Can't spell 'fun' without cannibals!

[crowkiller]

Who: Zevran and you
Broadcast: Nah
Action: Arrival on the Hell Planet
When: Right now

Closed To Rowan

[A lot has happened in the whirlwind of him arriving. The oddly calming music, the strange and colorful paper that falls from the ceiling, and the pudding. It's doesn't really fit the burnt and destroyed atmosphere that this metal vessel is giving off. He didn't except to see a dead man walk up to him. He didn't expect his heart to surge with emotions as they kissed, touched, and spoke as only lovers would back to the bedroom.

The fact that Rowan was here made things a lot easier. Rowan knew some things about this place, but they were both learning together. Like right now, as they stalked through the dense forest, moving in the shadows trying not to make themselves out to be targets.]

Why do people eat others?

[Zevran is thinking out loud as he moves with careful footsteps. Maybe this isnt the best time to be talking about such a strange subject but...]

I mean-- I feel like humans wouldn't taste very good. Or elves for that matter. Most of us are so lanky to begin with, we must not have much meat on our bones. But do you think they just look at other people and instead of thinking 'wow, what a beautiful person, I want to fuck them.' Do they think 'I want to eat them'?


Fine elven crafts OTA

[Being an assassin, Zevran doesn't like it when he doesn't have weapons. While anything can be a weapon in his hands, he prefers his blades, his poisons, and his arrows. He doesn't have any of those right now, and the things on the ship were just not the best at what he needed them to do. Lucky for him, he remembered his time with the Dalish, even if it had been rather quick. He saw how they made their tools, how difficult could that be?

Turns out, very.

Zevran is struggling over some twine that he found. It's not the best bow string but its what he has right now. He takes a large piece of wood that he has found lying in the dirt somewhere, and with one end on the ground he tries to curve it by bending and trying the twine to it. It works for a moment, but then the wood breaks, the twine snaps in his face and with a yelp he falls back and holds his sting face.

New plan. Get his weapons back.]
 

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[crowkiller]

[Zevran doesn't move away as Rowan leans into him. He sits up a little straighter so he doesn't have to hunch over as he buries his face in his uninjured shoulder. He isn't sure what to expect, but laughing is very far down that list. For a moment or two he honestly thinks that he has broken Rowan, which might very well be the case. Too bad Wynne isn't here, or Leilana, they were much more suited for this sort of thing. But Rowan get's Zevran, who is now terrified he will just makes things worse than he already has.

His head tilts to lean against Rowan's as his frown deepens on his face. He should have known this enlightenment wouldn't be a pretty one. His hand doesn't leave his, he doesn't want to let go, but he feels the need and desire to hold him closer still. It stings and aches to move his injured arm, but he pushes through that. He moves it to wrap around Rowan's shoulders, his fingers carding through the tufts of hair on his neck. He pulls him closer as he feels dampness on his neck. He doesn't mention it. He isn't quite sure what to say right now, he's said enough. Instead his head just turns to the side and gently kisses the other's face.]

[trudge]

[ It's not Zevran's fault. It's his own for being stupid, for thinking no one would care that he died in the battle with the Archdemon. It's his own fault for not actively trying to find his brother — but he didn't have time. He and his party had so many places to go, so many things to do, that going back to try and find some hint of Fergus was ultimately out of the question. Maybe, subconsciously, he was just too scared to do it, too. What would he do if he actually found him dead? Wouldn't that have been worse? He doesn't know. All of this is shit and he hates it and now he's subjecting Zevran to it and he doesn't deserve it.

They're supposed to be fuckbuddies, friends with benefits, whatever else you want to call it and yet here he is crying on him like a baby. And Zevran's accepting it, comforting him despite pains in a wound he just recently suffered and he's kissing him and Rowan hates it. He hates this.

