Action/Video.

[collegedropout]

Who: Sam Winchester and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Space Bar or SS Bloodsport
When: The 9th - sometime these next few days.
(Note: feel free to take your time tagging this if you have a calibration with him! Or we can wrap it up quick or plan out the ending, whatever you prefer! No rush.)

[ACTION.]

[So — Sam got updated. Thank fucking christ. Nami, you'd better be ready for him to excitedly knock on your door at some point. You can also find Sam at The Space Bar, where he's right back to bar-tending. Feel free to stop by if you need him. But as everyone settles back into normalcy aboard the fleet, Sam makes a new entry to the network. Gotta air out that dirty laundry business.

A few days after they've returned home:]

[VIDEO.]

So, um. That was something, huh...?

[He clears his throat, drums his fingers on top of an old red book.]

Let's just clear the room — I wanted to apologize for... anyone who had gone into my head, or whatever you want to call it. I know there's a lot in there that isn't exactly pleasant to deal with. But I'm cool with it. I mean, I remember it all, and I'm totally fine with everything. So if you're worried about the whole trespassing thing... I'll get over it.

I'm just... I'm sorry, because I know some of it was... Yeah.

[He's dealt with worse. Far worse.]

There are some things for me to be thankful for, right now, in better news; I got a quick trip back home between the Marsiva and the Bloodsport. See, um... My brother, he made it out of a predicament in one piece when I was sure he was gone. And I did, too. Somehow. And I got to meet my mom. Like, in the flesh, as herself.

So as shitty as this month has been in some respects... I'm... just happy I've got her and my brother.

[Ehem.]

Anyway. Enough of the sappy serious stuff.

Anyone want to rent out a book? I'm starting to get quite a collection here.

I've got a list, I'll post it for you guys.

[ATTACHMENT://

IT by Stephen King (Peggy)
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (Rick)
The Marvelous Land of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Arthur)
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! by Mo Willems
Lord of the Flies by William Golding (Bucky)
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (Sawyer)
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss]



... And...

[He holds up two more: All My Friends are Dead by Avery Monson and Jory John, and... The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories by Alisa Surkis and Monica Nolan. He winces.]

Look, I'm not going to kink shame — but someone please take the horse one. You can pass it around like it's The Ring video for all I care.

Comments

[collegedropout]

[He is unsure where to even start — a lot of shitty stuff happened, and their mom is sort of... here and there, finding herself, and Dean's kind of bitter about it sometimes — but there's at least one place he can head this with.]

Dean's alright. I guess somehow Dean talked Amara down —

You know. Family counseling. Or whatever you want to call what happens after... nearly blowing up a sun...

[namisan]

[Vague hopes and confirmations are two very different things. Her face lights right up when he mentions Dean. She doesn't outright hug Sam, but she sure is kind of leaning forward and touching his arm with a bright smile.]

He came to find you, right? You're not still stuck with that woman?

[collegedropout]

[Sam smiles brightly. That whole... everything had been screwed up. Seriously screwed up, and it still gets to him some days, but you know -- this is good. This is really good news. He gives a short nod.]

He came for me, yeah, him and Cas.

And -- something crazy, too. I mean... for me, anyway. Amara wanted to thank Dean for his help... which isn't the actual weird part -- I mean it's weird but... [Lord help him, he's rambling. He sighs, but he smiles as he does it.] My mom's alive. Like, she brought her back to life.

[And there are bad things about it. Like... pulling his mother from heaven.

He knows that. But he can't help but... be a little happy. He's never met her as she is, not really. A ghost, her in another, happier life... but this is his mom, knowing who he is, hugging him and...]

[namisan]

[....okay yes, that was left field. She blinks at him stupidly, wondering if she somehow heard wrong. Mothers don't do that kind of thing--

(Except how many times has Sam died now?)

(Amara was meant to be crazy powerful--)

Well, shit. It's hard to wrap her head around just because it's such a weird thing to suddenly be told without any background of it, but... shit, Sam.]

That's... amazing. [Breathed. There's a small, dark part of her that's very quietly, achingly envious. But mostly? Once she gets over the weird surprise of it, she's just... happy for him. And she smiles widely.] That's amazing! [I mean look, she's never seen you this bright and if nothing else it's a wonderful thing to see, okay? In fact--]

Hold on-- [She's grinning like an idiot but hey guess what, she's taking a photo of you with her comm.]

[collegedropout]

[He's super bright, okay, he can barely contain himself.

It only dies down mildly with some confusion. Pleased confusion. He feels like a lot's off his shoulders, honestly.

Life feels easier. For once.]

Paparazzi much. What's that for?

[namisan]

Savouring the fact you actually look happy.

[She grins wickedly, but you know, it softens after a moment.]

You deserved a break so much. You know that, right?

[She's beyond relieved.]

[collegedropout]

[His smile's a bit more sheepish then, but no less fond.]

You think so, huh?

... I don't know, I've been taking a lot of time off work for gardening.

[namisan]

Oh, well if you're admitting to such I guess I better give you more shifts.

[Don't worry. Her softness is very temporary. But she's in a much better mood now, at least, so thanks for that.]

[collegedropout]

[A grin.]

Guess I'll make a pallet on the floor there.

[namisan]

Guess you better.

[Hee.]

...what's your mom like?

