driftfleet | A Goldstone-y Mingle!

[~~Oh, sure, expose his crewmates to dangerous radiation just to find him.~~ Mon-El hops up and heads over to his door. Part of him is sure that was Kara's knock, but he isn't really, really, really sure until he opens the door.] Kara, hey. [He's glad to see her but also nervous. Days have passed and for all he knows this could be her coming to say she's decided it's over. He's been trying to brace for it. There really isn't enough bracing in the galaxy.] Come in? I was just cleaning up. [The room will be a lot neater than usual although there are some piles of things he was organizing stacked on the floor.]

[ she steps in and stays standing ]

It looks good.

[ she means it, but it's also somewhat tense smalltalk. buying time to have the discussion. she takes a deep breath and starts ]

Why did you decide to tell me right then?

Thanks. [Okay, right into it. He can do that.] Because I didn't want to put it off again. I wanted to be honest with you so you can know all about me, even the parts I want to leave behind.

So, why didn't we talk about it earlier?

[ look she has a mission. but she's remaining calm—she hasn't come in with metaphorical swinging fists. if anything, she's a little chilly and stern ]

I wanted to. I tried. I was going to tell you when Cadmus was holding both of us, but we got interrupted. And then it just kept getting harder. I didn't want to lose you being in my life, and I knew how you felt about my family. About me. ["The worst" wasn't it?]

You made it harder for me to hear, too, by putting it off. There was a point where it stopped being about you being the prince and became about you lying to me.

Well, it's...not like it came up that often? [Is this a good defense? The "I only actively talked about being a guard a couple of times" excuse.] I was always honest about my feelings.

Oh, come on. You always knew it was a big deal or you wouldn't have lied in the first place.

Kara, I don't want to keep talking about the past. I can't change what family I was born into or the choices I made then. How do you feel about me now?

Right this second?

[ kara, don't be petty. she resets slightly with a sigh ]

The thing is... [ she scoffs a bit. all of this is haaard ] People did suggest breaking up, and I thought about it. Right when you told me I thought about it, but I felt really defensive when anyone else brought it up.

I like you, Mon-El. And it— I mean. More than I've liked anyone else. And it took me a few days to figure out if I just wanted to hang on because so many people left and I'm so tired of being alone but that's not it at all. I felt this way about you when everyone was here.

But I'm still upset. I'm upset because I like you and it kind of... scares me, honestly. I know it's possible to be your own person, out of the shadow of your parents. I'm not proud of everything my parents did, not by a long shot.

[ Kara you're rambling. what are you even saying ]

Right now, I want to make this work, but I'm scared of being proven wrong.

[It does not feel great to hear that she was crowd sourcing their relationship. But he is glad she still has people to turn to. He's mostly spent the last few days trying to be the sort of person she'd want to come back to while trying not to think about how much it would hurt to lose her after being with her.

He moves in closer to her. It's his favorite place to be. He keeps his hands to himself as much as he wants to just pull her in for a hug and protect her heart with all of his strength.]

Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do. And I hate that I did. If it happens again I'm the first person who would want you to throw me out of an airlock.

But I want to move forward with you without any secrets. Just you and me and all this love and admiration I feel for you.

[ they can get closer. that can be a thing that happens. eye contact can also be a thing that happens ]

I believe you. And I believe you can be better than you were. And I can be better than I have been.

I'm sorry I took so long.

[His breathing hitches when she apologizes because it feels like the most definitive word on wanting to stay with him. At least he hopes it is. And it is nearly overwhelming. He doesn't lean in for a kiss. It feels like a moment where he needs the reassurance of a hug and maybe she does too. A nice tight one where they can both squeeze without anyone's ribs accidentally snapping.]

Does that mean what I think it means?

[ she does need a hug. one where she presses her face against his chest and breathe in his scent and feel like no one's going anywhere ]

I'm still in if you are.

Yes, yes, mark me down for in. Very in. Totally in. [He gives her a squeeze.] Gods, I missed you.

I missed you too. It wasn't fair of me to keep this going on for so long. I just needed to know for sure how I felt.

And good about me is the feeling of choice, right?

Yes. Yes it is.

[ they're still hugging, right? she wants to still be hugging ]

I just want to stay here for awhile.

[Always hugging. Forever hug.] In my room or in my arms? Because I vote yes.

I mean, your room is fine. But I'd be happy in your arms anywhere.

Even in public? [There's still a part of him that thinks she decided to settle for him. For which he is grateful of course. The self esteem is not high despite the appearance of confidence.]

Yes, even in public.

[That makes him smile. He kisses the top of her head.] Curl up on the bed?

Yes please.

[ she breaks away but keeps their fingers entwined ]

Also I want you to know—it wasn't in a gossipy way that I talked to people. I just needed to sort through some things out loud, and Winn just left, and Alex isn't here...

So, it wasn't a general announcement I just missed? [He didn't think it was that though "people" still sounds so plural.]

I didn't want to do it after Winn left, but I didn't want to keep not doing it either and he was encouraging me. He didn't know what it was, but he could tell something was bothering me.

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