driftfleet | Action/Video.

Who: Sam Winchester and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Space Bar or SS Bloodsport
When: The 9th - sometime these next few days.
(Note: feel free to take your time tagging this if you have a calibration with him! Or we can wrap it up quick or plan out the ending, whatever you prefer! No rush.)

[ACTION.]

[So — Sam got updated. Thank fucking christ. Nami, you'd better be ready for him to excitedly knock on your door at some point. You can also find Sam at The Space Bar, where he's right back to bar-tending. Feel free to stop by if you need him. But as everyone settles back into normalcy aboard the fleet, Sam makes a new entry to the network. Gotta air out that dirty laundry business.

A few days after they've returned home:]

[VIDEO.]

So, um. That was something, huh...?

[He clears his throat, drums his fingers on top of an old red book.]

Let's just clear the room — I wanted to apologize for... anyone who had gone into my head, or whatever you want to call it. I know there's a lot in there that isn't exactly pleasant to deal with. But I'm cool with it. I mean, I remember it all, and I'm totally fine with everything. So if you're worried about the whole trespassing thing... I'll get over it.

I'm just... I'm sorry, because I know some of it was... Yeah.

[He's dealt with worse. Far worse.]

There are some things for me to be thankful for, right now, in better news; I got a quick trip back home between the Marsiva and the Bloodsport. See, um... My brother, he made it out of a predicament in one piece when I was sure he was gone. And I did, too. Somehow. And I got to meet my mom. Like, in the flesh, as herself.

So as shitty as this month has been in some respects... I'm... just happy I've got her and my brother.

[Ehem.]

Anyway. Enough of the sappy serious stuff.

Anyone want to rent out a book? I'm starting to get quite a collection here.

I've got a list, I'll post it for you guys.

[ATTACHMENT://

~~IT by Stephen King~~ (Peggy)
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (Rick)
The Marvelous Land of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Arthur)
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! by Mo Willems
Lord of the Flies by William Golding (Bucky)
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (Sawyer)
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss]

... And...

[He holds up two more: All My Friends are Dead by Avery Monson and Jory John, and... The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories by Alisa Surkis and Monica Nolan. He winces.]

Look, I'm not going to kink shame — but someone please take the horse one. You can pass it around like it's The Ring video for all I care.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, at least you don't think it's your fault.

[Dryly. Sort of. She's more subdued.

After a heavy pause--]

...

I saw you fall.

[Hey, see, he's learning. Or trying to, anyway.]

I know. I, uh, remember. Sort of.

... That... sucks.

[Of course, they both know that's kind of an understatement.

Sam hardly looks as casual as those words would suggest.]

[He does remember. She wonders if she'd like to remember who went through her head. She's not going to ask about it, that's for sure.]

...so. Castiel is real casual about the dying thing as well, I see. [It's that same brittle dryness, but at least she's trying to be casual. She could have stood never to know those details so intimately.]

[His expression falls; it's hard to think about the time you'd murdered your friend.]

Y... yeah...

We're all pretty well-versed in it. It's kind of a lot to take in.

[Lucifer murdered your friend, Sam. Big distinction.]

...do you know what happened to Dean, after?

Uh, yeah. He, um... went back to Lisa — they were really into each other. So I had told him if he had any brain cells he'd try to live a decent life with the person he really liked. I mean, I wasn't sure if it'd work out, but I wanted him to do anything but pace in circles thinking about me.

[He smiles thinly.]

I know that's crazy to hope for, considering the circumstances, but...

He did get to find something good there, for a while.

[Until Sam came back and McFucked that up for him. It was better to not tell him. That's what he'd thought back then, soulless and confused. He had always felt, at the time, that Dean would have helped him make sense of whatever was wrong with him. He remembers thinking that well. He hadn't... cared about Dean being happy, not really.

But that had also made him realize something was wrong.]

[Nami smiles, a little painfully.]

I sort of meant... directly... after. Though it's-- it's good he took some time for himself. [Whoever Lisa is.]

... Oh. Oh, yeah —

I don't really know much other than a little here and there... God brought back Cas. And then Cas brought back Bobby. Which was... really a relief for me, later. Cas healed Dean up, and Bobby helped him get back on his feet before he went to Lisa, I guess...

I'm a little foggy on some details, but... it seems crappy to ask about that time in our lives, y'know?

[...your world seems so callous on the subject of death.]

...yeah. Best case of a worst case scenario, I guess.

[You know Sam, he's used to death swinging him around, like a kid's dolly.]

Pretty much.

[Hey man, 180 years in hell isn't that bad, when you think about how the thing that would've killed billions was averted. Right? Right. He leans on his hand, sighing.]

That's where the soulless era happened.

...soulless era?

[It rings a bell, but she doesn't think they ever talked about this.]

.......... Oh.

That was never really a conversation, was it.

[>_>;;]

Edited 2017-09-04 07:48 (UTC)

A lot of things are never really a conversation. Until you drop them into one, anyway.

[Like a bowling ball, man. But at least she smiles a little.]

True...

Uhmmm. It's kind of a weird story? God, I already say that a lot.

Basically, Cas had went into hell to, uh... try and get me out.

He kind of half-succeeded, and ended up raising my body, but not my soul.

[see totally an easy explanation sam!!!]

[That's... metaphysical. She's quiet for a moment,thinking that over.]

What's the difference?

[This is not a smartass question. She assumes Sam was different somehow, but bodies and souls aren't really in her pay grade.]

It's... hard to explain. Both of them were me. I remember both sides — two sets of memories, only one was about a year, and the other... well. Um. Yeah. [He rubs the back of his neck, thoughtful.] The soul is kind of... a lot of important things. Your conscience. Your good, positive feelings... Like... I didn't care about anything. I was never afraid or worried, and I just. Worked on primal feeling, I guess. Adrenaline, and all that. Basic chemical feelings more than legitimate emotional stuff.

[Pleasure was one thing we're not gonna get into. He's already ashamed enough at that shit and the aftermath of him being involved in that particular case.]

But I also knew something was wrong with me, when I was soulless. I just had no clue what for a while. I thought maybe Hell had screwed me up, but as it turned out, I was kind of a basic cut-out of myself.

[So soulless Sam was a sociopath. ~~Swell.~~]

How did you get your soul back in the end?

....... My brother made some kind of deal with... Death, and, um, Death retrieved it from Hell and kinda, you know, shoved it back in. I guess.

[Did he ever tell her about Death? Boy.

This shit is whack.]

[You're in luck. She's heard your talk about Death before. It still creeps her out, though.]

Either Death likes you or you're just very entertaining.

...... Both of those options sound completely awful.

I don't know. I think they're both better than Death refusing to help.

I guess I could pick the lesser of two evils.

[also we murdered death-]

He'd roll his eyes at all of this reality show business, anyway.

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