driftfleet | [Closed] When I wake up all alone

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[Closed] When I wake up all alone

Who: Zevran and Riona and then Zevran and Rowan
Broadcast: Nah
Action: Iskaulit, the Bluefish, and then finally the Bishop
When: After Rowan's drunken melt down and then 5 days forward

Action to Riona

[Zevran sits in the gardens of Iskaulit. His back slouches as he leans with his elbows on his knees and his eyes downcast on the ground. He looks like a wreck. Like he hasn't exactly slept in days, and it's true. It's difficult to sleep alone when he was so use to having a warm body next to him, or when his mind is racing with possibilities of where Rowan had been for an entire week. He isn't exactly sure what possessed him to think that Riona can help him, or if she even wants to deal with him right now. He knows he needs to get out of that room, off of the ship, and away from everything before he does something he regrets.

Maybe it's because Riona and Rowan were nearly the same people that he feels like he can trust her with this. He might not know her exactly, but one of his alternative selves knows her, and that is good enough for him. When he looks up next he sees her heading towards him. He finally smiles.]

Riona [Sorry for being a fucking mess, but you already knew that.] you didn't have to come out so late. Thank you.

Action to Rowan (Forward Dated)

[He's had time to clear his head. Riona and some wine helped quite a bit, but he's been home sick. Not for Thedas, but for the Bishop and that little room he's shared his nights with Rowan in. He's still thinking about certain things, how Rowan could have lived and they could have maybe been happy in their own world. But something tells him that even with that, that things might not have changed. They were both stubborn, and the only reason they got this far was because of what happen in their world.

He didn't want to dwell on those thoughts. They were useless and didn't matter. Things that would never be. They had this place now, the fleet and while dangerous it held them together. Zevran wouldn't let this chance slip away.]

You really haven't moved, have you?

[He smiles as enters their room and notices him right where Zevran left him.]

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[If not for his mental distress it might take a bit more. He's desperate though. When the dog whines he places his hands back on the dog's face to pull him closer. What a good dog. He frowns when she mentions Rowan. It sounds like she knows of his state though. Makes this conversation a little easier, but he still doesn't want to have it.]

I can only imagine.

[He tries off. His voice growing distance as he thinks about what had been said between them. Rowan could have lived.]

How did you survive the final battle?

[Kiter leans him into, offering that kind of special, furry comfort that only a four legged animal could provide.

Riona always wondered how things played out in Rowan's version of Thedas, in his journey. Obviously, at least one decision differed from hers. Perhaps the most heartbreaking one. Had he told the others of Morrigan's offer? Had Alistair even known? Judging by Zevran's question, she wonders.]

Exploiting a loop hole via Morrigan, if you want the short of it. She knew a way to circumvent what happens when a Warden kills an Archdemon. I took her up on her offer. [And thusly had to have Alistair do the work. To this day, it still doesn't sit well with her.] Did Rowan tell you, what her plan was?

[Maker bless Kiter. The only one with his shit together.

The more she speaks, the more he recalls Rowan's face before he left. The tightness in his chest returns. His eyes aren't quite in focus anymore, but his hands still move to pet the animal against him.]

He told me little. Only that it was dark magic and he didn't trust it.

[But if she took it, then it did work.]

[He truly is. The joys of being a dog.]

Well, he wasn't wrong. Morrigan said it was old magic. Certainly not the kind a good little Chantry goer would approve of.

[But she's a Warden, and Wardens don't poo-poo anything that helps stop the Blight. Okay, she could have stopped it without the magic, but then who would have lead the Wardens in Amaranthine?]

Was that his reason? He didn't trust it? Or that he didn't trust Morrigan?

[Zevran just shrugs.]

He wouldn't tell me anything more. I know that if he took it he could have lived but--

[He didn't think that part of worth it. Rowan didn't think that he, or Zevran, or anything that they could have been was worth it. He didn't know which thought hurt more.]