And yet he doesn't move away. In fact, he's hooking his own arms around the elf now and keeping him close. Zevran has always understood him, always been his companion in the ways of emotional-bullshit they choose to ignore. Fingers clutch at the back of his shirt, desperately like it's the only lifeline he has anymore and he's so scared that if he leaves him now he will just wither and die. Zevran is so good to him and what did he do? He left him. He fucking left him and the others and it's all coming to him now — an epiphany he never wanted and never asked for. ]

I'm sorry. [ Sorry for dying. Sorry for this. Sorry for everything he's ever done. ]

[crowkiller]

[The thought of how odd this is doesn't even cross Zevran's mind. It's true, friends with benefits, fuck buddies, whatever the hell they were didn't do this. Those relationships don't get close, they don't hold each other and cry, but they probably don't make blanket tents in a bedroom either. They also don't convey and confide in each other the many times that they have done. Zevran could think of a moment or two when he was close to breaking while he and Rowan spoke of his last mission for the Crows, and the feelings he had going into what was suppose to be his final confrontation against the famed Grey Wardens.

They both really messed up this whole 'no feelings' thing they were suppose to have. Zevran doesn't mind that though, even if too many things went unsaid before they were separated by fate. And now as too many feelings flows in him that it made his veins ache, his bones tremble, and his chest tight-- he knows he wouldn't trade this for the world. He would never give up on this man, because he loves him and he doesn't have the words to say it.]

Stop.

[His voice cracks just slightly, even if he didn't go above a whisper. He holds him a little tighter now as his heart threatens to burst from his chest and he feels like he can not longer breath.] You don't have to say that.

[But still it felt nice to hear. Maybe he is still a little bitter about the ending that Rowan had-- that they both had. It's not like he lies awake at night wondering what could have happening if Rowan lived, if Zevran knew how to tell him that his heart pumped with love and adoration that he's never known before him. That would be tragic.]

[trudge]

Maybe not, but I truly am sorry. I never meant for it to be like this. [ The words are so vague he could be talking about anything. He never meant to leave the world as he did, he never meant to hurt anyone because he was too stupid to realize that they actually gave a shit about him and would miss him when he was gone. And he never, never meant to subject Zevran to this. The assassin had his own problems, he didn't need a grown man crying on him when they were only meant to please each other physically.

It's so clear there's something more here, but Rowan doesn't think he deserves more than what he's getting. Hell, he doesn't even deserve this, but he won't say that, lest Zevran reconsider all of the comfort he's given him so far. Rowan seems to settle a little, leaning into the elf with his arms still wrapped around him. The tears have stopped but his head remains resting against his shoulder, his breathing quiet and slow. Zevran is so warm, so inviting, so calming. He smells like wood and leather and home. He is home, here in his arms. ]

Let's just stay here tonight.

[crowkiller]

[He doesn't realise how much it means to hear those words until he feels his breath come back to him, and his chest loosens. Maybe Rowan feels the same way. Maybe he regrets the unspoken things between them, or maybe he just regrets that neither of them could keep their promise to be only a physical comfort, and that he died too young. The vague words will have him over thinking later, right now his focus is on the man in his arms. He doesn't let go of him, but his grip only slightly loosens so that he may nuzzle his face against his neck and kiss the side of his face a few times more.]

I'll stay as long as you'll have me.

[Here in this room or at his side. Zevran would not leave him on his own accord. He had been hooked the moment this man gave him mercy, and he wouldn't trade that for all the gold in the world. He smiles against Rowan's skin before he falls back against the pillows and the floor, and brings Rowan down with him.]

[trudge]

Don't say that. I might never let you leave.

[ Things like that should be evidence enough that he feels something beyond the mutual agreement of carnal pleasures. Of course he's also so well versed in sarcasm and dry humor that it could very well be a joke as well. But they both know, deep down in the pit of their hearts where they keep their secrets. Their unsaid words that find themselves intermingled with teasing and jokes.

Rowan follows the motion easily, ending with his head resting against Zevran's chest and his arms still wrapped around him. The rhythmic beat of his heart mirrors his own, soothes him more than it should. Now would be the perfect time to tell him how he feels, to tell him all his regrets and how he wishes he could see the future, see what could have been.

Instead, he lets his eyes shut, his breathing slow. Better to dream than to admit so much aloud. ]