[action] not-so-secret completely off-season santa

[ahappylie]

Who: Okita vs Everyone
Broadcast: No
Action: Everywhere on the Fleet
When: During the drift

[He was asleep for so long that he had very little time on the planet. But he only needed a little time to get what he needed. Just after the drift begins and the planet is a distant spark on the horizon, he starts flitting from ship to ship and cabin to cabin to find people.

Action for Goldstone
For the members of his crew, he has a little gift for everyone. He'll be coming by crew cabins or finding people at their stations, anywhere they are, so he can deliver a little handwrapped present with a smile.

Action for the Fleet
With his main gifts given out, he'll start shuttling over to ships at random. Wonder what that noise is in the cargo bay? What about that weird banging noise in the kitchen? Well it's the Fleet's resident samurai, piglet in tow, and he's leaving little gift baskets for each ship - candy, non-perishables like dried fruit and canned goods, shower gel, a flamingo hat, random weird junk like these things, etc. Whatever he could buy down on the planet, he's stuffed into baskets and is leaving them on every ship for everyone.

Or you could find him wandering the Iskaulit with Saizou trailing behind passing out brightly colored candies. Who knows what flavors they are - maybe Floot Loops.]

Comments

[ahappylie]

[Once he sees it, he might actually have preferred the bomb.]

Crowley-san, it ruins the surprise if I tell you. Go on and open it!

[Inside, if he chooses to take the risk, is a big, pink, squishy piglet shaped pillow with a hidden velcro pocket on the side. Within the pocket, if he doesn't just immediately airlock the gift, he'll find three medium sized bottles - one of good quality whisky, another of bourbon, and the last one of spiced rum.]

[onlyanapple]

[Oh.

Why has this happened to him.

Why is this his life?

Crowley stares at it, holding the pillow in one hand as he uses the other to open the whiskey,
taking a swig.]

That's a pig pillow.

[ahappylie]

[It's because he let Okita into his life, even if it's unwillingly. He gave Okita a plant. He'll never go away now.]

Mmhm. It's really soft!

And it can hide things if you don't want people to find them.

[He smiles and points to the pocket on the side where the booze came from.]

Also, this way, you can practice getting used to pigs without needing to practice with Saizou.

[onlyanapple]

[He did this to himself. ]

...Right. Because I'm a sixteen year old girl who hides things in my secret pillow.

[This is not fine. He groans. ]

I can't recall saying I wanted practise.

[ahappylie]

[8D Welcome to every grumpy person's life that he has ever met.]

Well, now you can be.

[Since that's apparently what 16 year old girls do in the future? Now Crowley can do it, too. See? Okita helped!]

And if you don't get practice with the pillow, I could always call Saizou in instead. He's a little mad that I locked him in my room so I could come give you this.

[onlyanapple]

Wow. A dream come true.

[So helpful. ]

I absolutely do not want to spend any more time with your devil pig than I already do.

[ahappylie]

[He's always here to help Crowley. Help him regret this life choice he made of ever talking to Okita.]

See? So the pillow is a muuuuch better alternative. Besides, if he sees you with it, he might think you've befriended another pig and leave you alone.

[That is so doubtful not even Okita believes that and it's written pretty plainly on his face with the grin that's spreading across it.]

[onlyanapple]

[He regrets it so deeply already. ]

...That sounds like utter bullshit, but I suppose there is an off-chance it might be batshit enough to work.

[This is what happens when you've lived in Hell and have learned to second guess every little thing ever. ]

[ahappylie]

[Don't worry, he'll be free of Okita soon enough. He'll have a week-long vacay at least.]

He may be a smart piglet, but he's still just a piglet.

[Plus he misses his family as much as anyone, so seeing another pig - even in Crowley's care - might be enough to settle him down. It's crazy enough to work! Or just make Saizo think Crowley is holding a pig hostage. One of the two.]

Just be sure to be nice to your pig pillow where he can see it.

[onlyanapple]

[What a fun time for everyone. ]

Ugh, so I have to display the bloody thing?

[ahappylie]

[A joyous occasion indeed.]

You don't have to.

[He taps a finger against his chin.]

Buuuuut how else would he see you being nice to it and know to be nicer to you?

[onlyanapple]

...I hate it when you use logic on me, but I really think this will cause more damage to my reputation than it's worth.

[ahappylie]

[Okita smiles because he knows he has Crowley in the very worst position and that makes him laugh - but only on the inside. He doesn't want to be airlocked.]

I'm sure a demon of your caliber can find a way to be sneaky about it. I believe in you, Crowley-san.

[onlyanapple]

Ugh. Why do you have to say it like that?

...Fine.

[ahappylie]

[Because he's a horrible human being, that's why.

Okita claps his hands together once and smiles even wider than before, if that's even possible.]

I'm so glad you like your present then! I have others to give things to, so I'll be seeing you soon, hm?

[onlyanapple]

[He hates his life. He hates everything.]

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

[ahappylie]

[He spins in a little circle, gives Crowley a wave and then skips off down the hall because his day is complete.

Crowley owns a pig pillow.]