video;

[livesfastdiesung]

Who: Freyja Wion & YOU
Broadcast: Yep.
Action: Nah
When: RIGHT NOW

[When Freyja's face appears, she looks annoyed. Probably the most annoyed she's ever looked, let's be real here, because it's Freyja.

She holds up an apple.]

These apples are offensive to apples! It's offensive to other kinds of fruit, too! Has anyone else tried anythin' here??

Comments

[this_loser]

Er... Yeah? They taste fine...?

[livesfastdiesung]

No they don't!

Apples are supposed to taste all apple-y, and these don't taste all apple-y.

[this_loser]

They're a little different, but they're still good! They're alien apples!

[livesfastdiesung]

But apples have a distinct apple-y taste! Mixin' another fruit in that isn't an apple just makes it weird!

[this_loser]

Oh. Well, I'm sorry the apples here are sub-par. Maybe the next planet will have something better?

[livesfastdiesung]

Maybe... I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

[this_loser]

Anyway, there's lots of types of apples, right? Couldn't you just think of the ones here as a different kind?

[livesfastdiesung]

[But that's the OBVIOUS solution!!]

I suppose I could! It's still just a little weird, though!

[this_loser]

Everything about this place is weird.

[vartex]

[Of course. Of course it would be the apples.]

What's the matter with them?

[They're apparently not poisonous and are nutritional enough, so wtf??]

[livesfastdiesung]

They don't taste right! There's something wrong!

[vartex]

It's food from an alien planet. You shouldn't expect all apples to taste like the ones you know.

[livesfastdiesung]

I know they're not gonna be exactly the same, but havin' the taste of another fruit seems like betrayal!

[vartex]

Then don't eat them.

[A simple solution to a simple problem.]

[livesfastdiesung]

[But that's logical and sensible and Freyja is anything but usually.]

But I can't help it.

[vartex]

Then don't complain if you're bringing it upon yourself.

[There's no solution to this problem, Freyja...]

[postocular]

What do you have against apples?

[livesfastdiesung]

Nothin'. I'm from a looooong line of apple farmers, just so you know! I might as well be an apple—[What's the word?]—connoisseur!

[postocular]

So what's got you so worked up over them? They look like any apple I've ever seen. Taste like 'em, too.

[livesfastdiesung]

They taste... citrus-y. Kinda.

[postocular]

[ Squint. ]

...Do they?

[livesfastdiesung]

Kinda. Everyone says they can't taste anythin' but I definitely taste somethin'!

[postocular]

I didn't notice anything, but I'm not an apple expert, either.

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[crowkiller]

Lucky you they are rather easy to get rid of.

What did it do exactly?

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[livesfastdiesung]

It tastes weird.

[axi]

[Kaname's thoughts are the same as Messer's: Of course apples.]

They taste a little different, but not in a bad way. Besides, this is more than you've found otherwise, isn't it?

[livesfastdiesung]

It is! But...

It tastes citrus-y, it's like betrayal!

[axi]

[............]

Freyja, the apples don't taste like betrayal. They taste like food on an alien planet, which is something you're very familiar with.

[livesfastdiesung]

But apples usually taste like apples no matter what, though...

[axi]

Usually, but not always.

[hollystrike]

Everything tastes like apples except the apples, as far as I can see.

[Katie.]

[livesfastdiesung]

I wish everythin' tasted like apples...

[hollystrike]

Do you want me to make it so everything tasted like apples?

[livesfastdiesung]

...

Could you?

[hollystrike]

Probably. Wouldn't you get tired of apples, though?

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[moseyin]

What's your damage now? Why're you always yelling about something...

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[livesfastdiesung]

It's the apples, Cloud!

[Like that says everything that needs to be said.]

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[moseyin]

................okay? What, are they poisoned?

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[livesfastdiesung]

They're not poisoned! They just taste weird!

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[moseyin]

...yeah they do taste kinda weird. Kinda like...preserved stuff-

You know what? They taste like the dried fruit but wet. That kind of weird tangy taste.