But he didn't think it was worth it.

["Have you ever loved someone you couldn't have?" "We had an agreement." And here Zevran sits, so terribly heartbroken over what he lost and could not have back home.

"But he didn't think it was worth it."

It explains a few things, albeit it also serves to break her heart even more. They were so close, but somehow something didn't get across. It left Rowan dead and Zevran with another hole in his heart.]

To think that little of yourself that your own life, and all its possibilities, wasn't worth it. [That's not a good state of mind. But it adds up, given his complete lack of self-care she's seen.] I wish I had the words, but there's not much changing what happened in Thedas, and I'm so sorry, Zevran. [She puts a hand on his shoulder.] But... you're both here now, and alive.

I know how that feeling is.

[It was because of Rowan that he got out of that awful mind state. And he could only guess that Riona helped in her own way with his alternate. He just thought that after all that they had been through, all that they had done, that they didn't need words to understand each other. Zevran already told Rowan once that he wanted to die. It was because of Rowan that he had his reason to live. After the battle, after everything, well....those thoughts had started to come back.]

I guess he's better at hiding it.

[He looks up at her after he feels that hand on his shoulder. He smiles. It's lacking in emotion, but still it's something. His hand folds over hers.]

I know too well that we can't change the past. No matter how hard we beg. It doesn't make it easier though.

[k. this is getting too real.]

Remind me why we didn't get together in your world?

[This... does remind her a lot of that conversation about Rinna, and why he had taken the job to kill her and Alistair. Fear creeps up her spine and wraps itself around her heart. He won't... will he? Her hand on his shoulder tightens.]

No, it doesn't. I could say that the Calling would come for him eventually, but that would still be years away. Years you two could have had. But you have a chance here, now. I know it's not quite the same, but, hey. No darkspawn.

[In short: don't blow the chance you've been given now.]

He and I... talked a bit. He's a chatty drunk. For what it's worth, I don't think he feels that way anymore. Which, on the one hand, means a lot of regrets. On the other... it means he knows he made a mistake.

[dat subject change. Zev. Buddy.]

Because I fell in love with Alistair. Don't even try it, serah. I know your tricks.

[The thought crossed his mind once or twice after the ashes cooled. It would have been easy, but Zevran was too much of a coward to take his own life. Maybe it was that fear that the Maker was real, and that would be the final straw against him. If he had a chance to see Rowan again at the side of the Maker, he wanted to at least have that. An honorable death at the end of a Crow's blade might do the trick though. A good reason to go to Antiva where he was a wanted man, which is where he was heading before coming here.

But that's a can of worms that he really doesn't want to open right now.]

He did apologize for that. [His hand moves through his hair. He feels like a mess right now.] He asked if I hated him.

[He glances up at her. His smile is a bit more honest now.]

Really? I mean I know he has that whole, broad and tall thing going. But really?

Edited (Edits 50 more times) 2017-11-29 04:27 (UTC)

[All she can do is be for him here. There's nothing she can do for him once he goes back home. She can't reach him there. No, she can't focus on that right now. They're here, and she can do something. Or at least, she'll try.]

Do you? Hate him?

[She doesn't think so, but she's curious to see what he has to say about it. The question is more to see how he says no, rather than trying to actually discern an answer.]

And just what's wrong with that, hm? [Eyebrow raise.]

No. [He says that without even a moment to think.] He's annoying at times, but no. I could never hate him.

[He cares too much for that man to ever hate him. When the next question comes he just grins. It's a real smile this time, and his holds his hands up in defense.]

Nothing! As long as he treats you right.

[It's good to see him smile, which is why she changed her mind and is letting him carry on this branch of conversation. If it helps him, then she'll indulge.] He does, don't you worry. We love each other a great deal. He's put up with a lot from me, Maker bless him, just like I suspect you've put up with a lot from Rowan. [Couslands are not the easiest people to deal with sometimes.] Painfully so, even. How did he wind up telling you about the ritual? That's not something one brings up casually.

