stabsbothways (
stabsbothways) wrote in
driftfleet2017-05-21 07:47 pm
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Entry tags:
Heron Mingle
Who: Heron Crew and Guests
Broadcast: n/a
Action: Aboard the Heron
When: May (feel free to backtag)
[ The heron has had a large exodus of people recently, and a few new members. It's almost like a new ship. ]
Broadcast: n/a
Action: Aboard the Heron
When: May (feel free to backtag)
[ The heron has had a large exodus of people recently, and a few new members. It's almost like a new ship. ]
no subject
[ which (contrary to popular belief) is utterly possible. but perhaps only for peggy carter alone to manage.
and as quippy as the line feels, it's meant to convey something else: of those blanks sam wanted filled, concerning the aftermath with steve remembered what had happened? she'd been there; she didn't allow him to carry it alone. ]
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[It's an admirable amount of stubbornness, and one that makes him respect Peggy (as long as she's not being stubborn with him). And he understands what she's getting at, to some extent. It eases some of his concern, but not entirely.]
So, you got any other questions you need answered?
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Now. [ she sits up a little straighter. time to pay the piper. ] What sort of blanks are you looking to fill? Be specific; I don't care for vague inquiries.
[ might as well be up front with him. ]
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[Sam clasps his hands in front of his face, pressing his fingers to his lips as he thinks. Asking about how the emotional turmoil affected him physically seems too much like prying. Asking if Peggy thinks the memories are still causing trouble is too vague. Reading between the lines of what she'd told him provided a good bit of insight, but there's still more information to be gleaned.]
Going from what he told you, what do you think the catalyst for the events was, at least as it applies to Steve?
[It sounds like a goddamn essay question on an exam, not them talking about someone they both care for deeply. But Sam thinks the formal - almost clinical - phrasing might appeal to Peggy more than an emotional plea.]
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I don't think it was ever just one. [ a puff of her cheeks. ] Mind you, I wasn't there. [ and in a flicker of grim humour: ] And maybe that was the problem.
But as far as I've been able to piece together, things were coming undone well before I -- well before he lost me.
[ rare hesitation. ]
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[Hell, Sam's been watching the cracks widen ever since he met the man, and been powerless to help, more or less. Oh, he does what he can, but most of that is simply being there, and there's a point where his presence just isn't enough.]
About both things. Lord knows we could've used someone with common sense to get both of them to stand down. Someone Steve would actually listen to.
[Although he's not completely sure that Peggy wouldn't have just dug her heels in right alongside Steve. She's stubborn, he can tell that much already - and knew that from Sharon's eulogy - but he thinks she probably would have seen the larger picture in a way Steve hadn't.]
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[ -- peggy understands what sway she holds over rogers. how could she not? she'd been his compass, much as he'd been hers. a steady reminder of the human element; leaving indelible marks on her life. but she would never profess to have his ear so perfectly. god, she hopes she never would. his strength of opinion is one of the things she loves dearly about the man.
and, yes, there's always the possibility she might have merely taken his side. ]
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[Sam can't imagine Steve being swayed by anyone a hundred percent of the time. If he was, then he wouldn't be Steve. Peggy's simply the person with the best odds.]
But I think that quote from you about planting yourself like a tree made him more convinced to stick with everything.
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[ careful, sam wilson. this is dangerously untread territory. ]
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I don't remember the exact phrasing, you'd have to ask Steve about it. I don't wanna get it wrong.
[Nothing to see here, nope.]
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[ what have you done... ]
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[He could let the error stand, but it's probably better not to.]
It was- [He's just gonna leave Sharon out of this.] -in one of the eulogies. And I'm not saying it made things worse, just that it reinforced his decision that he was right about the Accords and it was his responsibility to stand against everyone else.
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Good God. [ peggy swallows hard. in the days to come, she'll internalize what's being said -- understanding that maybe, just maybe, some off-the-cuff quote of hers had prompted steve to dig his stubborn heels all the deeper in the dirt. but for now, she only has room for one jarring conclusion. ] You were there.
[ at the funeral, the service, the whatever. must have been, to have heard a eulogy at all. peggy sits up a little straighter -- features drawn and guard reestablished. she wants sorely to thank him for having been by steve at that moment but, just now, she can't form a single word. ]
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He needed someone. [Sam glances down at the table, tracing a pattern on the surface.] And I wasn't gonna make him go through that alone.
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it creates a connection. and one that takes her by surprise. it hijacks her calculated calm. ]
Yes -- [ taut, and utterly distant. there's a moment where it looks as though she may get up and leave. ] It's certainly appreciated. No one should have to do it alone.
[ the memorial they'd held back stateside for steve rogers had been a gaudy, well-attended thing. peggy might never have gone had howard not dragged her there. and, yes, she'd hated every minute of it. but it'd been made more tolerable by his companionship. ]
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I've probably kept you busy long enough with my questions. If you need to head back to your ship, go right ahead.
[He feels as if he's intruding on her grief, on something that's too intimate for a new acquaintance to witness, and for all his professional training, he's not quite sure how to handle a situation like this.
A pause, and then, more quietly, but with feeling:]
I hope someone was with you. 'Cause you're right about that.
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Someone was. [ and she'd been there for him in turn. with the howlies still overseas, howard might have been the only one who could understand the ludicrousness of the whole affair.
peggy pushes her mug aside. ] If you need anything, Sam -- please don't hesitate to call up the Starstruck. But you're right. I really should be going.
[ and she stands. ]
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[He gives her a warm smile, the sort that's meant to stand in for the hug she would reject. The smile will probably make her feel uncomfortable, too, but he can't help that.]
Do you need an engineer?
[It's almost blurted out at the last moment, a little uncertainly. Yes, he's asking if he can transfer to your ship.]
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[ abrupt, but thoughtful.
peggy wastes no time in exploring this avenue: ] Does Barnes?
[ need an engineer. ]
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[Not that it'll really make a difference, but Sam at least wants Peggy's permission before he does it. Less to justify it anyone else and more because he doesn't want her getting mad at him for suddenly showing up on her ship.]
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[ she doesn't mind betraying that she may, indeed, play mercenary at times. ]
But I don't poach from the Heron. [ in his way, barnes has become important to her. ] Make your peace with your captain -- and if he's good with the transfer, then I certainly won't turn you down. I know Steve won't.