driftfleet | Heron Mingle

[Natasha goes to his quarters first. Possibly because she had the hunch he'd be there, but more likely because she was still toying with the idea of leaving a note on his pillow, something like that. Which would explain why she doesn't knock, if it weren't for the fact she definitely heard the music playing softly from the hall.

She doesn't, however, come in immediately, lingering in the entrance.]

Mind some company?

[ His hand stills, lifting the pen from the paper as he looks up. He could feel the shift in space by the doorway before she spoke, but it doesn't unnerve him like it would have for anyone else. People make noise intentionally, though not people like them. If anything, he's edging toward relief at her presence, though he keeps the expression off his face.

He gives her a single nod, shifting his legs so she can sit on the bed if she wants. If she wants to continue to linger by the door, that's just fine, though he wouldn't mind her coming closer. It's been a few days since he's seen her- seen anyone not on his crew, really. ]

[She sees the invitation when he moves and, after a brief hesitation, takes it, crossing the room to settle at the foot of his bed. Her posture makes her look small. Not smaller than she is, but compared to her normal presence, it's notable.

When she speaks, Natasha makes it clear his absence has been noted.] Haven't seen you in the gym for a while.

[ Natasha sits, and some of the tension eases from his back. He didn't realize that it was there until he moved. How long has he been holed up? The communicator is near to where she's sitting and he hasn't felt the need to look at it recently.

He frowns, brow pinching as he's called out for his disappearing act. Honestly, he hadn't thought it would have been noticed. It happened, occasionally. ]

Sorry. Haven't managed to get over there. [ Hasn't felt like he should leave. Couldn't stand the thought of going near the places that he and Charles would haunt together on the Iskaulit. Go by that unfinished mural that falls on his shoulders, now. ]

Don't apologize. Wasn't like you stood me up for a date.

[She knows how it can be, can easily imagine what he's been doing. And his face confirms her suspicions it didn't occur to hi he'd be missed.

If it were anyone else, she'd assume his angst was like Steve's, from the way the heist went down. And she's sure that's not making him any happier. But the two of them, unlike Steve, would have known going into it that this was a possible outcome.

After a deep breath, she decides not to play dumb about his mood.] I saw the crew list. I'm sorry. I know you were close.

[She doesn't ask how he's doing, because that's obvious.]

[ The way things ended up with the heist was a setback, but there's always going to be a chance for a negative solution. They had gained a lot, but of course something had to knock their progress off its axis. Of course that doesn't make things better, but no one in the fleet had died, so it could have been worse.

It's hard to put into words just why he's so bothered by them leaving. Not many people are aware of how much Charles had helped him- had tried to bring him back when he'd glitched and after, helping him find out who he was as a person. It may not have made sense to Steve or even Peggy as to why he of all people would trust a telepath so much, but after Jim, Charles's opinion is the one he's held in the highest regard. ]

They can be with the students, now.

[Natasha couldn't picture herself putting that much trust in someone who could read her mind, but she respected Charles from their few conversations. All that was beside the point, though; what made sense to her was that Charles had become incredibly important to Barnes, and that in return Charles had been one of Bucky's most sincere defenders when Natasha herself was suspicious of him.]

I'm sure they'll be glad for that. Doesn't mean it's not a loss for you.

[ The funny thing was, he hadn't expected it, either. Charles had wormed his way into Winter's heart, and now he was an important part of it. He's gone now, and while it hurts, Bucky will move on eventually. Either because Charles will show back up, or because time will pass and the loss will hurt less. ]

I'll miss them, but I'll get over it.

[ Eventually. Losing those close bonds still hurts. ]

[Natasha inclines her head a little. She doesn't argue with him about his feelings, and she doesn't pry. She could have coaxed—she's good at coaxing—but he would have seen through that.

But the fact he says he'll get over it is enough confirmation that he's in pain now.]

Want me to stay for a bit? You've already spent a lot of time alone.

