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(no subject)

Who: Billy Kaplan / OTA
Broadcast: Yes
Action: On the Iskaulit
When: After all the chaos is settled!

So… all of that was horrible? I think that goes without saying. The less we have of that kind of thing going forward, the better.

Tangentially, but the personnel augment is kind of useless, isn't it? We get an office but not much in the way of marketable skills, we can't do anything with the ships in the middle of a crisis, we're not here for any big damn hero moments. It’s great if we’ve got other skills for that, but we can’t fix stuff, we can’t pilot people out of danger, we can’t arm those who don’t have powers...

...okay, sorry, I'm rambling. Getting to the point! Truth is, personnel - counselling - is meant for the aftermath. Therapy, in other words. If it doesn't exist where you're from, it pretty much means someone whose job it is to listen to you, no judgments, and offer advice if they can. Sometimes it's enough to just have somebody hear you out.

Anyway, I wanted to say that I'm tired of, like… not contributing much. So I'm gonna have an open door policy. Doesn't matter if you're not on my ship, doesn't matter if I don't even know you. You can even use the comm anonymously if you don't like the idea of coming in person. You make the rules.

If you're wondering about my qualifications… well, I've got ears. That's the most important part. But I did also grow up with this stuff- Mom’s a psychologist, I've seen her work, I’ve read some of her books. And I’ve gone to therapy. Kind of a lot. It's not a substitute for the real thing, but it's what I can offer.

Oh, and for the record, this isn't meant to call out anyone with the personnel augment, or steal your shipmates, or anything! This is more of a call to action. If you want in on this we can set up some kind of network.

I’m setting up shop on the Iskaulit and I’m gonna post active hours there. Stop by if you want to talk more one-on-one about it.

[True to his word, Billy’s in a spare room in the Iskaulit - sign on the door - and is decorating the place, though it’s kind of barebones for the moment. He can magic it pretty, but the last few months have been exhausting, so he’s taking it slow.]

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[The fact he isn't magicking his way into this is quite impressive actually - he's just won more points of respect with Shiro, who is always ready to appreciate hard work. As for floating? Hey, this is the guy that loves flying, not judgment there.

The crochet comment gets a chuckle from him.]

Point taken. I just thought you may going easy since you just got started, little steps - maybe I could've worded that better. Have you had any takers yet?

A couple people have shown some interest, asked questions. Even got some volunteers to help out. No "patients" yet, technically. I figure the bun needs to bake a little before anything happens.

[He nods, not really surprised.] It probably does. It's hard to open up and just start talking about your problems to someone, be stranger or friend, professional or not. [Speaking from experience there, Shiro?] I'm sure they'll come to you after they have time to warm up to the idea.

Edited 2017-11-26 22:35 (UTC)

[at least it's a shared experience, because Billy's quick to nod with understanding.]

Well, they will or they won't- it's not up to me at this point. Door's open, so the rest is up to them.

The door being open is enough to start - the idea is planted in their heads now. I'll make sure to change your name on my contact list to Doctor Billy, too.

[Don't mind him, just teasing, and it shows. But that little comment reminds him of something.]

Speaking of your name - I keep meaning to ask you something. A couple of some things in fact. Is "Billy" that you prefer to go by? Or should I change to "Wiccan"?

[He's still not sure how actual superheroes work when it comes to that.]

Ugh...

[well, at least it's not Doctor Kaplan. That would be too weird, no thanks.]

We're not, uh. The most dedicated to the whole codename thing. Ever since we first started, half the time we just tossed our names around. Did Kate tell you she didn't even have a codename until a few months in?

I hear the basics of the story, yeah. But I don't think you should decide only based on the "whole codename thing". Just choose what you find more comfortable, Billy. [He offers a bit of a grin.] If superheros don't do names, I hope at least they do birthdays.

[Trying to keep the mood light here, and he just happens to have a dumb sense of humor...]

Wow, Shiro. Subtle.

[fishing for intel over there, buddy?]

[He opens his mouth, ready to say he doesn't know what Billy is talking about... but he does. Better not play dumb, probably. He wants Billy's approval after all. So he looks down at his hands, looking a bit embarrassed, and mostly kinda awkward. Enjoy, Billy, you don't get Shiro like that every day.]

...I want to know yours too, you know.

[pfffft. okay, that's actually kind of cute, and it means he'll take pity on you. congrats on your quasi-pout, it's very appealing.]

I'll share on good faith that you'll surrender your birthday, too- fair's fair. Kate's is December 31. A good ol' new year baby. Mine's February 9th.

[you've unknowingly entered into a contract with a witch, Shiro. THE POWER OF THE HEX COMPELLS YOU.

or maybe it's just the scrutinizing judgment of The Best Friend.]

[If he had a tail, he'd be wagging it right now. That quasi-pout definitely becomes a smile.]

