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Who: Maedhros
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Not right off the bat, but that can change in the threads.
When: Early Evening.

(Trimming hair is easier said than done, but the tall Elf has done an...admirable...job? ~~Shhh don't tell him it's uneven in parts.~~ He sets down a pair of scissors and cocks his head, peering at himself in a mirror.)

I must have been...angled...incorrectly. (His left hand doesn't quite smack his face, but it does try to cover it as his ears go red.)

It was getting too long, you see. I became tangled in it every morn and the brushing of it was a painful business.

(Clearly annoyed, he grabs a brush, sets about smoothing it and puts it all in a ponytail. Some of the strands are rebellious, however, and fall out of the ribbon to frame his face. The tickling sensation annoys him more and he tries to tuck them, instead, behind his ears. His mangled ear doesn't make a proper perch for the copper strands and some of them fall right back where they started.)

Aica umbar!

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(He does have an eye for beauty.)

Because of your appearance? (He frowns sadly for her sake.) Is that better for you?

(Does he need to inform this clueless man? Maedhros blushes.)

...that is accurate. The past weighs heavily on us and Elven memory is perfect.

Appearance and name. I was Jadzia Dax when we were married. And it's a little easier. We're not allowed to reassociate with lovers from our last lives.

[It's okay, Maedhros. She doesn't want to embarrass anyone.]

I can understand that. Trill memory, joined Trills really, are the same. You know, if you ever need to get something off your chest, you can come find me.

Your heart must suffer under those terms. (But he...understands...to an extent.) Can I be of help to you? My friendship applies to all of your names and lifetimes.

(Just so she knows.)

I betrayed him. I left him in misery. I wish I could heal him, but there is the added complication of me being unable to heal myself.

Sometimes. [She admits.] I can remember loving him but Jadzia and I were so different, I know he and I wouldn't be a good fit.

[She's kiss his cheek if she was sure he'd take it well.] I'm glad. The same applies to you as well. You and your brother, Dax will never forget anyone like you.

[She gives his hair the lightest of tugs in scold before finishing and setting the scissors down.] Maybe you can heal together. Family is there for each other when no one else can be.

The core is the same. If - (No, he should not reveal that much about himself and his romantic interest. Yes, that is singular for a reason.) I only mean it would not stop me from wishing to be near you.

(Kisses are fine, though they leave him with a little color.) We are...difficult...to forget. I hope, in this case, that is a positive attribute.

(Ah. He felt that. Amusement shines in his eyes.) How would you go about healing together?

Kind of. We're meant to experience new lives every time rather than dwell on what we used to have. [Joining is weird and annoying. It's why she'd never made herself eligible until Dax needed one immediately.]

Mostly. You've both been endearing.

[She gives him a little nudge to go check his hair.] Talking to start. Just letting everything out, if you can confront what's troubling you, you can help one another overcome it.

I can see the wisdom of that, though forgetting experiences and not allowing them to hold sway over you would be nearly impossible. (For an Elf especially with their pristine, perfect memories.)

...endearing? (His lips twitch and he follows her lead, examining his hair in a mirror. She has done a fine job and he lets out a breath, relieved.) Thank you.

(Eyes darkening, he turns towards her.) What if we have spoken and come to the conclusion that forgiveness is not possible?

We're given... incentive. Reassociating is punishable by being banished from Trill society. Your symbiont will never be joined again and die when the host does.

Endearing, yes. [She's never actually learned to cut hair so at least it meets his approval.] I'm here to help.

Can you forgive each other though? If you can do that, you can find a way to forgive yourself.

(That sounds an awful lot like a death threat to him.) Your society is...strict. (He would stand against all of it if she wished to rebel.)

You evened the strands; that is difficult for me to do on myself. (Maedhros bows his head to her.) I think that descriptor fits my brother more than myself. He has such a kind heart.

...he has nothing that needs my forgiveness. (Maglor might say differently.) But he has told me that my abandonment of him was...and will always be...unforgivable.

[It kind of is.] It can be but I understand it. We're meant to always be growing. All the memories I have, Dax wouldn't be so valued if our hosts had reassociated.