[ Feelings are hard to express, though he has been working on voicing them more often. Somewhat easier with the recent memories of home. He feels a little less blocked up than he had before, but it still feels like treading water. Perhaps he should feel weak that he's put himself in a vulnerable position in front of Natasha, but he doesn't. Her presence is a relief.

The question throws him off, but he takes no time in nodding once. ]

Please.

[Between the two of them, with Bucky in particular, it seemed easier to let action speak rather than try to pull the words out of him before he was ready. He he needed to say more, she would be here. But if not, well, there were other ways to be supportive.

She reaches out then, touching his shoulder gently, comfortable with the contact at this point, and tugs him gently toward her. Her body language and the touch say "come here" as clearly as if she'd said it.

If he'll let her, she'll pull him into a hug.]

[ Her intention is clear as day, and at first, he really debates not letting her. The fleeting want for human contact gets the better of him and he scoots close enough that she can pull him into a hug. His own arms come around her back. Slowly, the rest of the tension leaves his spine and he relaxes against her as much as he can without smothering her.

It's stupid, really, how much this helps. He used to go longer periods of time without something as simple as this. Right now, he wants to be selfish. ]

[No rush, and no force. She wraps her arms around him and does her best to take at least some of his weight, literally and metaphorically. She tucks her face against his shoulder, one of her hands rubbing his back soothingly.]

Edited 2017-05-25 04:11 (UTC)

[ He focuses on the motion of her hand across his back and the sound of her heartbeat. One of his hands moves up her back to rest on the nape of her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair.

Time passes, though Bucky's not sure how much, but there doesn't feel like any sort of rush to let go. With a gentle squeeze to her neck, he pulls away with a weary sigh. It doesn't feel like enough for all the emotions flooding his head, but it's not as heavy anymore. ]

«Thank you.»

Edited 2017-05-27 00:12 (UTC)

You're welcome. [She answers him softly, not trying to free herself. Even as he does pull away she finds her hands stay on him, trailing over his shoulder. Her touch is steady, offering whatever comfort she can.] I wanted to help.

[Which is about as close to admitting how soft she's gotten on him. It seems like a weakness, but if it is it's one that makes her feel like she's doing something good.]

« You have. »

[ The touch stays, and it tethers him to the moment. She wants to be here as much as he doesn't want her to leave. Before he gets much further than that, Bucky closes the short distance between them, pressing his lips to hers. No more than a barely-there touch before he's pulled away again. ]

[Natasha asked for this. She doesn't have the right to be surprised. Really, it's not the kiss itself that takes her off guard. Kissing is easy. She'd kissed him before. She'd kissed plenty of other people too. What shocks her is her own response, mild but electric.

She almost chases the kiss when he pulls back, stopping herself before she does more than lean fractionally after him. She freezes then, and an old instinct creeps across the back of her mind, telling her how dangerous that feeling is.

Then she's wrapping her arms around him again, letting the kiss go but hugging him firmly. Hopefully he understands it.]

[ He doesn't expect anything in return, but there's a small part of him that is pleased. She hugs him again and he reciprocates a little more sure than the first time. Actions always speak louder than words, particularly between the two of them.

Bucky doesn't think that it's the current situation that kindles the feeling. It's another creeping footstep down a path they've been taking for a while, now. They've booth made a point now to make their stance clear.

This feels more solid than a kiss. She's here. Still here. ]

[When he responds in kind, it's Natasha's turn to relax. The kiss was sweet, and welcome. But this is comfort, and acceptance, even when she's not putting on a face. She plays roles for everyone, even for her closest friends, Steve, Clint, trying to live up to her potential for them, trying to carry weight for them. Now she's just herself, no front, no banter to evade her real feelings.

It's honest.

She hides her eyes against his shoulder again, huffing something like a laugh. They're a mess. Both of them. At least he has an excuse.]

Heron Mingle

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