005. video + action.

[astrobleme]

Who: Shinji Ikari and you?!
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: On the Heron. If any of Shinji's crew members want their own costume (see below), feel free to claim one.
When: Right around now.

[network.]

[Where the heck is that music coming from?

Unaware that he's being filmed, Shinji wanders into the cargo bay of the Heron, following the muddled melody that's been plaguing him for a few minutes now. He stops dead in his tracks when he comes across--that. That rather large cardboard box with his name clearly plastered on the side. The music seems to be emanating from inside, on a loop.]

Well, that's not ominous at all, [he says dryly.

There's a large blue card attached to the top, which he steps up to and plucks off. As he reads from it, the messages inside flash across the video feed:]

- Shinji Ikari, you're not being true to yourself.
- There's something you've been hiding from everyone around you.
- But it's all right: we understand, and we want to help you.
- This should allow you get in touch with your inner desires.
- Your new life starts now! And don't forget to bring your friends!
- Brought to you by your sponsor: Made Fur You Incorporated.

[All of the sudden, the cardboard box falls to pieces, revealing a bunch of smaller boxes, each with preview pictures and labels stamped on the front. Kaworu: Arctic Fox Costume tumbles on top of Shinji: Azure Moth Costume, and both of those bounce around Asuka: Brown Cow Costume. There are additional costumes for members of the Heron crew, even.]

Oh, come on. I've been waiting more than a year for a sponsor, and this is what I get?

[Shinji sighs to himself, disappointed, and that's when he notices he's already broadcasting to the Fleet's network. God damn it.]

H-Hey! I don't want any of this stuff! Seriously! How do I send it back?

Comments

[interstices]

[Asuka's about to yell at him some more-- see how the fans like that-- but the sight of him collapsed on the floor with the costume is enough to tame her own sputtering considerably. Of course, it's only tamed down to laughter.]

Shut up-- [between giggles, as she picks up the head herself and, looking at it, tosses it too easily across the room] It's-- it's-- ridiculous--

[astrobleme]

[Shinji sits up, glaring daggers at Asuka, and then... he covers his mouth and tries to squash his own laughter. Hopeless. Around giggles, he says,] You're the one who's being ridiculous. I don't know what the heck you were thinking.

[He looks over at the rest of the boxes, with their mildly alarming labels.]

Hey, should we see what mine looks like?

[If nothing else, maybe it'll be good for another laugh. Just maybe. Or maybe he'll want to cry. Either way.]

[interstices]

Yours is a moth, right?

[It can't be any more awful than what she's encountered. Or can it? Asuka scrunches up her face as she finds the box and tosses it to him.]

You do the honors. It's your desires.

[astrobleme]

[Shinji's reflexes don't fail him this time: he catches the box easily, then looks at the clearly printed label, smiling at the sheer absurdity of it.] Azure moth, [he says, in danger of more giggling.] I get the feeling this sponsor just picked animals and stuff at random...

[He rips off the packing tape, unfolds the box's flaps, and... oh dear god. His cheeks redden from a combination of embarrassment and indignation at the sight of the azure moth's headpiece. It's just as overdone and cartoonish as the brown cow, with a goofy snout, extra-large eyes, and feathery antennae. It's definitely blue all over. Dear god.

He sighs audibly.] I regret everything about this.

[interstices]

Ew.

[What's he going to even do with this thing? Asuka stares at those freakishly-sized eyes, entire face locked in a grimace, and shakes her head.]

Could you take it apart? For sewing.