(no subject)

[complicatedliar]

Who: Loki
Broadcast: Yes
Action: On the Vanquish
When: Current

[Action]
[As getting unceremoniously deposited in another realm goes, this doesn't even make Loki's top ten. No one's shooting at him. He didn't get sucked through a black hole. He's not even anywhere close in space, if the stars are any judge. And so the stay on the Marsiva is downright... relaxing once he breathes through his moment of oh Hell at thinking he's been dragged onto the ship he and Thor had just seen.

(And where is Thor, by the way? Well, they tend to run across each other eventually, despite either of their best efforts.)

And then he gets dumped onto yet another, much smaller ship. With confetti.

He's really tired of getting thrown around. He'd like to stab someone over it, really. But it's the same game as Sakaar: Get the lay of the land. Play it externally nice. Figure out how to claw to the top and stick a sharp dagger into the right person's back. And so on.

And in the meantime... guided by an urge he doesn't quite understand, he finds himself in the ship's kitchen, still having avoided the occupants--he knows there are some, since he can smell them--and confronted with the primitive setup. And ingredients. And an itch in his fingers and the back of his brain. And... well.

Two hours later, he's staring broodily at a very fine Smörgåstårta and wondering just what is even going on.]

This has got to be one of the odder things that's ever happened to me.

[He's bemused. He didn't even do anything this time.

And Smörgåstårta is a good listener. Apparently.]

[Network]
[He might as well make the most of this bizarre situation, Loki decides. Start the ingratiating and figuring out the social dynamics of this spatial armpit, all that. He takes a very nice picture of the Smörgåstårta and deposits it onto the network, with a message:]

Dinner is served.

Comments

[outstandingbalance]

[Welcome to Vanquish; being here means that Natasha doesn't have to waste time shuttling over to get to the kitchen. She just needs to leave her quarters and peak in.

Thor has brought her up to date on events—assuming Loki is from the same timeline as his brother.]

I wouldn't have pegged you for a chef.

[Standing to one side, very pointedly not taking an aggressive stance.]

Augment?

[complicatedliar]

[Loki maintains his pose of bemused, but absolute, relaxation. He entertains, for a split second, the idea of pretending he has no idea who she is, but if she's here, his brother well might be, and then... no, not worth that level of juggling. Even if having people around who think they know all about you is bloody annoying.]

Ah, Agent Romanoff. I have a wealth of hidden talents.

[He rubs the bridge of his nose with one finger.] Though that's presumably how I knew how to operate this primitive... thing. [The finger flicks at the oven.]

network;

[universal_charm]

Dinner or dessert?

network;

[complicatedliar]

It is whatever you wish it to be.

text.

[rebuildyourruins]

Did you make that or get it from the planet?

[Because honestly if they had Smörgåstårta on Selvig-9 and Thor missed it, he's going to be so annoyed at himself.]

text.

[complicatedliar]

[Well, that answers that question. He's... relieved? Yes, actually. What a weird feeling.]

What planet? I took it from my pocket.

Action

[dreamofakuze]

[Shit food just sort of came with the territory when it came to life on a ship, so what the Vanquish had to offer was fairly par-for the course. So when some smell that was half-way decent starts coming from the kitchen, Shepard has no choice but to need to investigate.

Plus, this was half his ship now, he needed to know what was going on with it.

He stops just inside the doorway and looks from...food(?) to man to the questionably edible substance on display.]

What is that?

Action

[complicatedliar]

[Someone he doesn't know. That's good. Useful even.]

A Smörgåstårta. [Might need a better explanation than that.] A savory... cake, of sorts.

And you are?

Network

[beneathmoonlight]

I’ve never tried that before...but it looks...yummy?

Network

[complicatedliar]

It will be the best of its kind you have ever tasted, I assure you.

[selfhelp]

[good lord talk about complex food design.]

can't tell if salad or cake

[complicatedliar]

Yes.

[Helpfully.]

text;;

[fantachetic]

I was starting to believe there was no one with a sense of culture here. Well done.

text;;

[complicatedliar]

[He catches himself before actually sending, well, this place does seem to be lousy with humans.

No, no. Playing nice. Being ingratiating until the lay of the land, blah blah blah.]

Surely not. This seems a relaxing place for the arts to be practiced.

action

[brainiest]

Do many odd things happen to you?

[ Hermione walks into the kitchen, tilting her head and offering him a small smile. ]

Or is that a bit of a silly question?

action

[complicatedliar]

I'm a magnet for them. [He makes most of them happen by poking things that ought not be poked.

But he gives the little human a pleasant smile.] Do you often ask silly questions?

text

[alwayscomeback]

Does it have meat in it?

[Asking the important questions. ]

text

[complicatedliar]

Considering what was in this kitchen, I'd say it has "meat" in it.

text

[poisontippedcure]

It looks edible, at least.

[That's a compliment. A very well disguised compliment.]

text

[complicatedliar]

What a shame. That isn't what I was going for at all.

action

[scanninggaydis]

[There's actually someone cooking in the kitchen? They haven't had someone to do that (at least not well) in a couple months.

Felix pokes his head in, and is confronted with...well. It's...food? It looks like food, anyway. Vaguely.]

...I'm trying to decide what could actually be inside that.

[Manners, Felix.]

action

[complicatedliar]

It contains all possibilities in the universe until you've cut a slice and ruined it all.

[Loki smiles sweetly and holds up a knife.]

action.

[paraclete]

[Ah. Perfect. Looks like Kaworu has found his mark, and so he steps evenly into the kitchen, his footfalls equal parts confident and calm. He's a slight young man, not much to him, awfully pale but with warmth in his face regardless. He's also cradling a couple handfuls of confetti. It is, notably, not the confetti that had greeted Loki upon his arrival...]

Oh, that's so nice, [he remarks, sounding quite genuine, if tepid. He's stepping in closer, the relative flurry of him disturbing some of that confetti.] Hi.

action.

[complicatedliar]

[Loki eyes the confetti with the air of a man who will come up stabbing if it gets any closer to him.] It's one of my few talents. Hello.

voice, because she doesn't feel like typing

[passingthrough]

Shouldn't you at least let us know if you're the version we remember who was dating a friend of ours [Yes, collectively our friend. Makes total sense.] or some fresh-faced trickster god before you start in with the weird stuff?

voice

[complicatedliar]

I'd no idea I was speaking to a hive organism. [Royal "we" his left foot.] Does the honey prosper?

video

[the_tailor]

Whoa. What's that? That looks really good.

video

[complicatedliar]

It's a Smörgåstårta.

We catch and kill them in the wild, where I'm from.

Network

[ginger_firebird]

Is that a cake?

Network

[complicatedliar]

Damn, I thought it was an orrery.