001;

[privateeyed]

Who: Ben and you folks
Broadcast: Yes
Action: SS Huntress
When: now

action; SS Huntress

[Ben doesn't take teleportation well. In fact, if the confetti and the music didn't tip the ship off, the loud cursing probably does - there you go, Huntress, your security officer is here]

What the fuck—give a guy some fuckin' warning next time, geez! God damn teleporting bullshit.

[once he's calmed down, though - and picked up some of the pudding because far be it from him to turn down free food - he's wandering the ship, peeking his head into rooms to see what's what]


broadcast;

[once he's somewhat settled in and found a place to sit and digest everything going on, Ben decides to set up a broadcast to get some Shit Done]

Anyone here good with cybernetics? Or - I don't know, computers? Advanced stuff, can give you the specfics if you're interested. Don't need you right now, I'm just covering my ass just in case.

[he pauses, and maybe realizes he should . . . introduce himself. Like a normal person would. You know, instead of just getting down to business]

Uh - anyway, name's Ben; if you don't know shit about cybernetics . . . I don't know, come tell me about the weird crap going on here. Or stuff I should know. I like being informed.

Comments

[passingthrough]

People are very law abiding and pure in the future.

[privateeyed]

If only. [he snorts] It sure as hell would make my job easier.

[passingthrough]

Curiosity achieved. What's your job, Ben from the future?

[privateeyed]

Ben from the future sounds like one hell of a boring movie.

[as he answers, though, his right eye suddenly darkens - like the light behind it went out. He casually reaches up to hit himself in the head to get it working again]

I'm a certified private investigator - CPI. I do the PI thing, but I'm also like a freelancing cop. I'll take cases from the cops that won't get the time it deserves and work them myself.

I used to be a cop, but the CPI thing is a lot less a pain in the ass.

[passingthrough]

It definitely doesn't have an R or above rating. [She smiles and then listens to him talking about his job.]

Former cop, huh? I used to date a fed. Actually...I guess I used to date two feds. [She'd never thought of Winn that way before and maybe it wasn't fully accurate, but he did work for a secret federal government agency as an agent.]

[privateeyed]

You underestimate how much cursing I do. I can get it to an R. [what you've heard so far is mild compared to when he really gets going]

Hey, so did I. That's two things in common.

[passingthrough]

[That would be more fun. Her ratings are usually for dark themes. Okay, sex too.]

Wow, go us. What was the first thing we had?

[privateeyed]

Not knowing shit about my ship.

[passingthrough]

Oh right. How could I forget our most intrinsic bond?

Let's see. What else could we have? Puppies? Yay or nay?

[privateeyed]

Do I look like a cat person to you? Yay, obviously.

Got a dog back home. [...] Hope my neighbor feeds her while I'm kidnapped to space.

[passingthrough]

Well, you are bonding with a Kitty so I'd say you're in danger of it.

Mmm...the general line of thinking is when you go back, if you go back, you reappear at the same moment you left for what that's worth.

[privateeyed]

Wait, seriously? How the hell is that even possible?

You know what? Nevermind, I don't want to know. I chalk it up to more weird alien bullshit.

[passingthrough]

Any world, any reality, any timeline. If they can take us out from anywhere it stands to reason they could put us back. But it's more educated guessing than knowing.

[privateeyed]

What a bunch of shit. That's my educated statement on the matter.

[passingthrough]

It would be more impressive with citations and footnotes, but I guess it'll do.

[privateeyed]

I'm not a brainy guy, I'll leave that to someone who knows what they're doing.

[passingthrough]

Kind of have to be a little brainy for the detective work, no?

[privateeyed]

I'm just brainy enough to do my job. Past that? Dumb as fuck.

[passingthrough]

Now, is fuck even dumber than shit?

[privateeyed]

[he snorts] Could be. Depends on your preference and tone of voice. Gotta mix it up every now and then, you know?

[passingthrough]

Oh, definitely. You know, I'm starting to believe you could get that R rating after all.

[privateeyed]

To be entirely fair, all I'd gotta do is say fuck a few times. But yeah, easily.

[passingthrough]

True. They make it too easy. [Though she swears more rarely. She'd definitely earn her rating differently.]

So, Ben, the PI, any questions about the fleet?

[privateeyed]

Disappointing, isn't it? I want a challenge. [for ratings only]

Hmm. [he has plenty of questions] Got any idea how long this shit's been running? What's the longest time anyone's spent here? Does it ever circle into Earth's neck of the woods? Do these Atroma fuckheads ever show themselves? Can I write them an angry e-mail?

[he gives her a two finger salute] If you can answer all of those I'll stop interrogating you.

[passingthrough]

I think it's been a little over four years. My co-captain, Vash, has been here the longest of the people who are left I think. Or at least he's the one I know best who's been here the longest. I think he arrived pretty early. Maybe day one. [Which she hadn't really thought about, but it kind of hits her as she tells him. Maybe something to bring up with Vash sometime. Maybe something to definitely never bring up.]

Haven't seen anything that looks remotely familiar, so we're decently far from Earth. An Earth anyway. Assuming this reality even has one somewhere in the galaxy. The Atroma have a couple of representatives we've seen, though not in person as far as I know. It wasn't too long ago that they replaced the old ones probably violently for our viewing pleasure.

And...what was left? Oh, right, I don't know their email address, but if you type it they might have a record of it.

How was that?