Ninth Blight

[bryces_pup]

Who: Riona, a crate of blow up sex dolls, and you
Broadcast: Yep
Action: On the Blue Fish (any visitors keep in mind, the locks are in place again so someone would need to let them on the ship)
When: Tonight

[The video flickers on, panning to one very, very annoyed queen. Behind her and off to the side is a large crate. It's been opened, and if one looks carefully, they might see what looks like arms and legs flopped over the side. Riona begins opening a letter, her movements jerky.]

Lucky me, it's been so long since I've gotten one of these. They appear to be plastic... dolls, I suppose. You're supposed to fill them with air and they take shape. I highly doubt they sent all of these for me, and thus this broadcast. What their purpose is, though, I do not know. They seem a little large to be for children. This note should be enlightening, I think.

[Riona holds it up and begins reading:]

"For Riona and the other sorrowfully separated or single persons in the fleet-" It's going to be one of those kinds of drops, I see. "We sympathize with your frustration and separation. Have some of our top quality models, free of charge, for those nights where the loneliness just gets to be too much. And for you, Riona - after we saw your awakening from your coma and learned of your heartbreaking situation, we were moved. We created a special model, just for you. We think you'll find the likeness striking. We already blew it up for you, and it's ready for immediate... use..."

You - Maker's breath, are these for what I think they're for? [Riona shakes her head in disbelief.] And what did they mean by-

[Frowning, Riona drops the note and walks over to the crate. Rifling through it for a moment, she eventually goes "Ah, found it, I think". She seems to wrestle with something for a moment until, after a hard pull, she wrenches it free. Out comes a fully blown up doll, well within view of the camera. Those from Thedas might recognize a certain Fereldan king that Riona just so happens to be married to.

Riona's shock quickly turns to red-faced anger as she slams the doll back down into the crate. Her jaw tightens as she turns and heads to the device.]

Whoever helps me push this blighted thing out the airlock gets a free drink on me. [As soon as she tosses out her offer, she shuts the feed off.]

Comments

Video

[bryces_pup]

It would seem not, no.

[Atroma does love kicking her when she's down.]

Had it just been these other dolls, I might have been able to laugh it off, as tasteless as they are. But the insult to Alistair is unforgivable.

Re: Video

[tallasaking]

Well, I have an alternate offer for you.

[He takes out a big pin, and then solemnly waggles his eyebrows.]

I say we pop them all in solidarity.

Video

[bryces_pup]

[That gets a laugh out of her.]

Oh, that does sound like a grand idea. Still plan on pushing them out the airlock when it's done, though.

Re: Video

[tallasaking]

First we pop, then we push. I frankly don't want to send them out into the vacuum of space intact - what if we explode? Then it is ... nude plastic parts all over the place.

[bryces_pup]

Hmm, a fair point. Well, I'll withhold on disposing them until you and that pin arrive. This should be stress- relieving, if nothing else.

[tallasaking]

The important question, Riona ... are we doing this sober?

[Most important question there is.]

[bryces_pup]

You know, I could go for a bottle of wine. Or three. You do realize, though, doing this inebriated may wind up with us sticking ourselves by mistake.

[It's not an objection, just a matter of pointing this out.]

[tallasaking]

Well yes, but we'll be too drunk to care that we're bleeding all over ourselves.

[Is Tyrion's sound reasoning.]

Besides, think of it as - ah, what is it called? Acupuncture?

[bryces_pup]

Very excellent point.

[She blinks.]

I've... never heard of it, so I couldn't say. I take it that it involves pointy things somehow?

[tallasaking]

Very excellent point once more.

[A nod.]

You put needles in your skin. Helps relieve stress and other things.

[bryces_pup]

That... seems like it would accomplish the opposite.

[These people with their weird, modern... things.]

I will be in the cargo bay on the Blue Fish, when you fancy stopping over. Let me know when you arrive. Sokka reinstated the locks recently, and you won't be able to get in unless someone lets you on.

[tallasaking]

Yes, such things are rather odd ...

[As much as he loves technology, it does still throw him from time to time.]

Consider me there in the next hour.

[bryces_pup]

I'll keep an eye out, and see if I can dig up some wine.

[tallasaking]

This ...is why you are an amazing person

[bryces_pup]

I do try. I'll see you soon, Tyrion.

[Riona will wait for him in the cargo bay, ready to let him in whenever he arrives. She's managed to scrounge up some wine, the bottle propped up against the offending crate.]

[tallasaking]

[It is like the bottle of wine called to him - a siren call. He appears, with two large pins in hand - and a mock solemn look on his face.]

Shall we dispose of the evidence?

[bryces_pup]

Let's.

[Riona lets him in, leading him over to the crate. She picks up the bottle, popping it open and taking a swig from it.]

Sorry, no glasses. I'm not feeling very classy.

[tallasaking]

[He takes the bottle from her, takes a swig in turn, then swallows with a smirk.]

Classy is not necessary for what we are doing.

[He offers the pin.]

Let us get to work.

[bryces_pup]

[She takes the offered pin with a dramatic bow of her head. Leaning over the crate, she goes, of course, for the doll of her husband.]

...I almost feel bad about doing this to him, but, an insult is an insult, and I will not let it stand.

[She jabs the pin into his arm, watching and listening to him deflate into a puddle of plastic.]

[tallasaking]

Never feel sorry for putting a lost soul out of its misery.

[Tyrion took a swing of wine and started working on the rest.]

[bryces_pup]

Too true. I am a little sorry he's not here to see this. Despite how grievously insulting it all is, his reaction would have been priceless.

[She starts popping some herself, smiling as she hears the air hiss as it escapes.]