i'm a space cowboy, bet you weren't ready for that

[straightouttacarbonite]

Who: Han Solo + anyone on the Caprine
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Also yes
When: right before/after the 2/10 Shuffle

[ It's just about Han's luck that he, uh. Oversleeps.

That is to say, he wakes up on the Marsiva and has barely enough time to get his bearings-- to find his blaster missing and sidle over to the wide windows in the viewing bay to stare out at the unfamiliar stars-- before--

Okay, he actually has no idea before what. What happens. One minute he is quietly, definitely not panicking about the fact that he has no idea where he is, and then he's somewhere else with less idea of where he is, and confetti.

It takes him a few minutes more to catch up and (sort of) figure out the communicator, and by the time he actually tries to reach out, he looks visibly harried. ]

Okay, look, I really don't have time for whatever this is... And where is my ship?!

[ Because that is definitely the most. important. question. of all! ]

Comments

[straightouttacarbonite]

A starship. [ What does he look like, a Pamarthan? ] I was heading for the Outer Rim and then...

Okay, I have no clue what happened then. I ended up wherever here is.

[passingthrough]

[He might. She isn't sure what a Pamarthan is. He does look kind of familiar though. But that's not too unusual. She's logged a lot of time in interdimensional traps where people come and go all the time.]

Yeah, that's kind of their thing. You were abducted along with the rest of us. We're in the Shinda BR-10 system right now and my guess is you've never heard of it since none of us ever recognize the places we get sent. [She stops looking through her notes to look at him more fully.] Do you know what a reality show is?

[straightouttacarbonite]

[ In fairness he doesn't really not look like a Pamarthan. Though he's about six thousand times likelier to get seasick. ]

No, and no. What's it mean?

[passingthrough]

[Those are some bad odds!]

That's what they tell us they want us for. In theory they're broadcasting everything we do out to...someone somewhere to watch as entertainment. We get bonuses for being more entertaining and thus having higher ratings. I never fully believe anything that people say mysterious overlords have said at some point, but it's the working theory everyone has.

[straightouttacarbonite]

....Okay, that might be it.

[passingthrough]

What might be what?

[straightouttacarbonite]

The craziest thing I ever heard.

[passingthrough]

Oh, I can do better than that.

[straightouttacarbonite]

I'm not sure that I want you to.

[passingthrough]

You probably shouldn't. That stuff can wait. I'm Kitty.

[straightouttacarbonite]

I really, really hope we don't have time to get into it. Nothing personal, just, I gotta be somewhere.

Han Solo.

[passingthrough]

[Oh, no, she's definitely heard that name, but she's not sure why. Seriously, she's met just oodles of people and people who mention other people.]

No, I get it. I was thinking the same thing two years ago.

[straightouttacarbonite]

Two years? I don't have two years. I probably don't even have two days.

[ Look, he really doesn't want to be That Guy and pull the whole the fate of democracy in the galaxy is in my hands thing but... but....!! ]

[passingthrough]

Best laid plans... They like to pull people out at dramatic moments. Better for the ratings I guess.

Some people say you go back to the moment you left for what it's worth. [She doesn't put a lot of stock into that. She went from one of these places to another one of these places and the first one was a shared virtual reality. That really messes with your concept of reality. She's not so sure she ever left. But why pass those concerns along when they haven't helped her get out any faster?]

[straightouttacarbonite]

[ That kind of talk might inspire an existential crisis in some. Han is not that kind of guy. He'd just assume she's nuts. Even plenty of people he trusts and believes about some things are crazier than a naked Mon Cal on Tatooine. ]

I mean, it's not like any of this seems all that possible. Why not?

[passingthrough]

"Why not" is about as good as it gets.

Anyway, judging by the confetti on your shoulder and the background not looking like the Marsiva that you've been assigned to a ship already. Probably the Caprine? It was pretty low on people last I looked at the roster. They also shoved an augment in the back of your neck complete with extra languages and a new skill set. I wouldn't try taking it out.

Actually I would and did try taking it out and things got...bad. So, I wouldn't try again without some really good reason to think it could work this time.

[straightouttacarbonite]

[ Yeeah, he hasn't quite noticed that. He's gonna take some time to freak out about that quietly.

Which he will, to an extent he's Definitely not going to mention, for an assortment of reasons he doesn't plan to discuss. ]

I had a ship.

[ Yeah, he already said that, but he's swiftly dipping into a crummy mood here. ]

What kinda hyperdrives are we looking at here?

[passingthrough]

[Let her get out a tiny violin for your ship, sir.]

That depends. What's a hyperdrive?

[straightouttacarbonite]

Yeah, that pretty much answers my question.

So, all together, we're stuck here with weird chips in our head bumbling along under light speed so some mysterious crime syndicate can watch us get cabin fever and maybe get eaten by cannibals. Just great.

[passingthrough]

Oh good, someone told you about the cannibals. Did they mention the slavers too? We have the best welcome stories.

But yeah, you've got it.

[straightouttacarbonite]

I'd better stop asking questions.

[passingthrough]

It's definitely safer that way, but it won't actually stop strange things from happening either.