driftfleet | [Open] Text

Who: Anders ~~and the empty room~~, anyone else
Broadcast: Yes
Action: SS Tourist, if desired
When: Day after the shuffle

[It had hardly taken long to piece it together. He woke up alone, without the warmth of another person nearby. Opening his eyes revealed that the room was back to the size it had been before they'd merged their quarters and the bed really only had enough room for him and the three sleeping snow kittens.

It didn't matter that all of Wolfe's things were still littered around the room, what mattered was the absence of the man himself. He rarely left in the morning without telling Anders something.

He didn't even bother checking to see if he could send a message to Hawke once Anders spotted the ring he had offered Hawke nearly two weeks ago.

It took him a moment to gather himself, but, quietly, he did and checked the communicator just to make sure. How silly of him to even feel surprised or expect anything different.]

To those that knew him, Adalwolfe Hawke is no longer on the fleet.

It appears the same is true of Marian Hawke.

If anyone has any business left unsettled with either of them, please feel free to let me know and I will do my best to help.

[It hadn't taken long to find both missing when he tried to send a message to 'Hawke' and found no Hawkes listed in the fleet. He'd quickly followed up with checking some of the others as well, but it seemed most of everyone was still around. Mostly. Everyone from Kirkwall was gone except him.

He hesitated before adding:]

Fenris is gone as well.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...I don't know. People keep asking me and I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is what I ought to be feeling or not. He's been in my life for a decade with only a couple weeks of time apart at the most, with one exception. I may never see him again, the way some talk, I may never get home or even get pulled somewhere else. [He shrugs and steps back a bit, a silent offer for Kirk to come in if he wants, though the room is smaller now and full of kittens and left behind things. It wasn't necessarily appealing.]

And yet, I might go tomorrow and see him as though none of this had happened. It feels like he could walk back in at any moment, yet I know he won't unless Atroma's fickle graces decide it.

I'm upset, but..also not surprised. I should have seen it coming.

[Considering everything that happened with the group from Thedas recently...and then Anders had finally proposed and he should have known Atroma would rather the drama of something happening than the peace of a continued happy life.]

What about you?

I think whatever you're feeling is what you're feeling. I don't think anyone can say you should feel this or you should feel that. What you feel is what you feel and you just... deal with this all in your own time and your own way.

_{[ Kirk steps inside, going over to the leopards and holding out his
hand for them to sniff at. He gives a similar shrug. ]}

About the same, I think. I should have seen it coming. Expected it even. I just... when it's actually happened, you're never quite ready. It's still sinking in, I think.

[All two of the three kittens wake up and lift their heads as Kirk comes closer and sniff the offered hand readily. It's Cloudyspots who pushes his head into the Captain's hand for additional pets. Anders comes away from the door to lean against the wall, watching the cats interact with his friend.]

Definitely understandable, it must hurt. You, Kitty, others in this fleet, I imagine it's harder for you. That's why it feels silly to be as upset as I am. Despite my fears of never seeing him again, the likelihood that I will is just as strong since we're from the same state of things. But I will not see Fenris nor Marian again if they're not brought back here. None of you will. [It might be harsh, but it's true. It doesn't even occur to him it's the first time he's at least implied he's upset at the prospect of not seeing Fenris again to anyone other than the elf.
But all he can think of is if Wolfe weren't his Hawke and what that would feel like. Kirk's feelings for Fenris were strong as was Kitty's for Winn and neither of them shared a world or a probability of being reunited. hat was so much worse than what he was feeling now.

If there's anything I can do for you, let me know. And before you say anything, I prefer to work when dealing with things that upset me, so don't think you'd be putting more on me by asking.

_{[ Harsh indeed, but undeniable. He knew the odds, even though he liked
to keep the hope alive that, somehow, he could take Fenris to the
Enterprise, like he said he would, to give him a better life. ]}

I think it's hard for all of us. There is no harder for them or harder for you. It's just hard. We all lost a friend, or a lover this time, and it - it's just hard. No need to quantify and make it a pissing contest.

_{[ Not that he was accusing Alistair of doing that, but he didn't see
the point in trying to say who hurt more. They all hurt and they needed to
come together right now, as much as they could, in the ways that everyone
needed to deal with the loss. ]}

No, I understand. I like working too. I'm not very good at just... sitting, which I'm sure you know by now.

_{[ He considered for a moment. ]}

We could probably still do some more repairs on the ship from that crash landing. Most major things are done, it's just the little bits now that we've been putting off.

I apologize, it wasn't my intention to make it sound that way. [Though, it had certainly sounded that way, thinking on it now. He was so desperate not to feel his own loss, he was tuning it into a 'pissing contest' in the reverse. Laughable.

But he smiled at Kirk.]

I do indeed know that, Captain. All right, repairs it is, then. I'm not sure exactly how much help I'll be, but I'll figure out what I need to. [Better than making potions he didn't need or staring at the wall or spending all day in Malum, at least.]

It's all right. What you don't know, ask. It'll be good to have someone else on the ship who knows some basics and can help when we need it anyways.

_{[ Engineering. Scientific. Straight forward. Couldn't get hurt with
engineering - except in the physical sense, but that was solveable. The way
they both hurt now? Less so. ]}

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