[collegedropout]

Oh, man... Strong. Smart. She was a hunter before me, actually - traveled with her parents. She'd decided to stop and have a family, but she was good. Really good.

[His smile is a bit sad, though.]

I worry about her, though. It's not easy to go from... dead thirty years ago to just.

You know. She's having a hard time, catching up.

[namisan]

[...oh. Nami looks faintly guilty-- she's projecting just a little, probably, given it'd be glorious if Bellemere just suddenly came back from the dead, so she hadn't given any thought to how hard it must be for the mother in question.

Especially in this situation. Husband dead, children grizzled and damaged...]

...that has to be rough as hell. Overwhelming. Does she remember... dying?

[collegedropout]

[He nods, frowning; when does a Winchester not remember dying, huh?

See, it comes from somewhere, genetically, right?]

Yeah. All that technology that went by her, and learning what happened to Dad... And I think... we were kind of not what she expected her kids to turn out, you know? It's not her fault — it's just hard to come to terms with your kids being... Uhh. [He motions a wide fan inward, towards himself.] I know the plaid's a lot to handle.

[He smiles. Look, he tried to keep it lighthearted.]

Life's just kind of a pleasant... trash... fire. Pleasant, though.

[namisan]

[She smiles faintly at the joke.]

Comparatively, it seems heaven.

If your mom's as strong as you are, she'll adjust. She didn't want you to be hunters?

[collegedropout]

[He smiles, and it is such a wince. A car crash of words he can't look away from.]

... It was her worst nightmare.

[namisan]

[...it occurs to her they're standing in a doorway and discussing these potentially private things, so she steps aside and waves him into her room. Plenty of space to hang out and talk like friends.]

Did you know she didn't want that for you?

[collegedropout]

You know...

[He shrugs, stepping inside.]

I just -- had a feeling, watching everyone else with their moms.

... Nobody wants their kids to sleep with guns under their pillows.

[namisan]

[She smiles wryly.]

I don't know. I could think of some mothers who wouldn't think it a bad idea.

[She's joking, but her point--] It depends on a lot of things, Sam. If she knew your life was going to get so crazy in the future, she'd have wanted you to be able to protect yourself, right?

[collegedropout]

[He smiles sadly.]

Maybe.

I think she'd be more pissed at Dad than the gun thing.

He didn't handle those things... well.

[It's sugar coated, unspoken: he didn't handle being a single father well, at all.]

[namisan]

[She doesn't have enough knowledge or context to really follow that up, so after a moment-- well. Easy way to fix that.]

You never told me that full story, I don't think.

[collegedropout]

[He tucks his hands into his pockets.]

Ah... it's not... I guess I haven't.

[After his dad had died, it was a lot harder to admit that he was... you know. Him. He did some crap Sam would have never done to a kid in that kind of life. But for some reason, the thought of someone else seeing his father in a bad light... Protective to a fault, the Winchesters. He smiles mildly.]

After my mom died, my dad took me and my brother on the road; I was just a baby, and Dean hadn't even started school yet. He'd... wanted to find the thing that killed my mother, and the best way to do that was to start life as a hunter. It got him connections and potential leads. The problem was... you know. Having children. So Dean and I were alone a lot in different places, while he was gone.

[He perches a bit, on the nearest surface; you know him, he's predictable.

After a beat, when he feels it's good to continue, he says:]

Dean always knew the truth of what happened, but he and Dad never told me anything about what he did, where he went... or what happened to Mom. All I knew was that Dad always left us a gun, and he had a long list of rules, and we never stayed in one place for too long.

[namisan]

Sounds like your dad had a lot of issues juggling priorities.

[She can't blame the man for going down the revenge path, though, all things considered. Death of a loved one is a very driving force. But to drag his kids into it? That's a poor choice, to say the least.]

Did he know your mom's wishes?

[collegedropout]

You could say that.

[He taps his foot, looking back -- it's always weird, especially with how far away it feels. Even stranger, to remember it at all in such clarity after his stint in hell. God, it's weird how time works across the board.]

... I'm pretty sure he did, but I think it wouldn't have mattered; he was obsessed until the day he died. Once I learned about hunting, I tried to do what they did and... fit into the family, but it just -- didn't really feel like something I wanted from life. For a ton of reasons. Mostly, I didn't have that same blind desire to avenge my mother, because I never really knew her.

[namisan]

You were just a baby.

I don't know how I'd feel, to be honest. [She frowns.] I mean-- I never knew my mother by blood. She died when I was still a baby, too. But I've never really given any thought to try avenging her death. I think if I knew who was directly responsible, I'd probably feel a sense of duty to confront them about it. But...

[She's not an avenging kind of person, though. So maybe it's moot. Either way--]

To have that obligation forced on you by others isn't fair. You get to choose how you feel about things, right?

[collegedropout]

[A really fucked up baby, he thinks. It's not the nicest opinion to have of yourself as an infant; he'll work on it, okay? He didn't deserve any of that shit, so he hardly deserves it from himself, too, right?]

Guess so, yeah. I get what my father wanted, but...

[He shrugs.]

We've always had a rocky relationship, but it took a while to get back in each other's good graces after he told me I couldn't come back if I left. Got full schooling, and that meant going somewhere they weren't. And then all the other crap hit the fan, and... I lost someone the same way he did, I guess, uh, I almost fell into the same blind need for revenge. For a while.

It didn't make it all okay, but it offered me some... perspective I didn't have.