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(no subject)

Who: Billy Kaplan / OTA
Broadcast: Yes
Action: On the Iskaulit
When: After all the chaos is settled!

So… all of that was horrible? I think that goes without saying. The less we have of that kind of thing going forward, the better.

Tangentially, but the personnel augment is kind of useless, isn't it? We get an office but not much in the way of marketable skills, we can't do anything with the ships in the middle of a crisis, we're not here for any big damn hero moments. It’s great if we’ve got other skills for that, but we can’t fix stuff, we can’t pilot people out of danger, we can’t arm those who don’t have powers...

...okay, sorry, I'm rambling. Getting to the point! Truth is, personnel - counselling - is meant for the aftermath. Therapy, in other words. If it doesn't exist where you're from, it pretty much means someone whose job it is to listen to you, no judgments, and offer advice if they can. Sometimes it's enough to just have somebody hear you out.

Anyway, I wanted to say that I'm tired of, like… not contributing much. So I'm gonna have an open door policy. Doesn't matter if you're not on my ship, doesn't matter if I don't even know you. You can even use the comm anonymously if you don't like the idea of coming in person. You make the rules.

If you're wondering about my qualifications… well, I've got ears. That's the most important part. But I did also grow up with this stuff- Mom’s a psychologist, I've seen her work, I’ve read some of her books. And I’ve gone to therapy. Kind of a lot. It's not a substitute for the real thing, but it's what I can offer.

Oh, and for the record, this isn't meant to call out anyone with the personnel augment, or steal your shipmates, or anything! This is more of a call to action. If you want in on this we can set up some kind of network.

I’m setting up shop on the Iskaulit and I’m gonna post active hours there. Stop by if you want to talk more one-on-one about it.

[True to his word, Billy’s in a spare room in the Iskaulit - sign on the door - and is decorating the place, though it’s kind of barebones for the moment. He can magic it pretty, but the last few months have been exhausting, so he’s taking it slow.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, it's a good thing you've got an example you can follow. Maybe you'll get lucky and there are other people who can lend a hand with all the rest you can't get to.

[Will he really have enough time to help anyone after taking on Snow? Will he?

At Billy's understandably hostile question, Snow shrugs and gives a half-hearted smile before holding up his arm.]

A gift and a curse. I don't have much choice in controlling it now. I use too much magic and that can happen.

[....ah. that's actually a pretty reasonable reason, in Billy's mind.]

Well... I can sympathize with that one, at least. I won't judge, but you should probably try to use less magic, in that case.

[Snow never said it wasn't reasonable for him to feel the way he does. It's just overwhelming different from how he started out. There's a reason he's such a cynical asshole now.]

Wish I could. Hard to tell what's too much though. Never... expected to come back from that, to be honest. It's usually a one way trip.

That's... I'm glad it worked, first of all, but I wonder why. I didn't do anything except put you to sleep.

[Snow comes into the office and looks around. It's nice. Sorta bigger than he expected, but he's not sure where he should be in the room. He leans against the wall and looks up at the ceiling like a lost man.]

Extreme emotional distress. Sure you've heard of it before.

Um, yeah. Definitely have. Mental note to maybe avoid that sort of thing with you.

[if Snow'd been on the receiving end of one of his, he wouldn't be conscious right now.]

I'm wondering more why knocking you out reversed it, I guess.

[Well, that would be great to know for a future date, but not usable right now.

Maybe.]

Honestly, I don't know. It might have something to do with the fact that this isn't my home world, I guess. And that that isn't the first time that's happened.

...Weird. I mean, I'll take it. Good to know for future reference, you know, just in case. I wish it was that easy with everyone.

[it's a pretty simple spell, in the grand scheme of things. and it might at least be a little comforting for Snow, if that's been a concern of his.]

I dunno if it'll work a second time. It's not like I've been kidnapped to space before all this.

[But, it can't hurt.]

