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Who: Maedhros
Broadcast: Fleetwide~
Action: On the S.S. Huntress.
When: Friday morning.

The best secrets are never told; they are buried down deep and killed before they reach the lips.

(His family has many such secrets and he has added a vault or two of his own to them. He also knows the power of denial. A secret can't hurt if you believe it isn't real.)

I am experienced with secrets and lies. There are not any that could hurt me now. However...

Those rumors relating to my family shall do them no harm. If they were heard, you will forget them.

(There is a steely glint to his eyes now; threatening, mad.)

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I won't be long.

{Fingon closes the link before self-consciously smoothing robes and hair as he leaves his room for his cousin's. He knocks lightly, trying to ignore the nervous flutter of his heart.}

{He paces in his quarters, unwilling to look at his appearance in a mirror - though he thinks he probably should. He knows what he will see, however, and the prospect is frightening. An old hope has been kindled within him; a hope he has ignored for years.

I am twisted. Wrong. I must protect him. Yet with how Fingon spoke, he must see him.

His hand shakes as he pulls open the door. The face that greets him on the other side is more lovely than ever. He does not speak at first - instead, he draws Fingon inside by tugging on his arm.}

Tell me how you feel honestly.

Edited 2017-04-19 01:25 (UTC)

{Fingon has never seen Maedhros as twisted or evil. He's always been a beacon of light, safety, and joy.

And yet there's been a hint around the edges of possibilities. So he's left with nervous energy and he manages not to shift his weight from foot to foot. He doesn't need any coaxing, only steps inside before resting a gentle hand on Maedhros' chest.}

I feel safest and happiest when I am with you. We could be in danger, and I would not care so long as you were with me.

{A gentle warmth floods him at the soft touch and he covers the hand on his chest with his own, certain that Fingon can feel how his heart flies. He remembers when the raiders attacked; Fingon had been so steady even after being stabbed. Was that because they were fighting together?}

Are you attracted to me? Much of me is missing or scarred. You have seen much of it with your own eyes...

{There'd been nothing to fear once Maedhros had found Fingon. He'd stopped worrying, had only acted to help his family in removing the threats.

His fingers curl gently and his gaze falls to their hands. He turns his hand over and entwines their fingers.}

You have always been beautiful to me. Now is no different than when your skin was unmarred and you were whole.

...I confess to not having thought much about binding myself to another like my parents did.

(His emotions are building like flames consuming kindling; first and foremost is his hope for a future that does not include only pain and loneliness. But that isn't for him to desire, is it? How can he dare...?

He smiles brokenly as their fingers slide together.) I have not either.

(He falters, frowning.) No, that isn't entirely true. I thought of it once and I knew then that I was depraved. So I put it out of my mind.

{Maedhros has always burned brighter and hotter than Fingon. It's one of the many things which have made it impossible to ignore him. He takes a calming breath, stepping closer.

He looks up, eyes growing a touch wide.} Truly? Maitimo, you have never been cruel or twisted to me. You have only treated me gently. I meant it when I told you I only feel safe when I am with you. You hold my complete trust.

(A wild flame, he thinks; a flame that can protect and demolish all in one fell swoop. The proximity ensures he cannot take his eyes off of Fingon's face. Eru help him, he has loved those eyes, the shape of Fingon's nose, his lips... The way his cheeks flush with color... His heart aches so much it is physically painful.)

...which is why I should protect you from your greatest threat, perhaps. Myself. (The words are choked and incredibly unhappy.)

{Not Fingon. He's always believed and trusted that, even after learning of all the terrible things his dear cousins had done.

Determination touches those eyes Maedhros is so focused on and Fingon reaches up to cup a scarred cheek, thumb brushing over his lips.}

You have never harmed me. I know you never will. Please do not torture yourself by denying what might give us joy if we let it.

(Madness is no excuse for murder. The things he did for the Oath are unspeakable and he understands, as he examines them, why the Valar would bar him from having a marriage.

He tries to ignore how good the simplest of touches feel when they come from Fingon, but his traitorous heart will not allow it. Instead he kisses the thumb, brow furrowing.)

Joy and sorrow, Finno. Tis the sorrow that frightens me for your sake.

{What is barred to Maedhros, Fingon considers barred for himself. He refuses to leave his beloved cousins alone.

He reaches to cup the tall Elf's face, cradling it gently as he meets his cousin's gaze.}

Sorrow is what I face when I am parted from you, Maitimo. Joy is when I am with you. Are my songs not brighter when we are together? Can you not see? {What he'd denied out of innocence is now blatantly clear and he won't turn his back now. Even if he's nervous, and perhaps a little afraid everything is about to come crashing down around them.}

(His cousin has strong hands - hands that can and have seen battle - but they are incredibly gentle too. Maedhros wishes he could explore them with his lips, finding all of the calluses and smoothing them with kisses.

I have no right! He mentally jerks himself awake from his daydream, flushing.)

I see. (And it breaks his heart that he cannot give Fingon all he deserves from a partner. His arms slip around the smaller Elf and embrace him to his chest.) I will not have you sorrowful. Will you stay the night?

Edited 2017-04-21 02:59 (UTC)

{He'd be welcome to. And more. Fingon won't push him away. He traces his cousin's features, the flush earns a soft smile.

All he wants is what Maedhros can give him. He won't ask for more. He slips his arms around Maedhros' neck, leaning comfortably into the embrace with a low hum of contentment.}

Gladly. {He might even actually sleep!}

(His skin tingles, coming to life under Fingon's hands. Eyes half-lidded, he turns his head, carefully, to kiss a palm and then a fingertip.

Then he is happily nestled in an embrace, his left hand moving in soothing motions over Fingon's back.)

Make yourself comfortable. I will watch over you tonight.

{Fingon smiles, tightening his embrace.}

I'm in good hands.

Well you're in a good hand. The other one isn't really mine. (He chuckles.)

{A fond grin.} I always have been, even if you don't see it or agree.

Only because you are strong enough to catch yourself when I fumble. (Self-loathing will always be a thing.)

If I am strong enough, it is because I have had good examples. {And Fingon looks pointedly at Maedhros at this.}

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