001 | the welcome wagon job

[stealy]

Who: Parker and you!
Broadcast: nope!
Action: all over the place
When: from now until forever drift week

Bishop

[ she barely skimmed the surface of the first ship that held her - and not for lack of trying, which is simultaneously frustrating and exhilarating (she chooses to focus on the latter) - when poof, like magic she's standing somewhere else.

magic's not real though. right? is it? is it?

if hardison can find her here, he really is the best, and he really did look hard. she's not counting on it.

she's at the ready the second her feet touch down on the bridge. she's unarmed - to her chagrin - but it's okay. she may not be a hitter, but she doesn't need a weapon to be dangerous. the confetti confuses but doesn't faze her. if there happens to be a person there, on the other hand, and they get too close, they'll find themselves pushed against the wall with surprising strength, forearm digging into their neck ]

How'd you do that?

[ whos and whys are so overrated, really.

if no one is there when she arrives, however, she'll be eating that chocolatey dessert (you snooze you lose!) and making her way through the ship, mapping it in her mind, feet not making a sound on the floor. when she hears people approach, she'll try to hide - did the ceiling always have a blond woman clinging to it? ]

A ship! Any ship!

[ like she's going to just stay where they want her! there's a situation. that situation must be dealt with. the first thing she needs is a safe house, and she's going to be looking for one in every single ship (ideally, she'd like to have one on each). don't mind the stranger silently creeping on your ship, listening to walls, touching panels, trying to find a space to crawl into, and retreating into what cover there is at every approach. happens every day, right?

oh, and if you got something especially valuable lying around, sorry, she's pocketing it. look, she doesn't know you earn money just by existing here, okay, and she's not willing to count on it either, if she's been informed by now. a girl has got to eat! ]

Planetside

[ parker doesn't stay put for long. she takes the shuttle on as fast a ride as it can handle and eventually ends up touching down on kayann. wandering around, she helps herself to essentials everywhere she goes; a snack here, a taser there, ooh cool a skydiver kit! her hands grab things so quickly and smoothly no one seems to know where they've gone - or, in most cases, notice it until she's far away. you have to be looking right at her hands or know what you're looking for to understand what happened and she's already on her way. best be quick!

she perches on a private spot, high above the city, to eat some of her loot (if people don't pick up their meal order promptly, how is that her fault? gosh! it's not like she poisoned it and left it for them to consume!).

there's a reality and it must be dealt with. she needs to get to know the place she's ended up in; survival first, exit strategy second. that sure is a pretty blond woman you can see climbing the side of the building, or you've run into in an air duct, or, alternatively, you've found puzzling over which plant to buy. yes, buy. food, clothes, equipment, a weapon - they're survival necessities, they tramp morals. but a luxury, even one she doesn't fully understand (nor does she grasp why the store beckoned to her so, why she feels the need to get a plant when there's not a leverage consolidated and associates office to put it in, when she has no desire to stay here in this place she didn't choose to go to - those days were meant to have ended a long time ago! but she's not overthinking it. it did, so she went in.), that, she's learned she should pay for or leave behind. unless, of course, it's owned by a bad guy. she peeks at the guy behind the register. he does look a little shifty, doesn't he? ]

Comments

[tough_love]

[Two things that don't go well with your Stealth Rating: Sudden music and a confetti shower. The first one's what got Looma's attention in the first place- she's heard that tinny fanfare before, she knew what it meant. Fortunately, Parker wouldn't have to rely too heavily on her sneak-thief skills to know someone was coming, either. Looma was the kind of big you heard coming, and actually felt approaching once discovery was imminent.

The confetti on the floor though? That was definitely enough to confirm Looma's suspicions once she did make it to the bridge. Just in time to see no one. As for Parker, she'd probably be figure out real quick the ceiling would have a very brief time to serve as a suitable hiding spot.

Because the person who ducked their way through the door just so happened to be a very tall, armor-clad, four-armed alien. The ceiling was way closer to eye level for her than for anyone else aboard the ship, but for the moment it was the confetti on the floor holding her attention. But not seeing anyone standing there in a panic was definitely unexpected- that was usually the more common reaction. Looma'd never known anyone to straight-up disappear, and she definitely hadn't passed anyone coming here.

But like all annoying guard patrols, instead of just shrugging those massive shoulders and moving on, instead Looma is just gonna keep standing there, surveying the bridge. Looking and listening for any sign someone might be cowering behind a console or tucked away somewhere.]

If this is part of some silly game, I am not familiar with it.

[On the bright side, at least Parker's not carrying a phone or a radio that's going to choose the most inopportune time possible to go off and blow her cover, right?]