I just... I can't control that. I'm glad you're okay though.

Yeah, me too. For both of us. If something like that ends up a problem in the future, we can work on it together, okay? Even if that doesn't work again, there's bound to be other options.

Billy, you and that other guy go lucky.

[Snow's face is 500000% serious and his voice drops the half-helpless tone.]

If it happens again, you need to kill me

[that's a very serious request that merits a serious answer. Unfortunately, Billy's got zero patience or sympathy for that particular road, so he snorts.]

Yeah, that's not happening, sorry.

[It's the most serious thing he's asked anyone to do, more serious than asking Noel or Gadot to look after Serah. Ant it's just been thrown back in his face.

Again.]

Billy... That thing I became, that's not really me. It's a monster called a cie'th and there's not supposed to be a way back from that.

[Let's not talk about the fact that that's the third time he's come back from it.]

It's just some mindless, soulless killing monster that failed at the most important thing in its life.

Okay, but one: you did come back, and two: did you know you hesitated right before you attacked us? Because that doesn't sell the whole "mindless" thing very well.

[He's not going to mention three: his no-kill policy, because he doesn't want Snow to just automatically jump to finding someone else to kill him off. That's too easy, and there's probably a fair number of people in the fleet who'd do it.]

Not the first time I've come back. Still not supposed to be the case, but when you're dealing with pricks posing as gods, the rules get tossed out. And I didn't know that I hesitated, but it's not that surprising. I don't like hurting people.

And I've always been stubborn.

I'd say ask Lightning, but she's not here.

[And if he isn't a Bitter Betty about that.]

Dunno who that is, but not gonna lie, I'm glad someone who'd agree to kill you isn't around for this.

[not that Snow can't ask someone else, but he's hoping they're not immediately, readily available.

anyway.]

Even if people can come back from the dead here, I don't like it. Avengers don't kill.

[Snow scoffs nastily under his breath.]

No, I'm not luckily enough to get Light to agree to kill me either. She keeps saying I'm too stubborn to die.

[All it means is she doesn't want to kill him and he should feel grateful, but he's just tired.]

I get it. I won't ask you to do it, but I'm also not going to avoid helping anyone that I can in the meantime.

[that's........ good? he'll pretend that's good. it's probably at least a little bit good.]

Dude, nobody's telling you to avoid helping people. ...At least, I'm not. All I'm saying is be careful, work in a group, know your limits. Helping people is good! But if you end up overwhelmed and that happens again, you won't be able to help anyone.

Sorry, me and limits aren't on speaking terms, Billy.

[Snow rubs a hand over his face.]

Look, I'm okay with maybe doing this. I don't know how it's supposed to work. You're the expert.

[oof. he'd disagree on the expert bit, but it's nitpicking- there probably aren't that many people qualified for this, with or without the vaguely helpful augment, so he's among the closest one could get. if Snow's looking for help, he won't say no over a technicality.]

Okay... well, let's start working towards maybe introducing you and limits. But one step at a time- the first rule of thumb is to figure out what makes you comfortable, what might get you talking. Not everybody likes the couch thing. What helps you relax?

Dunno. Been a while since I've felt relaxed.

[Since before Bhunivelze kidnapped Hope.]

Sparring, I guess.

Sparring, huh...

[therapy-training? been a while since he did much of the sort, but Teddy used to talk him through stuff while they trained sometimes, so it's not that far off.]

We could try that. See if it helps you at all, gets you to open up. Trust is a big part of sparring, after all.

Anything's worth the chance. Sitting around here isn't exactly inspiring a desire to spill my guts, if I'm being honest.

Let's do it, then. [He straightens up, capping the paint and dunking the roller in cleaner to let it soak.] I think there's an exercise room around here that can take some abuse.

[Snow stops feeling sorry for himself long enough to really look at the younger man.]

Right now? You wanna go there right now and start throwing punches with me? You're about the same size as the last person I went head-to-head with.