You need to give yourself more credit. [He reminded her of a kicked puppy earlier. Obviously he has a soft side.]

Brothers say things in anger all the time that they don't mean.

What of your heart? (Value comes in many forms.)

I shall try. (But he has always failed miserably in that regard.) He was...

Angry, yes, but it was a cold, resolute anger. I want to alleviate his sadness - his anger does not frighten me - but forgiveness might be too much to ask him to give.

I don't feel for Worf the same way Jadzia did. [Being a diplomat over several lifetimes, a scientist, a politician, Dax has done a lot. Plus Dax's insight to the Federation, it makes Dax valuable and high risk in enemy hands.]

It's still anger though. I don't believe anything is ever absolute.

Then you can make the break cleanly. (He relaxes, giving her a small smile.) You are very wise and I am relieved you look after your heart.

Only death and the Fleet has proven that changeable too.

For me, at least. I don't know how to tell Worf that Jadzia was murdered. [She's had many lives to try learning that, and it helps Ezri a lot. She's only twenty-one and very inexperienced herself.]

So your brother may soften up. If you want, I can give his ear a yank like I did for my kids. [She's joking. Mostly.]

He must know she would not leave him any other way. (It is a sad fate for many Elves. Those in marriage are not easily taken from the world, but when they are, those they leave behind must understand it was not purposeful; not planned.)

He doesn't respond to ear yanking. I've tried. (He grins briefly.) Kano is...very stubborn. He is hurt in ways I cannot know. I think he needs a lot of time.

I would hope he does. [She's definitely not telling him that it wasn't an honorable death either.]

Nobody should suffer their hurt alone, stubborn or not. I'm sure he'll forgive you someday.

I lost...someone very dear to me. (The only one he has ever loved.) I know he did not leave me on purpose.

No, they shouldn't. (Maedhros bows his head.) It's fine either way.

My condolences. I know the pain. I had to watch my husband die once, had to leave my wife another.

[She sets her hand on his shoulder.]

Pain is exhausting. It eats away at you. He will.

You have my condolences for all the lives you have suffered. One has been nearly overwhelming for me.

(He glances at the hand warily before settling.)

I know it well. (Her certainty is a sweet, unsought support. He wishes he shared it.) My brothers have their own ways of working through difficulties. Patience serves me well.

It's alright. Most hosts have intensive training to prepare for the joining and the memories that come with it.

[She keeps the touch light, easily shaken off.] Having the love and support of family helps. And should help to bridge those gaps.

I do not know how you train for heartbreak? Even after experiencing it, I cannot adapt. Each time, it feels brand new.

(He doesn't really mind it. Touch in general makes him jumpy, but that's thanks to torture.)

We have plenty of love, that is true, and I am prepared to support him in any way he allows me.

Edited 2017-09-04 11:49 (UTC)

I wouldn't know, honestly. I was never actually fit to be a host so I never went through all the preparation.

[She supposes it helps that her preferences are very different from her previous hosts. She can understand the love but she can't quite share in it.]

That's all anyone can really ask of family.

Is that a state you can earn or are there simply those that are fit for it and others who are not?

(Elves live one, long, continuous life. Once they are Reborn, the life is the same. He cannot comprehend what she has experienced.)

I have loved him since he was in our Ammë's womb.

When we're about twelve, we fill out paperwork to start preparing, after that there are classes, I suppose. Some Trill are placed under the supervision of a field docent, a joined trill who will evaluate whether someone is fit for joining. To weed out weaker personalities that the symbiont would overwhelm or people who would end up like Joran did.

I never did the paperwork. I didn't want to be joined.

There is the zhian'tara though. But I don't have enough friends here to participate, I doubt most would want to. And there are no Guardians here anyway.

[Elves are weird but she feels for them.]

Amme? That didn't quite translate but, mother, right?

(There are a lot of pieces of what she says that he doesn't understand. But he gets the gist of it.)

What is a...zhian'tara? (He can be a friend? If it's not something that will change him drastically or bar him from looking after his brother and cousin.)

Yes. Ammë is what I have always called her.

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