005. video + action.

[astrobleme]

Who: Shinji Ikari and you?!
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: On the Heron. If any of Shinji's crew members want their own costume (see below), feel free to claim one.
When: Right around now.

[network.]

[Where the heck is that music coming from?

Unaware that he's being filmed, Shinji wanders into the cargo bay of the Heron, following the muddled melody that's been plaguing him for a few minutes now. He stops dead in his tracks when he comes across--that. That rather large cardboard box with his name clearly plastered on the side. The music seems to be emanating from inside, on a loop.]

Well, that's not ominous at all, [he says dryly.

There's a large blue card attached to the top, which he steps up to and plucks off. As he reads from it, the messages inside flash across the video feed:]

- Shinji Ikari, you're not being true to yourself.
- There's something you've been hiding from everyone around you.
- But it's all right: we understand, and we want to help you.
- This should allow you get in touch with your inner desires.
- Your new life starts now! And don't forget to bring your friends!
- Brought to you by your sponsor: Made Fur You Incorporated.

[All of the sudden, the cardboard box falls to pieces, revealing a bunch of smaller boxes, each with preview pictures and labels stamped on the front. Kaworu: Arctic Fox Costume tumbles on top of Shinji: Azure Moth Costume, and both of those bounce around Asuka: Brown Cow Costume. There are additional costumes for members of the Heron crew, even.]

Oh, come on. I've been waiting more than a year for a sponsor, and this is what I get?

[Shinji sighs to himself, disappointed, and that's when he notices he's already broadcasting to the Fleet's network. God damn it.]

H-Hey! I don't want any of this stuff! Seriously! How do I send it back?

Comments

video

[interstices]

What the hell?

[For one extremely insane moment, she's very concerned that this is all about him being an Angel, "fur" aside, and then....]

[And then the costume.]

[Costumes. As in, one for her.]

[Fur her?]

What kind of inner desires do you have?!

[astrobleme]

[Oh, of course. Of course this was going to happen next.]

I don't have any inner desires! [he protests, increasingly red-faced.] This is some kind of horrible mistake, so just forget about it!

[interstices]

[Asuka's swathed from forehead to shoulder in vibrant, humiliated red. Her face feels like it might boil off of her as she almost recoils and then lunges back in front of the device like a dog hunting a rabbit.]

They gave you a moth costume! They gave me a cow costume! How am I supposed to forget about that?!

[astrobleme]

[Shinji covers his face with one hand, unable to believe any of this. He just wanted a cool sponsor drop, like a high-powered telescope...]

M-Maybe you have a thing for cows you've never told anybody! How am I supposed to know? But I definitely don't want anything to do with moths or costumes or--anything!

[interstices]

[Shinji might as well have painted a target on his back and handed Asuka a bow and arrow. She barely lets him get through his last word before shrilly screaming back--]

I do not have a thing for cows, asshole! I've never even seen one! You're the one they sent this to, pervert!

[astrobleme]

I am not a pervert! I didn't ask for this! I never asked for any of this...!

[The camera's view jerks to the side as Shinji kicks around a few of the boxes, beyond exasperated.]

I'd rather eat a cow than see you dress up as one...

[interstices]

You what?

voice;

[sylphid]

Oh, that looks cozy.

[Bright side...?]

voice;

[astrobleme]

Cozy? Are you being serious right now?

[Shinji would never admit it in a million years, but that azure moth costume does look pretty soft and comfortable. The preview picture suggests there's a ton of padding and fake fur all over it. The antennae are extremely fuzzy, too.]

voice;

[sylphid]

Mhm. Space gets cold, and more blankets or whatever aren't a bad thing.

If you don't want it, I can take it off your hands.

[astrobleme]

I think this is a little more involved than a blanket. You're supposed to wear it. For some reason. [...] I might've dressed up as a cat once for Halloween, but that was waaay different than this.

