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Who: Leilani Lavellan and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: On the Blue Fish
When: Now, after gifts have been opened!

[ The video opens with Leilani fiddling with something in her hands, but she's quick to turn her attention to the camera and focus on the people she's talking to. She's well practiced at the art of focussing her attention on people rather than things; the Inquisition had demanded it from her, and she barely had any time of her own. No time for worries or fears or sadness; only work and fighting for whatever future Thedas had left. ]

In my clan we did not celebrate the winter as the rest of the world did. I didn't recognise that there were different celebrations until I became the Inquisitor, and then it felt as though I was pretending to understand something that was completely alien to me.

[ Frowning, she drops the necklace from her hands. ]

I'd like to know more about your traditions, if you'll appease me. I've never had much time to sit and talk about these sorts of things, so anything that you might be able to tell me would be welcome. There is always time to learn something new.

[ It also distracts her, so it's a welcome relief. ]

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Something like that.

[ She can't lie, though. She had been close enough with Varric, close enough to know him - she had been on so many journeys with him, so many wanders through marshes and towns... And, yet... How much of himself did Varric keep private?

More than she could guess, she imagines. ]

He was happy, sometimes. He liked being around so many people, and having something to do. He had something to focus on, a cause to push himself towards. I think he blamed himself sometimes, too, for the Red Lyrium, for Corypheus, for keeping Hawke - you - a secret. It was hard for him, but...

[ She sighs, softly. ]

He was happy. More often than not.

[A cause? Now that's new. Other than coin or making morons pay, Adalwolfe hadn't known Varric to have a cause. But he was there too when they'd freed Corypheus, and what Leilani says checks out. He knows Varric courts guilt the same way he courts fans.]

I'm glad to hear it. He shouldn't have to take on that guilt. Corypheus should have been my burden to bear.

[He shakes his head.]

I'm sorry he became yours.

Corpyheus was not your fault.

[ That, at least, she can say, and the way she says it is filled with the conviction of someone who knows the truth. She knows who truly made Corypheus a problem, and her hand and her necklace burn in tandem with one another even as she frowns, soured, just a little.

She glances away, trying to dodge the topic even as she tackles it face on. ]

I know what gave him the strength to do as he did. It was nothing that you nor any version of you could have stopped. Do not feel guilt for it, please.

[Oh how wrong you are you sweet summer child. Or at least that's what Adalwolfe thinks.]

I see Varric didn't give you the whole story. I understand why.

[He sighs, flexing his hands out of view of the feed.]

Corypheus couldn't have been freed at all if it weren't for my blood. My father was the one who sealed him, I was the one who undid that seal. If I'd known it would end up like it did, I swear I never would have tried to leave that damned prison. So, it's kind of you to say I shouldn't feel guilt but there it is. Blood of the Hawke freed Corypheus and nearly ended the world.

[Why does he always end up doing this, spilling his truths to the very people who would hate him most for it?]

Corypheus would never have been strong enough to do what he did if my lover had not given him the power to do it.

[ And there it is. She shakes her head, frowning, her attention turning to one side. ]

He would have found a way, even if you had not been there. The fault is not only yours to bear, Hawke. Perhaps you were responsible for freeing him, but you were not responsible for giving him the power he needed to carry out some of his plans. That is not your burden to bear.

[That's news. Her lover? Someone had betrayed the Inquisition? But Adalwolfe doesn't want to pry, not about that. Or at least not yet. His Lavellan is bedding the Qunari and so he expects Leilani paired herself to someone fairer. He and Marian had romanced different people, as did Riona and Rowen, so it serves to reason all the Lavellans would be different too. He should probably find out who it was and maybe try to warn his own Inquisition should he ever get back, but... well. He doesn't want to make it worse for Leilani now.]

Both of us, then. I can't promise I don't feel responsible but shared guilt is easier, at least.

[He pauses.]

I'm sorry to have pressed something so distressing.

[ It's a touchy subject and as soon as she's said it all she feels a little bit like the weight is off her chest and she practically deflates. She has never been a fan of people suffering under burdens that they should be free from, and Corypheus is a touchy nerve - for obvious reasons. Bowing her head, she closes her eyes, shaking just a little. ]

He is dead. We killed him - Corypheus. He won't be bothering anyone again.

[ She hopes, at least. The Whispers from the Well had been helpful on that count, and Leilani can do no more than offer a very weak smile. ]

It's not a wound that will heal any time soon. Don't worry.

So I hear from other versions of Thedas as well. It's a comfort to know that happens in more than one.

[Gives him hope for his.]

And wounds that don't heal are always cause for concern, Lady Inquisitor. Maybe being in the fleet and having distance will help? It's done wonders for me.

[Which is the closest he can get to admitting he doesn't want to go back at all to anyone besides his closest confidants.]

It was the reason the Inquisition was made. Our job was to close the Breach and stop Corypheus.

[ And they did both those things; she can understand why people thought that it would disband after that. All the same...

Leaning back, Leilani shakes her head, offering a slightly less morose smile. ]

My name is Leilani. I've never been very good with titles. [ But she shakes her head. ] Distance would only help if the matter was closed.

[It shouldn't have been if Wolfe had just done his job, but they could go on in circles for decades and never solve the argument so he lets it go.

He does know her name too, but he supposes she's telling him again to make a point about not liking her title.]

Is it not? I'm sorry, the Inquisitor Levellan from my Thedas was a very different person. Male, for one, so I expect he made different choices when it came to romance.

[Qunari, of all things. He doesn't even want to think of how that worked logistically. Or maybe he does. And has. Often.]

[ Leilani accepts that it happened and that, in the end, there was someone else who was to blame for the strength that Corypheus grew to. It has very little to do with Hawke's involvement - and who can defeat an immortal-esque Magister alone, anyway?

That makes her smile, at least, and she nods her head. ]

I'm almost afraid to ask.

The Iron Bull?

[Just let that sink in for a moment. ~~Gianni sure did~~.]

He's a nice enough guy. Excellent views on dragons and drinking, don't get me wrong, he's just...

[Uhh....]

Well I guess who wouldn't be at least a little curious?

Oh, Bull.

[ She just grins, shaking her head. ]

I do not blame him. I was curious myself - very curious.

Really?

[What is it with these tiny elves and enormous Qunari????]

I'm not sure I want to know.

Not curious enough. I was captivated far earlier, I'm afraid.

[ She had been interested in Solas before Bull had joined the Inquisition, and after that she had noted Dorian's interested. She wasn't going to step on her best friend's toes. ]

I never saw him without his pants.

[Oh. Damn. Actually he did sort of want to know maybe a little.]

Probably better for you, honestly. He's a very large man.

[Did he just say that? Yes he did. Awesome.]

Well. This got awkward.

[What a ride.]

[ That just makes her burst out laughing, covering her mouth with a hand. ]

He is very large. There's no doubting that. He could carry me on one shoulder.

I'm pretty sure one of his palms is larger than my face.

[Good thing he's on their side! He'd hate to think of Leilani or Cyril going through anything like he did with the Arishok. That fight was terrifying.]

But I seem to have gotten us off the original topic. Honestly I think anything is fine for holidays as long as you spend them with friends, old or new.

You mean this wasn't a secret ploy to learn more about riding the Bull?

[ She's definitely teasing, especially with how she's grinning. ]

I think that sounds like a good way to spend my time.

You wound me, messere.

[He clutches his chest dramatically, playing along.]

But yes, true friends are far more a reason to celebrate. Glad you agree.

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