Eyuzi System Mingle

[lord_wizard]

Who: Everyone!
Broadcast: If you like!
Action: The planet Lyuku, the Iskaulit, and anywhere else you want
When: Sept 1 to Sept 28

[After a rather short time adrift, the fleet is finally in range of another planet. Small, peaceful, and colorful, there is plenty to do and explore.

Maybe it's enough to forget that vague feeling of unease.

Or not.]

((SYSTEM INFO))

Comments

[wolfuncaged]

[This...is not normal. Fenris wonders if something else has happened to Wolfe, in his time away from them. ]

...If that is what you wish.

[wolfehawke]

[A nod, Wolfe looking at the uncaring lizard a little forlornly. He feels Fenris' eyes still on him after a moment though and turns his head to face him.]

What? You're giving me a look.

[wolfuncaged]

You seem very sad about the loss of a lizard. Is everything alright?

[Look. He's concerned, okay. ]

[wolfehawke]

It's not the lizard.

[Wolfe very suddenly and desperately wants a drink. Preferably a large one. This is the sort of mood that had him tapping the Hanged Man's worst keg in the past.]

It's not the lizard, or even being back in this place. It's the opposite.

[He rubs his the center of his forehead, as if trying to work out a headache.]

...Do you want to go for a pint? That I'll let you buy.

[wolfuncaged]

I am very glad to hear it is not the lizard. I know you have a... thing with dragons, but that would be a worrying development, even for you.

[It's almost a joke. Almost. His concern makes it sound flatter than his jokes usually do. He gives a soft nod of his head. ]

This, I can do for you.

[wolfehawke]

[The joke is not lost on Adalwolfe despite the flat tone and he even lets out a brief laugh. A sense of humor, then! Nice to see as he saw it so rarely back in Kirkwall.]

I found a bar earlier down an alley. It wasn't open then but it should be late enough in the day now, I think.

[wolfuncaged]

Sounds perfect. Shall we?

[wolfehawke]

[And off they go.

The bar is dingy and smells just a bit like the alley that hosts it. The atmosphere is loose, though, and generally jovial, and it isn't difficult to find a table or to flag down the barman for something with a good head and a strong kick on the way down. Wolfe smacks his lips after the first gulp.]

Not bad. Nothing like the Hanged Man's rat brew.

[His tone leaves it ambiguous as to whether that's a good or a bad thing.]

[wolfuncaged]

[It's vile. Fenris always prefers wine, but h'll drink it because it's there.]

I am fairly certain the ale in the Hanged Man could have been used as effective rat poison if the barkeep so wished to.

[It was the worst. He misses the Hanged Man. ]

[wolfehawke]

Are you kidding? He used it as rat poison! They'd stagger around as drunk as the guest before they dropped dead.

[He snorts at his joke and drinks a large gulp, setting the mug down surprisingly carefully after. He does a lot of things around Fenris carefully.]

So how have you been? I know I was gone awhile.

[It's easier somehow to be candid with Fenris. Not that this is candid just yet but he finds he's not as uncomfortable with the idea of talking to his friend about what's actually wrong. Not like the others who he knows his absence was a blow. Fenris though, even if the elf missed him, it's not the same sort of thing, at least on Adalwolfe's end. It's almost like talking to a ghost. A very short judgmental ghost.]

[wolfuncaged]

Ah. That would explain the little piles of dead rats about the place.

[Wolfe, the Hanged Man was so gross, why did they drink there. The very short, judgemental ghost shrugs his shoulders. A lot has happened, but there are things he is absolutely not keen to divulge yet. Should Marian wish to speak of it, he will own up to his actions, then. If not...well, he can ignore it for a good long while. ]

I have been...fine. I have nothing to complain about. [For a change. ] Life continues, as it does.

[wolfehawke]

[That is a change, Fenris not complaining. Good for him!]

As it does.

[Wolfe gives a bit of a smile from the corner of his mouth but it doesn't reach his eyes. He looks down into his mug a moment later, twisting it between his hands for a moment and listening to the quiet scraping sound the ceramic makes against the wood.]

