leilani lavellan. (
veilstrike) wrote in
driftfleet2017-12-12 08:54 pm
video
Who: Leilani Lavellan and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: On the Blue Fish
When: Now, after gifts have been opened!
[ The video opens with Leilani fiddling with something in her hands, but she's quick to turn her attention to the camera and focus on the people she's talking to. She's well practiced at the art of focussing her attention on people rather than things; the Inquisition had demanded it from her, and she barely had any time of her own. No time for worries or fears or sadness; only work and fighting for whatever future Thedas had left. ]
In my clan we did not celebrate the winter as the rest of the world did. I didn't recognise that there were different celebrations until I became the Inquisitor, and then it felt as though I was pretending to understand something that was completely alien to me.
[ Frowning, she drops the necklace from her hands. ]
I'd like to know more about your traditions, if you'll appease me. I've never had much time to sit and talk about these sorts of things, so anything that you might be able to tell me would be welcome. There is always time to learn something new.
[ It also distracts her, so it's a welcome relief. ]
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: On the Blue Fish
When: Now, after gifts have been opened!
[ The video opens with Leilani fiddling with something in her hands, but she's quick to turn her attention to the camera and focus on the people she's talking to. She's well practiced at the art of focussing her attention on people rather than things; the Inquisition had demanded it from her, and she barely had any time of her own. No time for worries or fears or sadness; only work and fighting for whatever future Thedas had left. ]
In my clan we did not celebrate the winter as the rest of the world did. I didn't recognise that there were different celebrations until I became the Inquisitor, and then it felt as though I was pretending to understand something that was completely alien to me.
[ Frowning, she drops the necklace from her hands. ]
I'd like to know more about your traditions, if you'll appease me. I've never had much time to sit and talk about these sorts of things, so anything that you might be able to tell me would be welcome. There is always time to learn something new.
[ It also distracts her, so it's a welcome relief. ]

no subject
[ She can't lie, though. She had been close enough with Varric, close enough to know him - she had been on so many journeys with him, so many wanders through marshes and towns... And, yet... How much of himself did Varric keep private?
More than she could guess, she imagines. ]
He was happy, sometimes. He liked being around so many people, and having something to do. He had something to focus on, a cause to push himself towards. I think he blamed himself sometimes, too, for the Red Lyrium, for Corypheus, for keeping Hawke - you - a secret. It was hard for him, but...
[ She sighs, softly. ]
He was happy. More often than not.
no subject
I'm glad to hear it. He shouldn't have to take on that guilt. Corypheus should have been my burden to bear.
[He shakes his head.]
I'm sorry he became yours.
no subject
[ That, at least, she can say, and the way she says it is filled with the conviction of someone who knows the truth. She knows who truly made Corypheus a problem, and her hand and her necklace burn in tandem with one another even as she frowns, soured, just a little.
She glances away, trying to dodge the topic even as she tackles it face on. ]
I know what gave him the strength to do as he did. It was nothing that you nor any version of you could have stopped. Do not feel guilt for it, please.
no subject
I see Varric didn't give you the whole story. I understand why.
[He sighs, flexing his hands out of view of the feed.]
Corypheus couldn't have been freed at all if it weren't for my blood. My father was the one who sealed him, I was the one who undid that seal. If I'd known it would end up like it did, I swear I never would have tried to leave that damned prison. So, it's kind of you to say I shouldn't feel guilt but there it is. Blood of the Hawke freed Corypheus and nearly ended the world.
[Why does he always end up doing this, spilling his truths to the very people who would hate him most for it?]
no subject
[ And there it is. She shakes her head, frowning, her attention turning to one side. ]
He would have found a way, even if you had not been there. The fault is not only yours to bear, Hawke. Perhaps you were responsible for freeing him, but you were not responsible for giving him the power he needed to carry out some of his plans. That is not your burden to bear.
no subject
Both of us, then. I can't promise I don't feel responsible but shared guilt is easier, at least.
[He pauses.]
I'm sorry to have pressed something so distressing.
no subject
He is dead. We killed him - Corypheus. He won't be bothering anyone again.
[ She hopes, at least. The Whispers from the Well had been helpful on that count, and Leilani can do no more than offer a very weak smile. ]
It's not a wound that will heal any time soon. Don't worry.
no subject
[Gives him hope for his.]
And wounds that don't heal are always cause for concern, Lady Inquisitor. Maybe being in the fleet and having distance will help? It's done wonders for me.
[Which is the closest he can get to admitting he doesn't want to go back at all to anyone besides his closest confidants.]
no subject
[ And they did both those things; she can understand why people thought that it would disband after that. All the same...
Leaning back, Leilani shakes her head, offering a slightly less morose smile. ]
My name is Leilani. I've never been very good with titles. [ But she shakes her head. ] Distance would only help if the matter was closed.
no subject
He does know her name too, but he supposes she's telling him again to make a point about not liking her title.]
Is it not? I'm sorry, the Inquisitor Levellan from my Thedas was a very different person. Male, for one, so I expect he made different choices when it came to romance.
[Qunari, of all things. He doesn't even want to think of how that worked logistically. Or maybe he does. And has. Often.]
no subject
That makes her smile, at least, and she nods her head. ]
I'm almost afraid to ask.
no subject
[Just let that sink in for a moment.
Gianni sure did.]He's a nice enough guy. Excellent views on dragons and drinking, don't get me wrong, he's just...
[Uhh....]
Well I guess who wouldn't be at least a little curious?
no subject
[ She just grins, shaking her head. ]
I do not blame him. I was curious myself - very curious.
no subject
[What is it with these tiny elves and enormous Qunari????]
I'm not sure I want to know.
no subject
[ She had been interested in Solas before Bull had joined the Inquisition, and after that she had noted Dorian's interested. She wasn't going to step on her best friend's toes. ]
I never saw him without his pants.
no subject
Probably better for you, honestly. He's a very large man.
[Did he just say that? Yes he did. Awesome.]
Well. This got awkward.
[What a ride.]
no subject
He is very large. There's no doubting that. He could carry me on one shoulder.
no subject
[Good thing he's on their side! He'd hate to think of Leilani or Cyril going through anything like he did with the Arishok. That fight was terrifying.]
But I seem to have gotten us off the original topic. Honestly I think anything is fine for holidays as long as you spend them with friends, old or new.
no subject
[ She's definitely teasing, especially with how she's grinning. ]
I think that sounds like a good way to spend my time.
no subject
[He clutches his chest dramatically, playing along.]
But yes, true friends are far more a reason to celebrate. Glad you agree.