December! That's close. [He needs to start thinking about gifts ideas.] Ah, you're a February baby like me.

[Speaking of... Shiro is all about good faith. Oh boy, here goes nothing.]

Mine's February 29th. Not a comment, I've heard them all. [He says while putting a metal finger up.] Unless you want to start me on therapy over years of bad jokes.

Man... I'm probably the last person in the fleet who's allowed to make jokes about that sort of thing, believe me.

[want to talk about retro-reincarnated souls, or hellspawn fragments, or potentially being magicked into existence a handful of years ago? yeah, leap year babies are so pleasantly normal. he's kinda jealous.]

[...welp. That's not the kind of answer he expects. Shiro's eyebrows both raise, concern obvious on his face.]

Did I touch a delicate subject?

Um.

[okay, maybe that did come across a bit strong.]

Not delicate so much as... complicated. I have a weird history.

Superhero backstory complicated? [After hearing tons of Kate's stories, Shiro has reached the conclusion that strange movie ideas are actually more accurate than one would expect them to be.] I admit I'm curious, but you don't have too tell me if you don't want to.

[....bro....]

I mean, it's not like it's some big traumatizing secret. It's just kind of a mess, and half of it I don't even understand.

[so no complaining, because you asked!!]

There's literally no short version that makes sense, but the shortest version I can give you is- my magic mom altered reality so that I was retro-reincarnated to exist after my old self, uh, died. Or didn't exist properly, more like. Anyway, all that means is that in our current reality I was born 18 years ago and grew up normal, but the reality where I exist has only been that reality for like, five years.

[that makes sense, right? ~~don't answer~~]

[That... yeeeeah, wow. Shiro has seen and heard about a lot of crazy shit but this takes the cake. He can only stare for a second before finally answering.]

You weren't kidding about complicated. I know it can be frustrating not to understand where you can come from. [He's seen it with Keith, and... ok, after a pause, he gently nudges Billy with his right arm, then shows him the metal hand. He should share a bit in return.] The bad guys gave me this - I don't remember it.

[So yeah, Billy, when you said "all the appeal of Bucky Barnes without the aloof personality", you pretty much nailed it.]

I would says sorry but-- complicated as it may be, it sounds like you had a good young life.

Yeah, it's okay. I've got my issues, but it could've been a lot worse.

[Billy's gaze drops to the arm, brows furrowed. He'd sort of wondered, but you never know what can upset people, and losing a limb just sounds like one of those things. And it was never really relevant to getting to know Shiro at the start, anyway. But since he mentioned it-]

...Wonder what it is about bad guys that make 'em love giving people metal arms. I mean, doesn't it usually end up backfiring?

I would be very impressed if you didn't have any issues at all with this. It's understandable, Billy. Especially with your powers - I can't imagine what kind of weight you carry on your shoulders.

[And amnesia, Billy, giving people metal arms and amnesia, can't forget that. The question actually makes Shiro shrug. Billy's lucky that Kate has already told him about the Winter Soldier. In fact, he owes the guy one for the special punching bag in the Blameless.]

I can access all the touch panels in their bases now so-- I guess the answer is yes.

[At that, Billy can only offer him a wan smile and no further details. Most of the weight is that of his own making, and by no means anyone else's burden to share, so he tries not to talk about it. Stupid mistakes, hurting people important to him- it doesn't make for friendly conversation.

Metal arms are cooler, anyway.]

I guess if they're dumb enough to give you a fancy new weapon then they have to deal with the consequences.

[Shiro returns the smile and reaches to squeeze Billy's shoulder - a comforting gesture. It's ok, Billy doesn't have to say anything if he doesn't want to. Life and its weight for your shoulders can get complicated like that.]

I guess "fancy" is a way to call it. [He takes his hand away to activate it and show Billy the purple glow. Just in case he needed another reason why Shiro is Hawkeye approved.] I think of it as a literal tasting your own medicine.

[Billy blinks and tilts his head to get a better look, nodding his quiet approval. Not just a metal arm, but one that glows and is purple? yeah, he totally needs to razz Kate about this guy more. it's like he was custom built for her or something.]

Yeah, sounds about right. I've always liked the concept of karma, anyway. So is, uh. Is that thing hard to maintain out here?

[The glow disappears and Shiro flexes his fingers, watching them for a moment before finally answering Billy's question. A shrug.]

I never did any kind of maintenance on it, actually, except for cleaning it with a piece of cloth. I think it runs on my own body energy.

Whoa, it's even self-maintaining? They spoiled you. ...I mean, ignoring the fact that it's still a fake arm... just if you're looking on the bright side of things.

Spoiling me, huh? After a year of captivity, I guess it's the least they could do. [That's fine, Billy, he has the worst morbid sense of humor.]