For people here, anyway. I don't... Have any memory of being gone. Just going to sleep, then waking up on the Marsiva again.

[wolfuncaged]

[Fenris lets out a steady exhale. ]

Is that not for the best? Unless you had a particular desire to go back to all the troubles Thedas is currently plagued with.

[wolfehawke]

Not really, but without that it's just missing time. Vanished without so much as a word.

[He turns his mug again.]

How am I supposed to take care of people if I can't guarantee I'm going to be here?

[wolfuncaged]

[A small smile tugs at Fenris' lips and he lets out a soft 'tch' sound. ]

How typical of a Hawke. Always determined to be the one to watch over everyone even when it's impossible to do so. You cannot be with us all the time, you know. This much has proven it. You cannot blame yourself for being unable to take care of anyone if the universe as put you in its back pocket.

[wolfehawke]

Then what else am I good for?

[He leans back, leaving the mug on the table and rattling it as he withdraws his hand.]

No, that's dramatic, I know I don't have any control over it. But that's just the problem, isn't it. If I can't promise to be here to help, then I should withdraw so I'm not depended on. But it feels wrong, even if it's logically sound.

[As if Adalwolfe could withdraw from his relationships.]

[wolfuncaged]

Plenty.

[Which...seems to be as far as he's going with that answer unprompted. You sit and drink with Fenris, this is what you get. ]

That's...a really stupid way to think, Adalwolfe. From what I understand, you withdrawing is what made problems even worse between you and the me you knew. I have no intentions of taking it personally, but others here might. It has no benefits at all.

[That's Fenris for you. Shitty comfort, honest advice. ]

[wolfehawke]

[Good thing he's looking for the advice. And he can't deny Fenris has a point. He does tend to go straight for the throat though, doesn't he.

Wolfe laughs, a short bark, and takes a drink.]

The idea was if there's no attachment there's no pain, but I guess that ship's already sailed.

[wolfuncaged]

[The gentle approach always does elude him. Not that he tries very hard to find it in the first place, mind.]

I would say it has, yes. I doubt anyone who knew you last time would be especially happy to see you're avoiding them.

[wolfehawke]

People aren't always happy about what's best for them, you know?

[It's clear from his tone that he's aware it's really not what's best, but it's the only way he can think of to explain his warped logic.]

[wolfuncaged]

No, but that usually involves something unpleasant they have to do. It's...not the same.

[Damnit, Adalwolfe why do you have to be this way? ]

[wolfehawke]

Usually.

[He sighs.]

I'm trying, but this is all very--

[He's not sure how to explain, gesturing for a moment at nothing as he tries to find words.]

--I guess it's everything that frustrated me about Kirkwall too. I could try and elevate myself, my family and friends, but it all comes tearing down anyway and people suffer because of that lack of control. So this one thing, I thought I could control that at least, the interpersonal. But that doesn't work either does it? Because I care too much already and so do they and everyone just. Cares. Even more than back home.

[wolfuncaged]

...Are you saying you are surprised people here care about you when we are all forced into ships and need to live with one another and learn to function as teams to survive? Because even I understand that much.

[When Fenris gets anything concerning social life more than you, it's time to be worried. ]

[wolfehawke]

I'm not surprised! It just makes it harder is all I'm saying. I can't just vanish off and expect things to be the same but everyone acts like it is and so I go on and act like it too but it's all wrong because no one is actually upset at me that I was gone, just glad I'm back and I don't know how to take that.

[Shouldn't people be blaming him? Shouldn't they be asking why he wasn't there? It's what he's used to with his family at least and people here are family, and yet no one condemns him for things even when he knows ostensibly that they shouldn't anyway, but he expects it and to not have it come makes him jittery. But he has a hard time figuring that out in so many words, he just know something feels terribly wrong about all of it.

He makes a disgusted noise and leans back.]

I don't know. Forget it, none of it makes sense.

[wolfuncaged]

[Fenris rolls his eyes. He's aware he's been away from Thedas for so long and this strange between-life is more familiar and comfortable to him than back there. He has a better life HERE. ]

It doesn't. There is nothing wrong with being glad to see people again, to be in a familiar place.