[He nods in response as he glances down at the ground. He's glad that at least one Warden is happy in some universe. And then the mention of Rowan and the ritual. He sighs.]

He was drunk. I'm sure that it wasn't something he wanted to share.

[He pauses a moment and his smile slowly turns to a frown.]

I told him wanted him to live.

[Perhaps not, but it clearly seems like it needed to be shared. The truth hurts, but hiding it and maintaining a secret becomes a poison after awhile. And it turns out to be much worse when it does, eventually, reveal itself.]

...mmm. That might not have been the best timing on his part. Not that you didn't have a right to know, but... that should have been saved for a less emotionally wrought moment. I'm sorry that's how you had to hear about it.

[Drunkenness and tact don't often go hand in hand.

Riona stands up suddenly, wiping off the back of her pants before looking at Zevran.]

We can keep talking, but let's head back to my ship. I have an idea or two that can help ease things, even if it doesn't do much to ultimately solve anything.

Wish I knew sooner.

[Nothing to change it now though. The way that Rowan acted towards it, makes him wonder what exactly the ritual was. He only knew it was Morrigan and darker magic. But most things with Morrigan would be less than stellar.

He nods when she suggests taking their leave. He's glad that she invites him to her ship. He just can't deal with the Bishop right now. His smile is a little easier as he stands with her.]

You do? Keeping it to yourself?

[So does Rowan, if what transpired earlier is any indication.

Kiter gets up, tail wagging a bit before he stretches himself out. Riona smiles conspiratorially, shrugging a bit as she beckons him to follow her.]

Why ruin the surprise? Besides, it would honestly be easier to just show you.

I'm curious now.

[He still follows though.]

I haven't been on another ship besides the Bishop. Is it similar?

Edited 2017-12-01 22:59 (UTC)

I do love building suspense.

[She leads them out of the gardens and into the hallway. The Iskaulit is still like a maze to her sometimes, but this pathway she's familiar with at least.]

More or less. They're mapped out the same. Of course, what each ship has differs on the augments of the people on board. Since we have a medic again, we have a full med bay. A ship who doesn't have one won't.

Interesting.

[A ship without a medic....Hm that would be a rather large hole to fill.]

Exactly what augment did you receive coming here?

I came in with the communications augment. I got switched to tactical without warning some months later. And then after a particular incident, I switched to pilot, which is what I am now.

[Kiter gallops ahead as the end of the hallway nears. It's not too far to where her shuttle is parked.]

What's yours?

You are a pilot?

[All of that sounds stressful, but pilot even more so than the rest.]

So, is it like a horse? [Because that's the only thing he can really compare it to.]

I am security, but from what you say that could change at any moment it appears.

I am. While not my forte, admittedly, at least now our ship has a pilot. Not... that it helped much when we got shot down. [Yeah she's never gonna forgive herself for that one. First mate and a pilot, and she couldn't keep her crew out of harm's way.] It's... similar to a sea ship, I imagine. Never steered one, but I've been on one, and my mother certainly had enough experience with them and told me plenty about it.

[At least the tales were entertaining.]

I don't think it happens often. Outside of me, I don't know anyone else it's happened to. You could switch at any time, if there's something else you prefer.

I haven't driven one of those. Too bad Isabela isn't here. She might know.

[He isn't sure if he wants to switch yet. He still isn't exactly sure what he is suppose to do, seeing as he has only been in orbit for a few weeks.]

It sounds entertaining though.

Ahhh yeah she would, wouldn't she? She was here briefly, but you missed her by a few months.

[She's not sure if she's bummed or relieved Isabela and Zevran aren't here at the same time...

They come out of the hallway and into the hangar area where the shuttles are docked. Kiter's already waiting patiently besides Riona's shuttle.]

Would you like to hop a ride with me, or take your own to the ship?

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[Closed] When I wake up all alone

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