the side is a large crate. It's been opened, and if one looks carefully, they might see what looks like arms and legs flopped over the side. Riona begins opening a letter, her movements jerky.]

Lucky me, it's been so long since I've gotten one of these. They appear to be plastic... dolls, I suppose. You're supposed to fill them with air and they take shape. I highly doubt they sent all of these for me, and thus this broadcast. What their purpose is, though, I do not know. They seem a little large to be for children. This note should be enlightening, I think.

[Riona holds it up and begins reading:]

"For Riona and the other sorrowfully separated or single persons in the fleet-" It's going to be one of those kinds of drops, I see. "We sympathize with your frustration and separation. Have some of our top quality models, free of charge, for those nights where the loneliness just gets to be too much. And for you, Riona - after we saw your awakening from your coma and learned of your heartbreaking situation, we were moved. We created a special model, just for you. We think you'll find the likeness striking. We already blew it up for you, and it's ready for immediate... use..."

You - Maker's breath, are these for what I think they're for? [Riona shakes her head in disbelief.] And what did they mean by-

[Frowning, Riona drops the note and walks over to the crate. Rifling through it for a moment, she eventually goes "Ah, found it, I think". She seems to wrestle with something for a moment until, after a hard pull, she wrenches it free. Out comes a fully blown up doll, well within view of the camera. Those from Thedas might recognize a certain Fereldan king that Riona just so happens to be married to.

Riona's shock quickly turns to red-faced anger as she slams the doll back down into the crate. Her jaw tightens as she turns and heads to the device.]

Whoever helps me push this blighted thing out the airlock gets a free drink on me. [As soon as she tosses out her offer, she shuts the feed off.]

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What has that been about?

[He still has to get used to the older and more serious Riona. But, well, in the end she is still a good friend of him.]

What have they given to you? Another basket of...sexual matters?

[Even though she appears to be offended by the gift, he can't help an amused smile, though.]

Well, I have an alternate offer for you.

[He takes out a big pin, and then solemnly waggles his eyebrows.]

I say we pop them all in solidarity.

[That gets a laugh out of her.]

Oh, that does sound like a grand idea. Still plan on pushing them out the airlock when it's done, though.

The most base and foul of people. Or at least the most depraved.

[She gestures to the crate.]

Help me with this? Then drunken stupor?

With waaaaaay too much time on their hands.

[He nods. ]

I think it's important that I do. For the good of the crew.

Gladly - this is a cruel thing to do, even for them.

The ultimate Maker Forsaken reason, even.

[ Ultimate scheming smile. ]

Do you recognize the man printed there? [ That's the King of Ferelden. Stuffy and bullheaded but undeniably yummy. ]

...do you really, honestly want one? I can save one. But the rest are going.

[Isabela why

Her brow lifts at Isabela's question. She almost wants to snap at her for what she feels must be a deliberate attempt to rile her, until she remembers that Isabela is a more recent arrival, and might not know who exactly she is.]

The one I pulled out? Yes, I do, considering he's my husband.

Something like that. Apparently they're dolls you can have sex with, barring an actual person.

[She glowers a little more at his smile. Right now she is so not amused by any of this.]

And for the good of my sanity and my not breaking things. Luckily, I haven't had people protesting me tossing this out, save for one.

[And Isabela doesn't count, because she's, well, Isabela.

She walks around the crate before bending down and bracing herself against it.]

I'll get the doors and everything. Could just use a hand in getting it there.

You're married to the King of Ferelden?

I feel like this should have come up before in conversation.

Which one of us is really bad at talking?

Blighted, nug-fucking arseholes.

[She gets on the other side of the crate, bracing her arms against it to start pushing.]

And I can't do anything about this besides get rid of it. What I wouldn't give to wring their necks. Or publicly humiliate them. Not my usual method, mind, but Maker it'd be tempting.

I am. Ten years now.

[Time flies.]

Mmmm... I don't think I brought it up much back. Not something I like parading about, and it's not... easily brought up in casual conversation.

But I should think you'd have spoken up when I mentioned our adventures together.

...I have mentioned when I went on an adventure with King Alistair, haven't I? Varric was along too.

No, you didn't, but I know about it from Alistair.

[She smiles a little.]

I meant to ask you about that, actually. See if it happened in your Thedas. That answers my question.

He told you how it all ends, then?

Well, now I'm concerned about spoilers. We haven't found dear old Maric yet back home.

Ah, you were still in the midst of it when you were brought here? What had just happened?

We just escaped the Qunari and Sten-who-isn't-Sten-anymore-because-Qunari-Names-Are-Stupid.

There was fighting, torture, interrogation. Perhaps the tiniest, barely noticeable begruding amount of character growth.

I hear it's Arishok now. I'm sorry I wasn't there to see him again.

[She misses that insufferable stick in the mud.]

Ah, yes. Nothing like some good old fashioned hardship to force you into growth. Not a fun time for any of you. That all happened about two or so years ago, for me.

...I admit, you're not what I imagine when I think 'Ferelden Queen.'

But then, Alistair isn't what I think of when I think 'Ferelden King.'

Hmm. She has been here quite a long time, so perhaps or perhaps not? It wouldn't hurt to ask, no?

[And mock their fortunes after a few drinks. Or at least her nug suit and the uglier blow up dolls. Perhaps best not to speak of Justinia or Alistair.]

I would hardly be surprised if that was the truth. Atroma does love it's 'ratings'.

[And sometimes they get extra money for it so it was only sort of win-win?]

[Yep, plus that too.

He gives a little "thank you" as he hauls the crate over with ease, and drops it into the airlock chamber with a heavy "thud". As he steps back from it, he seems to be thinking]

Do you think this box will break open while in space?

I get that a lot. We both do. I suppose I should be offended, but I find it works to my advantage better.

Either way, I doubt she'd mind having drinks. Commiserating over them would only be a bonus.

[They finally reach the airlock. Riona grunts as she gets up and goes over to open the door. Now to just push it in.]

I'm going to love seeing this thing get ejected into space.

[Once the crate is inside and Allen is out, she shuts the door and begins hitting the necessary buttons/doodads to open the airlock to vent the crate into space. She pauses at Allen's question, though.]

I am not sure. But frankly, as long as they're not on this ship, I don't care. If someone else comes along and finds them, well... it'll make for interesting conversation.

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