005. video + action.

[astrobleme]

Who: Shinji Ikari and you?!
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: On the Heron. If any of Shinji's crew members want their own costume (see below), feel free to claim one.
When: Right around now.

[network.]

[Where the heck is that music coming from?

Unaware that he's being filmed, Shinji wanders into the cargo bay of the Heron, following the muddled melody that's been plaguing him for a few minutes now. He stops dead in his tracks when he comes across--that. That rather large cardboard box with his name clearly plastered on the side. The music seems to be emanating from inside, on a loop.]

Well, that's not ominous at all, [he says dryly.

There's a large blue card attached to the top, which he steps up to and plucks off. As he reads from it, the messages inside flash across the video feed:]

- Shinji Ikari, you're not being true to yourself.
- There's something you've been hiding from everyone around you.
- But it's all right: we understand, and we want to help you.
- This should allow you get in touch with your inner desires.
- Your new life starts now! And don't forget to bring your friends!
- Brought to you by your sponsor: Made Fur You Incorporated.

[All of the sudden, the cardboard box falls to pieces, revealing a bunch of smaller boxes, each with preview pictures and labels stamped on the front. Kaworu: Arctic Fox Costume tumbles on top of Shinji: Azure Moth Costume, and both of those bounce around Asuka: Brown Cow Costume. There are additional costumes for members of the Heron crew, even.]

Oh, come on. I've been waiting more than a year for a sponsor, and this is what I get?

[Shinji sighs to himself, disappointed, and that's when he notices he's already broadcasting to the Fleet's network. God damn it.]

H-Hey! I don't want any of this stuff! Seriously! How do I send it back?

Comments

video

[interstices]

What the hell?

[For one extremely insane moment, she's very concerned that this is all about him being an Angel, "fur" aside, and then....]

[And then the costume.]

[Costumes. As in, one for her.]

[Fur her?]

What kind of inner desires do you have?!

[astrobleme]

[Oh, of course. Of course this was going to happen next.]

I don't have any inner desires! [he protests, increasingly red-faced.] This is some kind of horrible mistake, so just forget about it!

[interstices]

[Asuka's swathed from forehead to shoulder in vibrant, humiliated red. Her face feels like it might boil off of her as she almost recoils and then lunges back in front of the device like a dog hunting a rabbit.]

They gave you a moth costume! They gave me a cow costume! How am I supposed to forget about that?!

[astrobleme]

[Shinji covers his face with one hand, unable to believe any of this. He just wanted a cool sponsor drop, like a high-powered telescope...]

M-Maybe you have a thing for cows you've never told anybody! How am I supposed to know? But I definitely don't want anything to do with moths or costumes or--anything!

[interstices]

[Shinji might as well have painted a target on his back and handed Asuka a bow and arrow. She barely lets him get through his last word before shrilly screaming back--]

I do not have a thing for cows, asshole! I've never even seen one! You're the one they sent this to, pervert!

[astrobleme]

I am not a pervert! I didn't ask for this! I never asked for any of this...!

[The camera's view jerks to the side as Shinji kicks around a few of the boxes, beyond exasperated.]

I'd rather eat a cow than see you dress up as one...

[interstices]

You what?

[astrobleme]

[A long, long sigh.]

I said... I'd rather eat a cow. Hamburger and steaks, you know. You'd probably look really stupid in the costume, so it's just whatever.

voice;

[sylphid]

Oh, that looks cozy.

[Bright side...?]

voice;

[astrobleme]

Cozy? Are you being serious right now?

[Shinji would never admit it in a million years, but that azure moth costume does look pretty soft and comfortable. The preview picture suggests there's a ton of padding and fake fur all over it. The antennae are extremely fuzzy, too.]

[interstices]

[Asuka's normally tenuous grip on logic, coupled with a hair-trigger superiority complex, has just sealed Shinji's doom. Even as she repeats his last words, her face has gone from an interesting shade of red to something closer to purple, and her eyes are bright and flashing.]

It's just whatever, huh? How would you know?!

[astrobleme]

[Every so often, Shinji can feel like he's totally lost control of a conversation with Asuka. This is one of those times. It takes him a couple seconds to reply, and rather dubiously at that.]

Well, it's not like you're going to wear it, so it doesn't matter either way...

voice;

[sylphid]

Mhm. Space gets cold, and more blankets or whatever aren't a bad thing.

If you don't want it, I can take it off your hands.

[astrobleme]

I think this is a little more involved than a blanket. You're supposed to wear it. For some reason. [...] I might've dressed up as a cat once for Halloween, but that was waaay different than this.

[interstices]

That's what you think.

[Be prepared, Shinji. In the next several minutes, she's making her way over.]

[sylphid]

That's fine. [Without skipping a beat. She really has no shame or standards sometimes. Mostly it's to her benefit.] I like the color, too.

[Hmm.] Would you have preferred a cat costume?

[astrobleme]

[...

There's no hiding how incredulous he is right now:]

Don't tell me you want to wear it just to prove you don't look stupid in it.

[Asuka's superiority complex has always been out of control, but this is just a new level entirely, he thinks.]

[astrobleme]

I'll... get back to you on that. For all I know, there's somebody who actually wants to keep their costume. [Kaworu is the first person to come to mind, as depressing as that is. Arctic fox, huh...

So ridiculous.]

No, no way, I wouldn't have. But a cat is way better than a moth. I mean, who even likes moths? Don't they just fly around everywhere and get in your clothes?

video --> ac...tion...

[interstices]

You stay right there!

[She doesn't give him a chance to respond and, of course, doesn't answer his question, either-- what she's doing is about to be obvious enough. One shuttle flight later and she's stomped her way onto the cargo bay, scrambling through the boxes to find hers again. She barely even looks at the preview picture-- just her name as she tears the cardboard to absolute shreds-- and Shinji, of course, fingers actually twitching as she pulls apart the box.]

We'll see who looks stupid, you moron!

[sylphid]

They're kinda fun. I wouldn't be shocked if someone did.

[That makes her pause, actually taken aback by his sudden hatred for them?] Some are pretty, and they can eat the bugs that really bother people. I think they're neat.

[astrobleme]

[It isn't that Shinji hates moths--he just associates most bugs with uncleanliness. And if something isn't clean, that's really bothersome for him.]

Well, I guess so... [...] There weren't that many different kinds of bugs where I'm from. A lot of them died off. The ecosystem was all messed up for a while. So they're important, but, I don't know... still kind of creepy...

[sylphid]

[Shinji should be able to almost hear the shrug in her voice.]

Everyone's from a different place pretty much, so it's not too weird to have stuff like that. Maybe someone knows someone who was eaten by a giant moth.

[She is such a helper.]

[astrobleme]

A giant moth that eats people? That's... [Jeez...] You make that sound like it's just some ordinary turn of events.

video.

[paraclete]

[Kaworu's little smile, a more specific bit of curvature compared to the vagueness of his usual pleasantries, says it all.]

Neat.

[It also says absolutely nothing. Or maybe it really is as simple as acceptance? Unfortunately, that means Kaworu could be buying into this mess, so...]

video.

[astrobleme]

[...]

It's not what it looks like, Kaworu-kun. I don't even know what's going on.

[Shinji has calmed down a little, but that doesn't mean he's any less on edge. He frowns nervously.]