[stealy]

[ she has very little time to hide, and she's unfamiliar with the space, so the situation is less than ideal to begin with. then, the magnitude of those footsteps his her; what's going to come through that door, godzilla? adrenaline pumping through her veins, parker clings to the ceiling, propping herself up between the wall and a pipe, pudding cup held between her teeth, and looks at the entrance.

well. that's not godzilla, but it may as well be his mutated cousin. what is that? it's so weird - and that armor is so shiny. does its skin feel all soft like a human's, or is it hard and scaly? those eyes - they look hella functional, but why have four more or less in the same place? how cool would it be if two of those were on the back of the head? ooh, are there more back there? she strains to see.

but then the - she king? she can do better - starts looking for her and it becomes less cool, more annoying. what else is she going to have to run away from today? this is massively unfair, she agrees with the red wonder down there (though down may not be the right way to put it) this game is stupid. if you're going to kidnap someone, keep them restrained. if you're gonna kill them - kill them. whatever this is? is just idiotic. it's every movie bad guy's rookie mistake. as a former bad guy, she takes this kind of blatant disregard to the craft personally.

she needs a plan. assets - pudding cup. she can stab her in the eye with it? dammit. she's going to get caught soon if she keeps looking.

what would nate do?

she swings herself down, sticking a perfect landing to the side of the not so jolly looking red giant. ]

Me neither, let's play something else. [ how about a rousing game of take me to the exit? ]

[tough_love]

[Her instincts tell her the first thing you do when someone drops down next to you is to catch them by the throat for a nice pummeling- that or just swat them across the room for the same purpose. And for a moment she very nearly does exactly that, but she catches herself before it can cause a problem. She's been trying to keep a handle on that very behavior around here, since everyone's stuck in this mess together, but also because it's not a very captain-y move to potentially hospitalize a crewmember. And given the circumstances, that's exactly what she's assuming the new human aboard the ship is, even if she's...well, being weird.

So instead of attacking her, Looma brings her right hands back down to her hip before turning to glower down at the new arrival. "Not so jolly" was definitely a fitting description right about now.]

You will find I am not overly fond of many games, human. And I am even less fond of anyone skulking about this ship.

[It was both suspicious and pointless, all things considered. But she was clearly new, so she'd get a free pass. Just this once.]

You may wander the vessel at your leisure, as our hosts have seen fit to assign you to my
ship. But sneaking suggests you are also engaged in the very conduct I will not tolerate. Do you understand?

[stealy]

[ parker would argue than giant red monsters with too many eyes and too many arms don't get to call anyone else weird. especially when they're talking to her like she hasn't been spoken to since she was a child. ]

What are you?

[ she ignores the lecture. she has no intention of staying where her kidnappers want her to be, especially when there's a mutated ogre guarding it. just because it can't sneak worth a damn doesn't mean parker's going to walk around in the open, making herself into an easy target. ]

[tough_love]

I am a Tetramand, and your captain.

[Gotta get the hierarchy and chest-puffery out of the way first, after all.]

I am Princess Looma of House Red Wind. You are aboard the SS Bishop. I would advise you to make yourself familiar with it- as yet, no one in this pathetic excuse for a fleet has discovered how to return home.

[stealy]

[ bossy. she doesn't like bossy. she can call herself captain all she wants, but the only people who get to boss parker around are the ones she lets. ]

Are you a princess or a captain? [ asking the important questions, clearly! no, bossiness and potential harming aside, she finds her fascinating. and kind of glorious looking. like someone she'd enjoy watching stomp all over fictional new york. or a few specific real destinations. she tilts her head to look at her from different angles. ]

[tough_love]

Both. Though being in command of only a single ship, and a civilian one at that, is somewhat insulting.

[But, right, she's supposed to be behaving herself here. Even if it is somewhat reluctantly. The existing crew is already...well, it's own thing that can barely be considered a crew, so she's trying for leniency and some measure of understanding here. So she'll take a breath, exhale, and try to get a fresh start at this.]

Understand that I have no intention of issuing any commands to any of you unless the situation warrants it. I do not care what you or anyone else aboard does so long as certain rules are followed. Do not endanger the crew, do not endanger the ship, and do not make our mutual confinement to this ridiculous game show any more unbearable than it already is.

[And seriously, don't sneak around, she can't help but feel like you're up to something. Stop it.]

I will answer what questions I can, though I have been held here less than one of your years.

[stealy]

[ you can't ask her not to sneak around, it'd be like parker asking her not to be huge! she has to make a conscious effort while being chided and reminded to make that conscious effort not to sneak around.

parker has no intention of following any commends that don't line up with her interests (survival, escape, revenge, fortune), so these rules seem easy enough, despite the last being rather vague and open to interpretation - and she can't promise anything regarding the crew before getting to know them. but in theory, that's all fine.

questions. yes. she has so many of them. ]

Do you have a tiara? [ princesses are supposed to wear dresses and jewelry, aren't they? jewelry's fun, but the armor is definitely superior to any dress (not that they're hard to beat. so impractical!) she pokes at the armor softly and gives it a closer look ] What's it made of? [ it looks expensive. ]