[ intro post ] we come from the land of ice and snow

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Video
Action: Marsiva
When: Right now!

[ The feed clicks on as Loki is prodding the various appliances in open curiosity before he realizes it is working. With a smirk, Loki smartly claims a seat, crossing his legs and looking smug. ]

Ah, hello. I'm thrilled to be among such a — [ His eyes flicker to the lights and his smirk drops by an iota before it comes back in full force. ] — charming establishment. But I believe you have something of mine. An acquaintance. He's rather tall, prone to running into walls and likes petting things that bite him. If you could direct him to me, I'd be most appreciative.

I have attached an artist's rendition for your perusal.

Comments

[mucked]

I don't work for SHIELD.

[ not yet, at any rate. with a bit of grace and good luck she might never do. it's a tricky circumstance. ]

[dothelokimotion]

No, but you are SHIELD, aren't you?

[mucked]

In instances such as these, we ought to mind our tenses. [ and it's no secret, not here in the fleet, so she continues. ] It's possible that I will be SHIELD.

[ she's not looking forward to it. knowing what she knows, now. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki waves a flippant hand which shows how much he cares about tenses. He's a God, time holds little meaning. ]

Are you having second thoughts?

[mucked]

I could be having third and fourth thoughts for all it matters. [ ... ] I'm stuck here, aren't I? Hard to become that person when I'm not back home to become her.

[dothelokimotion]

[ For the briefest of moments, Loki feels a twinge of sympathy. ]

Who do you want to become then?

[mucked]

[ trick question, innit? there's who she wants to be back home and there's who she wants to be here. the two concepts have been more at odds, of late, than they'd ever been before. a hazard (she believes) of her engagement and impending nuptials. ]

Staying Peggy Carter doesn't seem so bad. [ because she's not ashamed of who she is -- only who she might turn into. ] What about you? Truth is, you're not such a pain the arse to talk with compared to the last time I met you.

[dothelokimotion]

[ He bristles slightly. Loki has never liked being seen through even if he's not as opaque as he pretends to be. But he cocks his head as if to say touché. ]

I am capable of change.

[ What that change will lead to, what it means — Loki doesn't know yet. All he knows is that he's made the first step. He'll hold onto that ground for as long as he can. ]

[mucked]

I like to think that most of us are on some fundamental level. What I question more often is a person's willingness to change.

[ which isn't a dig, surprisingly. just a frank observation. ]

-- Inelegant as it is, I think I need to ask about more than merely your capacity for change. I need to ask you whether you consider yourself changed from the person I read about in that SHIELD file.

[ there will be no magic word. no perfect switch to flip to find trust of any sort. after all, who is she to him? a skeleton in someone else's closet. unimportant. doesn't stop her from asking. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ He has a lot of responses he could give, but he holds off on them for now. ]

And why should I answer?

[mucked]

[ while a good chunk of the others look to steve rogers, steve rogers looks to peggy carter in turn. if he gets it into his head to make a mess of this fragile peace, she might be an enterprising person's best chance at avoiding complications. but she doesn't say as much. some things are indeed too inelegant to say.

especially when they're not meant for kindness or even for extortion, but rather for a world-weary exhaustion. she's grown tired of watching cracks carve the spaces between people from home. god, maybe she has been here too long. ]

Because if you do it's an answer you get to control. Unlike the answers other people might try and give on your behalf.

[ and not just those arrayed against him. it's a chance to set the record straight with regards to his brother's soft touch, as well. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki laughs softly, a low rich sound. ]

Fair enough. I do own my narrative and I'm loathe to share it.

[ He leans back. He could easily mention that he's technically saved Midgard twice over. Once, during the Dark Elves and now with Hela. He could mention that Asgard is gone and it took the rest of Loki's path with it, the pros and cons. All good, useful answers. Factual, even. Thor would corroborate and if others from Asgard showed up (Valkyrie, Heimdall), they would as well.

In the end though, Loki picks what works for himself. ]

I'm changed enough not to follow in the footsteps of the past. And have no interest to. I've learned.

[mucked]

As feelings go, that one happens to be rather mutual.

[ owning one's narrative, that is. what he speaks about change gets merely an accepting head nod, something to chew over and stitch into the fabric of her opinion. but that first bit! oh, that first bit she knows a little too intimately.

everyone else has tried to take her story and tell it some other way. she misses when it was her own alone. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki has never fully had his narrative until now. Asgard's death is a sorrow but also a cleansing of all the opinions they had put on him. ]

I imagine yours is a little more positive. But I understand that it feels the same, regardless of where it goes.

[mucked]

I'm assured it will be. [ positive. ] In time. But it's all rather dreary back home, in my current year.

Those who rock boats are not always looked on with kindness.

[dothelokimotion]

Assurances on one's future are the worst kind of burden.

[ It's why Loki retaliated so badly in the end. Good or ill, it could never be his until now. ]