[sylphid]

That's fine. [Without skipping a beat. She really has no shame or standards sometimes. Mostly it's to her benefit.] I like the color, too.

[Hmm.] Would you have preferred a cat costume?

[astrobleme]

I'll... get back to you on that. For all I know, there's somebody who actually wants to keep their costume. [Kaworu is the first person to come to mind, as depressing as that is. Arctic fox, huh...

So ridiculous.]

No, no way, I wouldn't have. But a cat is way better than a moth. I mean, who even likes moths? Don't they just fly around everywhere and get in your clothes?

video.

[paraclete]

[Kaworu's little smile, a more specific bit of curvature compared to the vagueness of his usual pleasantries, says it all.]

Neat.

[It also says absolutely nothing. Or maybe it really is as simple as acceptance? Unfortunately, that means Kaworu could be buying into this mess, so...]

video.

[astrobleme]

[...]

It's not what it looks like, Kaworu-kun. I don't even know what's going on.

[Shinji has calmed down a little, but that doesn't mean he's any less on edge. He frowns nervously.]

[paraclete]

[. . .

And yet Kaworu still looks entirely content.]

Wondering what another life is like isn't unusual. Being proactive and actually finding out sounds fun.

[astrobleme]

[Only Nagisa Kaworu could make this insanity out to be something reasonable. Also, Shinji's face feels like it's going to burst into flames.]

But I don't want to find out about moths! I don't even like moths. This sponsor must have mistaken me for somebody else in the Fleet and--

[Unfortunately, Shinji's embarrassed rambling ends up sounding more incriminating than not.]

[paraclete]

I like moths.

[It's a direct statement, cutting clean into the protests. Most other situations would have Kaworu proclaiming that moths are "nice", his word choice encouraging but tepid, and yet...

He settles his chin against a hand.]

What do you want to find out about?

[astrobleme]

[Shinji pauses in his blabbering, maybe a little thrown off.]

You like everything, though...

[He would be willing to bet that Kaworu could look at a radioactive lizard and still find something admirable about it. In any case, the irritation is already leaving him: he's deflating, little by little, with his gaze angled elsewhere.]

I don't know. Not moths. I haven't really given any thought to bugs--they're just kind of there, and annoying. I got stung by a bee once and that was bad enough.

Action

[stabsbothways]

'Crimson Vixen Summer,' oh my.

[ She turns the box over in her hands. ]

I suppose I'm flattered?

[astrobleme]

[That vixen costume thing sounds, uh... well... risqué. Shinji's cheeks are already pink.]

I don't know what the point of all this is, but it's yours if you want it. [More of a mumble:] I just hope I can get a different sponsor somehow...

[stabsbothways]

I'm never one to throw away free things, especially if it involves potential wardrobe expansion. The gray jumpsuits are simply unacceptable.

[ She tucks the box under one arm. ]

So can you explain to me this 'sponsor' thing? Why is everyone suddenly getting all these deliveries? I recall that Fenris mentioned getting his treasure trove of trashy tracts from one.

[astrobleme]

Yeah, those jumpsuits are just the worst...

[Shinji rubs at the back of his neck, all nervous energy.]

I don't know all that much about the sponsors. The Fleet probably has some advertising agreement with different companies and corporations and whatever. They'll send free stuff to people at random--although, yeah, it's been happening way more frequently lately. It's all about showing off their stuff, I guess. To the audience. The one that's watching us right now.

[It's still very weird to think about, when he stops think about it.]

I was hoping for a free telescope.

[stabsbothways]

It's hard for me to imagine that, I suppose. This makes it a bit more real, doesn't it?

[ A box of shit supposedly sent from their 'fans.' ]

To look at the stars?

[astrobleme]

I'm still kind of expecting this to turn out to be a dream. Or purgatory. I don't know.

[If he had been dead all along, that would make a heck of a lot of sense. Anyway,]

Yeah, I really like the stars. They're not the stars I grew up with, I know that, but... they give me the same feelings.